How To Architect A New Belief In Others

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Welcome, or welcome back to Success with Srini. Today, the January 28 2022. Today’s a Friday morning here in California where I’m recording this podcast. Today’s a Friday. I’ll keep it very simple, precise to the point. Just a little bit of motivation today, not a long podcast episode. I say that but usually I end up recording a long one.

For the last few days we have been talking about, in fact, on Monday, I took a quote by Lao Tzu wherein he says that our thoughts design our destiny, and that whole thing, thoughts create the words, words create actions, action create our habits, habit creates our character, character creates our destiny. That’s how you design the destiny. So Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, more or less, I was focused on words, thoughts, intent. I shared a few strategies.

Today, I want to talk about something that I have been doing for nearly 15, 20 years now, when people come for consultations, they talk to me about their issues, their challenges. This is called architecting a belief. This principle is very simple. See, when somebody’s beliefs and values are challenged. For example, let’s say you’re putting a lot of work, a lot of effort and you’re not getting results. And you know, all the systems, you know all the techniques, you know what it takes, but somehow something is not working. Usually, that means the environment within which you’re operating is not working. Maybe this has to do with skills. But you have all the skills, and then the chances are, maybe some of your beliefs or incorrect beliefs needs to be addressed.

Architect a new belief if you can architect a new belief.

Most of the times it’s about beliefs and values. And these beliefs and values are unconscious. In other words, these things we accumulated over a long period of time, this is how we should make money. This is how we should look. This is how we should dress. This how we should eat. These are all things over a long period of time. So changing them is hard is difficult. So my job, right, as a coach or a therapist, as a mentor, is to architect a new belief if I can architect a new belief. In my listeners are in my clients mind, majority of the problems go away. And one way of doing that is using the power of hypnosis. Because beliefs and values are mostly unconscious, they come from the unconscious part of the brain. So we can access the unconscious part of the brain in a much faster way, using hypnosis, I’m not saying others ways don’t work. But hypnosis is the fastest way to do that. So it’s very easy to use hypnosis to make a change in the unconscious mind. So we can replace a belief very, very quickly.

When you replace the belief quickly, everything in their life gets fixed as a result of that. So they will have a better behavior. And they will apply the skills they already know in a different way. And everything that’s happening in their environment, they happen more positively to the environments, not necessarily people around them are changing, but because they’re happening positively in the environment with this new belief. Then the response they get from other people is also in a good way. So a positive response to all the actions in the environment. So this is how this is.

Now, how do you architect a new belief? Because as a parent, as a manager, as a leader, as a co worker, as a spouse, you are in a way architecting new beliefs in every one you are dealing with around you. But you’re not using hypnosis, right? Well, this is where an element of conversational hypnosis comes in. There are certain words that you can use in a certain manner, in a certain order to create this new belief in people.

I’ll tell you something very interesting. I do seminars and workshops. Every time I do a seminar where it’s a one day seminar or a two day seminar, at the end of the seminar. Usually a few attendees, they come up and ask questions they otherwise did not ask me while the seminar was going on. This is the end of the second day. Let’s say I’m doing a weight loss seminar. At the end of the seminar, a few people come up to me and usually the questions are like this. You think I can lose weight? You think I can lose 10 pounds? You think I can make $10,000 in the in the new business. You think my relationship with my son is going to improve. They ask these questions. Now guess what? Guess what my my answer is going to be.

“Yes, you will.” You see that? So what’s going on is I’m affirming their belief. Because I have a deep conviction it does. What I’m saying is going to work, what I’m showing it’s going to work. See, someone comes to my seminar workshop, they have heard me on the radio for years, they have been on my email list, I’ve gotten emails, you know, tons of emails from me. And they’re, they’re in the room for two days, four hour days, literally, at the end, they’re asking a question that for which they consume the content for 24 hours, literally, and asking the basic question. At that point in time, it’s not about skill, they already gotten the skill. They already have the understanding. They’ve already seen testimonials, they’ve seen everything. But there is some little bit of a doubt. They come up and they say, You think I lose 10 pounds? I can? Usually my answer is, “I don’t think you can. You will.” That’s it.

Simplicity, in any conversation conveys the depth of understanding small words.

See, what I found out is simplicity, in any conversation conveys the depth of understanding. Simplicity, in any conversation conveys the depth of understanding small words. But powerful words, when properly positioned in a conversation, creates the necessary effect in the mind of the listener. It’s a very powerful concept. So that’s why I use the word Thank you hundreds of times in a day. Even though nobody’s listening, I’m saying thank you, all the time. Thank you. I use sorry, three times a day. That’s a mandatory word I use three times it keeps me humble keeps me simple.

Thank you and sorry, are two powerful words.

I think if you ever want to practice humility, then use the word Thank you and sorry, multiple times throughout the day. It doesn’t diminish you, it doesn’t put you down. It actually raises your value in front of you. In your own self. You feel much more filled as an individual and use these words are powerful. Most people don’t do it. Thank you and sorry, are two powerful words. Simplicity conveys the depth of understanding I use only 800 words in English. English is not my first language. Use only 800 words. My vocabulary is very small, very limited when I started speaking. So I use only simple words, I don’t use complex words. In fact, there are some words 11,12 years of radio shows, total years of podcast I mean, podcasting since 2016, off and on. So many seminars, workshops, I have words that I know I have not used on air or at my seminars, because I can’t say those words properly in English. I know what kind of limitations I have. I use simple words, even in hypnosis, when I’m working with people simple words, simple messages, simple discussions, simple conversations. I use simplicity, only to affirm the listeners belief.

So here’s my challenge for you for this weekend. Go affirm the beliefs of other people around you with simple words, things like I like you, I love you, I believe in you, I support you. I’m there for you simple line, simple phrases, simple words. Don’t make it complex. I see when I consult in corporations, I see managers giving multiple directions to people, same individual, if the individual meets the manager in the morning gets one direction in the afternoon, the direction in the evening and other direction. At the end, the whole outcome is messed up. And the managers are clueless did tell me that they have bad employees working for them. They have underperforming employees working for them. So they have to go hire better people. And I’m there looking at this dynamic and suggesting, why don’t you simplify your communication? Say simple things, say them consistently. Doesn’t matter. Morning, afternoon, evening, every time you talk to that individual, tell the same thing. And so that you instill hope and confidence in them, they will get the job done. They need managers but they don’t need to manage their self managed.

Anyway, I’m gonna stop here. This is my flight of wisdom. You have a wonderful weekend, and I will talk to you tomorrow. Thank you.

Life Is Better When Sights Are Higher

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome, or welcome back to Success with Srini. Today’s the January 27 2022. And this happens to be a Thursday. So Happy Thursday morning to you.

Over the last few days, we have been talking about how our thoughts, design or destiny, and specifically a quote from Lao Tzu that I have been talking about. Making all the podcast episodes kind of tied together to that one chord. I want to extend that thought a little bit more today on this podcast.

Some time ago, this was back in 2000. Many years ago, in fact, 2012 I believe, I had an individual walking into my practice back then I used to have a huge office nice to see literally 8 to 10 clients a day, 2011. And with a unique problem, which is, “my spouse constantly fights with me, there is never a moment where I cannot detach myself from listening to all that my spouse goes through says utters or yells and shout all that.” And I was listening, I said, “Is it possible for your spouse to come in so that I can talk to them?” This person says yes. So I meet both of them. And I hypnotized, both of them in my office, unique things came out in that conversation. In a deep state of hypnosis, both of them told me that they are in love with each other. That’s the first line of getting a confirmation that yes, this relationship can be saved.

And then, interestingly, this individual who actually came to me for the first time, and as I’m doing this, I’m describing this problem, I’m not specifically saying he or she, as you clearly see this. Because I want to keep that as a as a very generic because this problem happens on both sides of the aisle. Okay. I’ve seen all kinds of situations scenarios, but I’m not describing any one individual here. So I’m just being neutral as I’m describing the story to you. So the individual who came to me first, this individual is obviously in love. And obviously, both of them are in love with each other. So that was established. But then, in deep hypnosis, I found out that the reason why the spouse is constantly fighting is because there is in core need that has not been met. Since the childhood.

During the childhood, this person used to go on vacations with the parents. But the father passed away very early. And since then, this individual has not gone on vacations. So along the way, time went by, studied, graduated, went to college, got a job, built a good career, but then that vacation thing is what is causing the conflict in marriage. And I suggested to both of them that they should go on a vacation. So that was the end outcome of the hypnosis session.

So they went on a vacation. About three months later, the first individual call me call me back saying, “Srini your suggestion worked ut we are still fighting. Still we have a conflict.” I said, Okay. And I said, “How was the vacation?” “The vacation was great. As long as we were on vacation, we were not fighting. But after we came back, the fight started again.” I said, “fair enough. Did you go on a second vacation in the last three months?” “No, we did not.” I said, “why don’t you schedule on more vacation.” And this individual good listener and a good follower of what I was, I was suggesting blindly scheduled a vacation.

They went on a vacation again, came back and started fighting again. So I said, “I wanted to do a third experiment. This time. I want you to schedule a vacation while you are on a vacation. Don’t come back and don’t give a long time.” They went on a third vacation came back this time. They had a future vacation scheduled as per my suggestion. And there were no fights. There’s no fights till the next vacation happened. So called me told me that since they came back from the vacation as they have one more vacation planned. There are no fights happening.

And “Srini I’m following what you’re telling me? Is it that I need to keep on scheduling these vacations? Seems that that seems to be the solution.” I said, “maybe it is maybe not.” So this individual wanted to know what I’m doing here. Like, what is my line of approach to this problem? Well, it’s very simple. People complain, people fight, people yell and shout, because they are not able to see what future has for them. Complaining about the unknown. So all you have to do is this applies anywhere, everywhere. It’s applies at work, it applies in school, in any situation, any social situation, this technique applies. Your job is with your words, with your thoughts. And you provide the certainty, right, we talked about that in the last few days. You also remove indecision, I talked about that in yesterday’s podcast. But then your job is to also increase the line of sight.

The reason why they were not fighting on the in the vacation during the vacation is because the conversation was different. The conversations were futuristic. And when they came back to real life, which is the happenings, the real happenings, the conversations were mostly mundane, like daily stuff. There was no futuristic conversation happening, there’s nothing they were looking forward to.

We need to find the depth.

Hence, if there is a looking forward event already scheduled, then there is no conflict. See, my podcasts are scheduled like thing. So I know exactly what I’m doing. So I’m not wasting my time, you see that something like that may not be the right example, but you get the point. So your job in any situation is to raise the line of sight of every individual that you are engaging with. When you do that, you you know, they’re seeing something that they otherwise do not see with other people.
So this is what goes back to yesterday’s podcast, where I said it’s a privilege, it’s a privilege to have deep conversations with right people. So these two individuals, they are in love, they are a couple and they’re married, so they love each other, you see that they love each other. So it’s a deep relationship, the depth of the conversation is missing, we need to find the depth. And the way you find the depth is by raising the line of sight.

Employees complained to the managers because they don’t know what’s happening at the highest level. Because they don’t know what’s happening. They complain, they get frustrated. They think this is the world, I have been an employee myself, I have been a manager myself. I have employed people in my own business over the years. And what I know is my thinking and my thoughts are not the same. When I was an employee, I had a different mindset. As a manager, different mindset as an employer, different mindset.

See the world differently.

So my job if I want to have happy employees and happy people around me, I need to raise the line of sight. So several people in my business today that are employed with me, I insist that I have futuristic conversations with them. I try to raise their line of sight how they see things line of sight is not a biological term. Line of Sight is a philosophical term within which you raise somebody’s vision of how they see how they increase the map in their mind and see the world differently. When you do that, you will be in happy relationships. Try this with your words with your thought with your intent with your work with your application, try to raise the line of sight of the people who are around you. And see how you grow.

Appreciate you listening to this podcast. I’ll come back tomorrow, tomorrow’s Friday. So we will continue this conversation a little bit more. I’ll share maybe five days I’ll probably tone it down a little bit. But we’ll wrap up this week with words, with thought with intent and serving others and giving them certain at removing indecision from them. They grow, we grow. That’s going to be the focus for this week.

That’s all for now. Wherever you are you be safe. And appreciate you listening to this podcast appreciate you subscribing to this podcast. And if you like what you’re hearing here, then go ahead write a review, share the podcast and that way I can reach some more people. Not that I need more people but I want to help as many people as possible. This is the only medium that reaches the whole world. This is where I am engaged. I don’t have any other medium to reach the world. Radio is what I use to reach the Silicon Valley but this podcast reaches the whole world so thank you for your support, thank you for your participation. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye now.

Deep Conversations With Right People Is A Privilege

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Welcome or welcome back to Success with Srini. Today is January 26, year 2022. It’s a Wednesday morning. Happy Wednesday morning to you Happy Hump Day. And to all my friends in India and all over the world, Happy Independence Day to you. Good as I started the podcast, I have a few things on my mind. But I want to focus on something that happened yesterday.
On my show, I do a show on Tuesdays. Tuesdays are my radio days, I do a show in the evening. And my show happens between 630 and 7pm pacific here in Silicon Valley in the Bay Area, San Jose area where I live. And yesterday on the radio show, I tried to do something different an experiment that went amazingly, I don’t know, was amazing. The radio show, 10 minutes into the radio show on the fly. I decided this was not a pre planned thing. I was thinking I want to do something different. But I did not know what to do.

See, every time I get on a show or on the podcast here, my intent is that, what can I say? What can I express? What is it that I can do on the show that’s going to impact the listener. And my mindset is everybody who is listening to me is listening to me for the very first time. I’m not thinking that there are repeat listeners or subscribers to my show, even though I address them on my show that way. But everybody who’s listening to me is listening to me for the very first time. So I need to get their attention at the same level that otherwise, they heard me many many, you know, years or months ago. So every conversation is new. Every time I need to create the same level of excitement, same level of curiosity, same level of enthusiasm, as if I’m talking to them for the very first time, even though I could be talking to them for the nth time.

So this podcast, if you are a repeat listener, you’re a subscriber. That means I need to talk to you with the same level of enthusiasm. That otherwise I spoke to you for the very first time. I don’t know because you know why you might be listening to this show for the first time. And you may not have heard this before. So this could be the very first time you’re listening. That’s the point, right?

So because you’re listening to this for the very first time, and you may go and listen to my older episodes also. Because once this episode is done, you go to the next one and next one, I need to have the same level of enthusiasm, I cannot be talking to you, as if you know, that is a disconnect in the energy. You see what I’m saying the disconnect in the energy.

So yesterday, I got on the show and I was thinking, what is that I need to do I need to do something different, but no idea what to do. 10 minutes into the show, I said we have about 18 minutes at that point in time. And I said we’re going to get called and give away five lucky people a chance to join my Success 2022. It’s the event I do once a year. And this event is transformational. Now something about this event, I invite speakers to come. And I get to spend time with the speakers myself, I’m hosting them. So I have incredible conversations with the speakers.

So the preparation for this event is like a goldmine for me. Because these are amazing people. I get to spend time with them. So amazing, feeling amazing all together, I can’t even express the event is a bonus for me. Then, at the event, I get to spend time with people who are coming in people who listen to the radio show, but I don’t see them. And I’m one of the people in the audience. I don’t speak a lot at this event. So it’s vacation for me honestly speaking. Having so many people getting to know the speakers well, getting to know the audience as well, my listeners well. I have a deep conviction about this event. I do this once a year did not happen last year 2021. This is big.

So sometimes it’s a one day event, sometimes a two day event, but I give my life to it. So I go there on the show yesterday, and I said 10 minutes into the show I say call in. And the first five minutes, first five callers win. If there are more than five callers, we go into a draw. And we’ll do a draw and five lucky winners win. So in my mind, there were five callers who had to give out the tickets call started coming in. I was expecting maybe 10 callers will call in. In the 17 minutes, the board was full. There was no way I could take all the calls. Once I was done, and I looked at the stats, there were 93 calls made yesterday in 20 minutes. 93 times people reached, we don’t know the distinct callers, how many there are. But some people call multiple times they were on hold, and they kept on calling back. So 93 phone calls made a lot of hold time on the show. We can only take at any point in time 4 calls can be on hold. Four or six, I think on the station side. And I don’t know how many callers are calling. It was remarkable, because I never had this many number of callers calling into the show, and holding the lines for that long.

So if you were a caller yesterday on my radio show, then thank you for your support. And I’m sorry that I could not get you on air. But you know where I’m coming from. Now we did an analysis after the show was done, I did an analysis. And here is my observation about the show. There was not much of content, there was no content. And in fact, yesterday on the show, we shifted the date to March 26. It was supposed to be happening on February 5, but we shifted to March 26. Still people called in. And at that point, I realized after the show was done, as I was analyzing this, I realized that people were not supposed to come because there is COVID, isn’t it? And they don’t care. They don’t care, honestly. Their text messages is coming now, not a single person is saying “okay, I can’t come this event”. My office already calling them back, as I’m recording this, my office already reached to several people, and each one of them telling my office that they’re okay, they’re gonna come in. So we moved the date thinking it’s a COVID situation. But then people are like, they’re over it in their mind. I think I’m not sure, I think less than one observation.

The biggest observation yesterday from the show was there was no content, I come to share content I want to but then yesterday shows a proof. In the last two days from this podcast, I’ve been telling you how to lead, how to talk to people with intent, and have your thoughts in play. So that your words will be in order, so that your actions will reflect the words and then your actions become your habits. And I talked about the whole Lao Tzu’s example, his quote on how our thoughts become our destiny.

I lead with a thought yesterday on the show, even though I had no content there, but thought was very clear, come to the events will change your life. And I had because those words, whatever I said on show, they were real because I have you know, it’s a part of my unconscious. This is my conviction that my event will change your life. If you’re coming. That was my conviction I showed up there. I was not worried about how should I say this? When should I say this? What is my clock? How much time I have? None. I ran out of time, I knew I had to take the calls. At the end. I said listen, everybody who called in, everybody whose call I took you are in into my event.

A good conversation can shift the direction of change forever.

We started out thinking maybe there are going to be 100 people at the event. Now it looks like it’s going to be a much larger event. Here is something that I learned many, many years ago, many things I learned specifically when it comes down to having an incredible conversation. A good conversation can shift the direction of change forever. Whatever change that people are seeking a good conversation can shift the direction of the change. And my job is to go and shift. People are having conversations in their mind, every listener you are having conversation in your mind right now. My job is to give enough amount of certainty. My job is to remove any indecision you have got going. And my job is to shift the direction of that conversation towards a positive outcome. That’s all I do in therapy. That’s all I do in coaching. That’s all I’m trying to do on this podcast. That’s all I did yesterday on the show. And moving forward from this point. That’s what I’m going to do. That’s my commitment to myself. By the way, one good conversation can shift the direction of change forever was said by Linda Lambert, that’s her quote.

When you have a deep conversation with the right people, that’s a privilege.

See, I do these events because I get the speakers there. And I get the audience’s that if anybody comes in. And the reason why these are so empowering, personally for me, is because I get to have deep conversations with people in person who is coming in whether the speaker of the attendee and when you have a deep conversation with the right people, that’s a privilege. That’s a privilege. Most people don’t have it. I think I have the privilege. It’s an honor. It’s just a blessing. It’s it’s a God’s gift to have that kind of deep conversations with people who you don’t really know in person, but you made them you have and this is a privilege. I just don’t want to lose. I’m okay to lose my life. Not okay to lose this privilege. I’m having deep conversations with people, random, unknown people who don’t, I don’t know them. I made them. They pour their heart, they pour the soul. I pour my heart and my soul. Amazing.

Go and have an incredible conversation.

My message to you is this today, go and have an incredible conversation. If you’re angry at someone today, drop your anger. If you’re frustrated with something, drop your frustration. You’re detached, go-attach yourself with a good conversation. See how life will reward you. It’s important that you walk away happy from any conversation.

You’re seeking happiness in your life, it starts with you.

I’m done with this podcast episode recording here. As I’m going to press the stop button, you know, I’m walking away from this conversation, which is one way by the way, but immensely blessed. I have no idea who will listen to this. No idea how many are listening doesn’t matter. People look at the stats. Not worried about that. But I’m walking away with an incredible feeling. And that’s what matters. So go have that feeling with whoever you have in your life at work in your life. Go do that. Life will be amazing. It will shift something. A good conversation will shift something usually the direction of your destiny. You keep on adding those conversations. Suddenly you are happy. Suddenly everybody around you is happy. Happiness. You’re seeking happiness in your life, it starts with you. And in fact it starts within you.

That’s all for now. You have an incredible day. And the radio show from yesterday will be uploaded here as a podcast. Go listen to the show. Amazing. That’s all for now. You take care of yourself. Bye.