Failure Is An Essential Ingredient Of Success..But Why?

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A long time ago, somebody asked me in a seminar, what’s the secret to success? And I said, I do not know the secret to success and nobody knows the answer. Nobody knows the secret. But I know that if you keep on applying that which you are learning, and you keep on doing that, despite not getting success, then eventually, you will win. Eventually, you will succeed, eventually, you will make it big. And so true. So true. And today, when I do seminars, and workshops, I meet people, and everybody wants me to tell them, what’s the secret? And what’s the one resource or one secret or one technique or one thing that they should do? So that they can get to whatever outcome they’re seeking? And my answer is there isn’t any. And no matter how many times you ask the question, no matter how many people you ask the question, you will not get the answer that you are looking for, for unless you learn, you take action, you apply, and you fail. And you learn one more lesson from that failure, and then you go and apply again, everything that you learned in the beginning in the first place, and then the incremental learning also you apply, now you go after it, then chances are you will again fail, you will come back with a new lesson.

Now one more lesson. Now you have two lessons, and also what you learned in the first place, the third time around, you go and apply everything. And then chances are you will fail. And then you have the third lesson now, including the first one and the fourth attempt, you will apply all the four chances you’ll fail. And this process continues for a long amount of time, sometimes five years sometimes 10. You Who knows, nobody knows. And then eventually, you are this overnight success. Eventually, like an overnight success could be 10 years, 20 years, people don’t see that, by the way. Nobody sees that. But then you are. You just made it overnight. Every time I met someone who is an overnight success. There is so much to them.

Recently, I was doing a radio show. And I asked a question about the show. I said what is the one thing that you overcome some darkness in you something that you that you struggled with? And you did overcome? And what did you do? How Jura sang was listening to my show, and he called in. And let’s go to that, too. He has an incredible story to share. And as I was listening to what he was saying, I ended up clapping. You will you’ll listen to that I’m going to play his story. Amazing story. That is, you know, so many people listening to my show, and this wonderful story on mistakes and failures. He made a huge impact on all the listeners, let’s go to the recording. And when we come back, I will add a bit more to it. So tell me, what is your secret? What’s What did you overcome to have what you have today?

It’s the fear of failure.

Okay, wonderful.

So in this role in pressure to succeed, and not celebrate. That’s when I realized that you’re learning and you’ll fail and grow. I remember way back in 93. My CEO said something if you don’t try, you will not fail.

And if you fail, I’m happy because you tried. But then you fail once and you’ll learn from it. That’s great. For the second time, I love you to happy and I failed the third time during the same mistake, then I’ll fire you because that means you didn’t learn from your first failure. And yes, you made the second failure again on the same mistake. And yet you didn’t learn. That’s the biggest difference. Failure is not bad. Not learning from failure is not fun. Never.

I mean, a long time ago, I read. I read two courts actually printed these out in my house. One said, you know, you know the true character, your true character is how you go from one failure to one failure to the other without losing enthusiasm over the first go direct and still in my brain. And then there’s also one more What I started with many, many years ago, which is failures are portals of self-discovery. So true, amazing. So here is the message on today’s podcast. And the message is, there is no shortcut. Don’t try any, there aren’t any. And no matter who gives you a system or a formula, or a strategy or a technique, I claim it here many people like me claim through their podcasts and through their seminars, and workshops, nobody has the answer. Nobody has the answer. There are so many incredible philosophers, and so many incredible minds. We all are humans, nobody has the answer. The only answer is that you find your answer. The only answer is that you put in the effort you put in the time you make the mistakes, you learn from your mistakes, then you create your own success. That’s the answer. That’s the truth. And you can’t create any success unless you surrender to this process called making mistakes.

Many, many years ago, I shared a story on my radio show, and also on this podcast at some point in time, a story that I read somewhere. This is a story of a vice president of a division within IBM, who takes on this project $10 million project to come up with a next-gen operating system. And they work on it for about a year or two, whatever. And there are some deadlines that his team has to meet. And they don’t have at the end of those two years or three years, they do not have a product, they do not have anything to show or whatever that is not worth it. So he’s called into a board meeting. And so he walks in with his resignation letter and sprocket thinking that he’ll be fired and goes meet the CEO. And without the CEO saying anything. He says he takes out his resignation letter and says like, I’ve already printed this and signed this, just in case. And the CEO says something incredible. You think I’m such a fool that will fire you. I just put in $10 million to teach you a lesson. Now that you’ve gotten that lesson, you think I’ll fire you? So an incredible story and I forgot the names, and I had them written somewhere. But you get the idea. If you seriously think about this life is constantly teaching lessons to us. We are without a constraint mindset. We choose not to learn. And we don’t want to learn because we don’t want to try. And we don’t want to try as Jura pointed out because we just don’t want to fail. None of us want to fail.

Nobody wants to fail. The single biggest reason why I did not do this podcast every day is that I was scared. What if I do this podcast, and I declare that I’m doing this every day? What if I do not do it every day? It’s a failure. I don’t want to fail hence I don’t want to do so. The fear of failure is the single biggest separator. You can’t learn nobody can learn anything unless they try. That’s the message of this podcast. You go enjoy your Friday. And I’ll be with you. Before you know it as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned.

What to do When Emotional Pain Won’t go Away | Eventually it will Leave..But…

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Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Thursday morning to you. Today on the podcast, we are talking about pain, and how to deal with pain. When I say pain, I mean emotional and mental pain, something that has been on my mind for a long time I was looking for a window, I was looking for some space, because every day I come here, I take up some questions from you, which is very important to me, your question is important to me. And your questions are also in my inbox which is messages, and text messages, I need to catch up with all of that. But I was not finding a proper window, I think today’s the day. And maybe it’s going to take a couple of days to really get this out of me from within me. But lately, in the last few months, I have been part of many discussions, you know, friends, family, and all that. And this discussion of pain has been a part of many conversations.

So I thought I should spend some time on the podcast today. So if I have to give a question to my thought, if I have to make up a question, here is how I would phrase the question I’m suffering a lot of pain, When will I get rid of this pain? What can I do to get rid of this pain without going into any specifics? You have a life which means you have an activity that means you have existence, it means you are coexisting with someone, we are coexisting with someone it means that you have emotions, you have feelings, you have feelings, it means you have thoughts in your mind that can go from one to the other thought at any point in time you go, you can go forward in time, you can go backward in time, oftentimes when you go backward, it means you already are feeling things that already happened to in the past, and you exist there.

That means you’re living the pain that you experienced in the past. So many discussions that have been a part of I’m telling you, it’s crazy. So what pain does do to us emotional and mental pain, emotional pain, and what can we do to overcome this? That’s how I would phrase the question. Okay. When pain enters the system, that means some expectations were not met, somebody stepped on your soul, or something that you were expecting or something that you thought you had control over, did not happen. And you are now accommodating others whom you love and care for. But whatever you’re accommodating, they themselves are not stepping up and causing more disturbance for you. We can define it in any which way. And all those definitions hold true. There is truth to them. So here’s what happens. I’m going to go into the formula and I’m going to go into the psychology behind this. Usually, pain means three things. Sustained pain, makes you incoherent. Pain removes clarity and makes you unclear.

That’s the first damage. I’m not saying that’s one of the damages. I’m not saying that that is anything in order. But that’s one of the damages. Three things it does. That is one that will make you incoherent and makes you unclear about what’s happening. And when that happens, and it happens for a long amount of time, there is a high possibility that you will become intolerant, intolerant to things happening around you intolerant to other people’s emotions, and you start to feel as if you are losing control. That leads to the third one which is it will make you inept. That means you’re not suitable to deal with your circumstances anymore. That’s what inept means.

So you become incoherent, intolerant, and inept. As that’s happening, this continues for a long time. You start to dull of self-doubt. Maybe I don’t have it in me. Maybe I can’t do this anymore. Maybe this is not right. And you start losing trust in yourself. That continues for some time. The next thing that happens, is sabotage. See, in one area, you experience self-doubt because there is pain You slowly now transfer that to other areas of life. And you start messing up things that are happening to you. You start seeing everything with a haze with a filter. And that is where sabotage happens. So self doubt.

Now, slowly, taking over other areas of life. This continues for a long time, you’re feeling incoherent, you’re intolerant, you’re inept. Now you have self-doubt you have self-sabotage, and eventually, you surrender. That’s it, you’re surrender. It’s what happens. It breaks you. It breaks you. That’s what they do in prisons. That’s what they do with criminals. They will torture you emotionally, and mentally if I don’t know all that. I’ve seen this. Things happen because I’m born to a policeman. And I’ve seen how prisons operate, they will break you till you surrender. Life does the same thing to you, you have a lot of money, a lot of fame, you have a lot of names, you have a lot of lot. But then you feel isolated. You feel you are not in touch with the truth. You don’t have happiness, you don’t have joy. You break. That is why people who have it all are not happy. And people who do not have it all, obviously are not happy. And they look up to these people and say, Oh, they have everything that I want, how come they are unhappy? No, no, no, the rules of life apply to everything, everyone. Rich people are unhappy, and poor people are happy. And everything in between is also true. This is what we call suffering.

Collectively, all this is called suffering, you got to break the cycle, and you got to come out of it. You see, when people go through some pain, they’re looking for a cure. Why? Because they’re experiencing the thing they think in their mind that pain is harmful. See, somebody has gone through a lot of emotional pain. And let’s say they somehow came out of it. You agree that they are strong. I want you to look into your own life, when was the last time you came out of a painful situation emotionally painful situation, you stayed there for a long time you felt you went through all this the entire cycle of self-sabotage self-doubt, all that you came out of it. What happened? You became stronger.

So there is obviously a desire to cure the pain because you logically you’re thinking that pain is harming me, and I need a cure for this. And this is where people run to therapists and, and all kinds of medication, all that stuff, which I’m not disqualifying at all, I think all that has a place. And that should be approached that way I get it. Because I play that role myself. If I’m in pain I look for and go to experts. And when people are in pain, they do reach out to me. So I respect and understand that. But we are having a philosophical discussion on pain. And I don’t want to go into the deep specifics. And this is not about that. So as we go into this, there is one thing that I want to leave you with and this is going to shift your understanding of going through a situation right now. The pain we go for a cure because we think it’s harmful to us. But I want you to shift your frame and your understanding a bit and I want you to look at it. That pain is teaching a lesson.

Pain is here because I want I did not learn that lesson before. And it’s teaching me a lesson let me learn that lesson. Let me get to it. Let me understand this. And pain eventually leaves. When it is done teaching us a lesson. It will stay there and make us suffer as long as we deny them Listen, I want to leave that notion. I want to leave the clause of the podcast today with that notion. And I want you to understand that some experts, some psychologists, and some great philosophers have said this, you know, pain is mandatory. Suffering is optional. Yes, there is truth to it. The sooner you understand, the sooner you make an effort to learn that lesson that pain is trying to teach you. At that moment, your suffering is going to go away. Okay, I want to stop you at any time. If I say anything more, more, from this point on, I think I’m going over extending the thought. That’s all for now. Have an incredible Thursday. Tomorrow’s the weekend. And tomorrow’s a Friday, and I’m going to catch you with a very small little podcast episode. Okay. Stay tuned. Keep listening. Bye for now.

The 3-Step Formula For Success In Career & Business

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Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Wednesday morning to you. It’s hump day. We are in the middle of the week. Okay, so on the podcast today, I want to extend my thought from yesterday. Yesterday on the podcast, I talked about two different approaches that I take to pick a job and a role. And offer. This was a response to a question that I received from a listener of my radio show asking or telling me that they got three job offers without giving any details about three job offers, and how should I pick the one that will benefit me the most. But for the question, so I explained, you know, if I wake up in their shoes, how would I pick this? So if you haven’t yet, listened to yesterday’s podcast, do it before you listen to today’s podcast, this podcast episode. Okay, extending from there.

The question is this, the question is how can someone get three job offers in this market? See, I want you to put yourself in that mode, I want you to imagine for a second, I want you to ask yourself, can you get three job offers in this market? I don’t know if everybody is stopping to hire. And I’m making the reference sitting here in Silicon Valley, looking at the tech companies and what they’re doing. It’s hard. I think, not difficult, not impossible, which is hard. So I was thinking, what might have happened? Or how could this person get three job offers, without talking to them without any exchange? Here is how I’m speculating this, it’s possible that they may have applied or this gentleman might have applied for a ton of jobs, a ton of jobs. So I have on this podcast, I said this multiple times that if you apply it’s a numbers game, you keep on applying, and eventually, it’s going to click somewhere. So maybe they applied a lot. Let’s for a second assume that that may not be the case. Maybe they applied selectively. If they applied selectively, then there is a possibility that their resume was standing out there wrote something in the resume, or the way the resume was written, or whatever they have done their experiences, they really have articulated that very nicely in the resume. And that is why for sure, they got more than three interviews. Seriously, three job offers three interviews for sure. If the resume is good, the resume is outstanding, then certainly you will be called in for an interview.

Clearly, now, they might have said something that is so outstanding in the interview, that it went to that next step, which is to make an offer, it went to an offer level. Now before the offer level, there is also something else that might have happened, which is they might have checked references. They may have they might not have I don’t know. But you get the idea. This is the process. This is how it works everywhere. So a resume, incredible resume, awesome interview, and an incredible offer something like that. Right. That’s the sequence. Now, let’s take this for a second. And let’s break this. And this applies to you. Also, if you’re in a business right now applies to pretty much everything that we are in. So what is the resume? Let’s look at the resume for a second resume is where you are telling people or you’re telling people to no you just to know you have done all these things. I have done it this way.

And I’m relevant. Good. I have experienced the know-how. So you’re Tet, you’re letting people know who you are. Now when you go in the interview, if you have done a good job in letting people know who you are, then when you go to the interview, the chances are they already like you unless you go there and mess it up. So for example, I’m letting you know who I am. When we meet the chances are you like me unless when we meet when we talk, I appear. I do something silly and I mess up the conversation. I disrespect you or I say something to you that is completely out of line. Then of course you’ll hate me. Forget about disliking me you would hate me right input. So if I’ve done the knowing part, right or, or, you know, letting you know part right, then the chances of you liking me go up. Now, if you end up like me, there are chances. Oh, if the interview went well, right, and just moves to a situation where there is an offer, that means there is trust. So how did this trust happen? Because there is a reference check. So this is how you break it into three parts.

So, no, like trust. That said, That’s the secret. People have to know you. People have to like you before they trust you. With anything simple formula. Let’s apply this formula to business. Are you letting people know what you do? How do you do? Why do you do it when you do? You are telling yourself about your business? Are you providing information to people or prospects or leads? And are you sharing your life experiences with them? She likes sharing life experiences will, which will make people like her and build trust in her. With testimonials with social proof, simple three-step formula. You let them know what you do. You share your life experiences with them. So they like you. And as they look at your testimonials and social proof, they will trust you. And they’ll do business with you. Same thing with a job. You let people know, through a resume through your LinkedIn posts, whatever, a lot of so many different places where you can let people know who you are. And what you do. They will know what your chances are, they will interview you, they will like you, and they will do some reference checks.

They will trust you based on those references, and they’ll make an offer. That’s how you build a career. Okay, I wanted to put this no-like trust formula in front of you. This applies primarily to my life and my business. This is everywhere. I do not know I’ve never met anybody or have not done any business where they do not know me, not like me. It’s hard, doesn’t work doesn’t happen. And primarily this podcast I started was to build this trust. Not necessarily anything will come out of it or it’s not like there is any business angle on this. But you get the idea. At least I wanted people to know who I am. And like me through this, and build the trust so that if I’m sharing any concepts and ideas, strategies and techniques, they will take that in and they’ll apply and then they apply they will produce results simply. Hopefully, this is helpful.

I just wanted to extend the thought from yesterday. I think I did. I’ll stop here. I’ll let you process this. And before you know it, I’ll be with you as early as tomorrow. Keep Listening