If Success Is NOT Guaranteed: Why Work So Hard?

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Happy Monday morning to you. Welcome back to Success with Srini. On the podcast today, I’m answering a question that has been in my inbox for a long time. I did not answer the question, because I thought it was a little bit sarcastic. But as I was debating, I was thinking about it. I kept on reading and kept on opening the email, I realized maybe there is some depth to this question. So I’m giving my full absolute trust to whoever is asking this question. I think they’re asking it from a good place. So the question is really why I keep on listening, keep on listening to a podcast, and all that. If success is not guaranteed, why work so hard for it? Oh, my God, it’s interesting, you know, now you know why I was not kind of talking about it on the podcast, or at least I’ve waited for this long.

Here is the truth. You will never get everything that you desire. In fact, you most of the things that you’re working towards today, you’ll not get them. Nobody does. That’s the truth. It’s a hard truth to swallow. But that is the truth. But the question is very legitimate at least I’m that’s how I’m looking at it. You know, why work this hard? If there are no guarantees, this is so hard. And if you are a listener of this podcast, you might have heard this, me saying multiple times here, people, you know, the system our mind works on, there is a reward mechanism like there isn’t a precision seeking reward. All that is inbuilt into our brain. So when we see that you’re putting more effort into something, and we’re not getting a result, we tend to give up. And I talked about this concept in the context of weight loss multiple times on the podcast. So anything for that matter, you’re taking up a new job, you’re starting a new business, you’re not getting the returns, or returns are not higher than the effort that you’re putting in, then obviously, people quit. So there is truth to this question, you know, why put in effort when there’s nothing is guaranteed? Well, you can’t get everything that you’re working for. And whatever you’re desiring, we get things that we deserve, to a large extent, but we cannot get that which we desire. And that’s the graph. That’s the architecture of life. But there’s also one other element to this, which is the fun in life, or the excitement in life is only when you pursue things, knowing that you may not get them, or thinking that will get them. That’s the right way to put it. Eventually, what will happen, you do not know but you pursue it as if you’re going to get them. So the discussion is, you should be deriving pleasure in the pursuit, not in the possession of whatever that you are seeking. So today, whatever I possess, I don’t have any pleasure in that.

Seriously, I’ll tell you this laptop, I’m recording the podcast. Five years ago, I waited for a month to get this podcast, this was in 2017 I believe. And I was like, three days into getting this laptop, I had absolutely no pleasure anymore. It was just like a laptop. But before while I was waiting for 30 days, I was telling everyone or you know waiting for this top of the line, laptop, the screen, detaches, it can turn into a tablet, I mean, all kinds of stuff, the minute I had it in my hands 24 hours later, 72 hours later, it just something that is there around me that said it’s not I have no pride in possessing it, I have no other any big emotion attached to it. None. It’s doing its job. That’s all there is to this. But the duration, the pursuit of like three months waiting for this laptop, while thinking about it. And then after placing the order waiting for a month back in 2017. That was incredible. That feeling was incredible. So the case in point is you got to pursue you take pleasure in that pursuit, whatever that is. So whatever the goals you have set for yourself, whatever outcomes you’re seeking from anything and everything that you’re doing, you take pleasure from it. And I have given multiple examples here, including one of the big pursuits I had which was to go climb Everest. I’ll tell you, no success with that.

In terms of nothing seriously talk about the pardon. The journey was amazing and a year and a half completely out of doing anything and totally giving my time at Fordham soulfully willfully and completely engaged in trying to accomplish the goal but the journey was amazing. There is no nothing on the SATCOM that took place that that journey, the pursuit was amazing. So the privilege that we humans are given is the ability to pursue something. And the awareness also, to pursue that thing with pleasure. That’s the awareness sport. So yeah, no, nothing is guaranteed. Honestly, you know, I can’t even guarantee the next minute. I can’t even guarantee I’m recording this podcast. By the time this goes live, I’ll be around. Can’t guarantee anything. But how boring life is if you know exactly what’s going to happen tomorrow or the next moment is gonna be boring. And that’s the beauty of this universe is you will never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. And you will not know the sad part is even after we are gone from here, we do not know we left. Oh, that’s even hard. I don’t know how to even comprehend that.

Okay, so find your own leisure, and pursue whatever you want. What if you get them? What if you like them after you get them? Whatever you don’t treat whatever you get, like the way I treat this laptop these days. In fact, I treat everything like that around these days, like okay, I have no nothing, no emotion for any of these material possessions as the standard right now. But what if, you get whatever you are after? How will that change your life? Think about it. Take pleasure in the pursuit. Okay, that’s all. Have a wonderful Monday. Now you start your week in a great way. I will stop here and I’ll catch up with you as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Why You Should Practice the Golden Rule: Give First, Receive Later

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On the podcast today, I’m sharing a very fundamental principle of success, which was told to me many, many years ago, I wish I would have known this the minute I was born, which I did not obviously, but along the way, and I started to understand the world. And I started discovering people, I started exploring myself. And during the time I found this insight, this insight is going to change your game, regardless of whatever game you’re playing. And this has to do with how to get whatever you want. Anything that you set your mind to, you can get. And we’re not talking about the law of attraction, the law of attraction plays its own role. It has a time and space for a different day, we’ll discuss that. But there is fundamentally something today that you can do. And you can get whatever you want. And dispensable was, was a hard-learned principle. But today, I use this principle in a principled way. And I’ll tell you how I do this. So if you ever wanted something, and you worked very, very hard for it, you really poured your heart blood, sweat, and tears, and it’s not happening for you. It’s not happening, you tried everything, every strategy, every technique, every concept idea, you took all kinds of help, but still, it’s not happening, then there’s something that you’re not doing, which is you should give that away that which you are seeking. Whatever that is that you want, you first should give it away. Now, this principle, philosophically, is a very, very powerful principle.

Say, let’s say you want love, but you have been getting a lot of rejection. You want people to love you, or people around you, to appreciate you and acknowledge you. The first thing you have to do is to love them, acknowledge them, and give them whatever they want, if you want something in return, now, why should you give something? And what’s the guarantee that you’ll get back something in return? Well, it turns out that reciprocity is one of the core innate traits of humans. We want to reciprocate the gifts we receive, we reciprocate the love we receive, we reciprocate the invitations, we receive it just an innate thing with us, humans. This fundamental thing has been exploited in marketing and sales, diplomacy, politics, everywhere, relationships everywhere, and this has been exploited. And now social psychologists have a lot of research on this. And now this is documented proof. It’s now with this new understanding of how this works with this Information Age internet playing its role and social media playing its role, this technique is being used and used and used and everybody knows this. And if you do not know what this says, what the power of reciprocity is, and how this works, then I think you really need to catch up, honestly, you need to catch up.

Now, in sales and marketing, we already know the use of reciprocity. And this has been done by the first book that I ever read that really talked about this principle was the book by Robert Cialdini, Dr. Robert Cialdini, wrote the book Influence The Psychology of Persuasion, he gave multiple examples, of the Law of Reciprocity playing out, for example, the lexicon, the Krishna consciousness, people used to show up on the airports and used to give flowers to people and in exchange, they would end up people who would end up giving money because they don’t have a flower to give them back. And the glue that organization using this technique, and he talks about, you know, getting dollars in mail, or stamps in the mail, for that matter stamps, you might have received name labels or address labels in mail. And in exchange, they want you to pay some money and you keep on getting these Address Labels, eventually, you’ll end up giving something under them. And this will not only be in sales and marketing everywhere, wherever so you randomly give a gift to people. That is a possibility that you will some of them will refund give back gifts to you. I tried this for a long time. I used to give away books on my radio shows in my seminars, and workshops. Not that I was expecting anything a bit dumb, but just that my way of really getting into the houses of people. I would randomly buy books, read books, and then I give books away to people and when I give the books away to them.

My goal is every time they look at anybody, you know, you get a book from me and you have the book in your house. Usually, you will never really trash the book away or give it away, you know, because the book is it has an element of knowledge, and wisdom to it. And this is not my book, I bought this book from outside, but then you will keep you will retain the book. And every time you read the book or your eyes Hall on the book, you feel okay. Srini gave this book to me. That was my only goal was to just get that mind space in your brain. That’s it. That’s it that one moment you say, oh, Srini give that book to me. I never had it actually, I only had maybe one or two incidents where somebody at my seminar walked up to me, and gifted me a book, or two times it has happened to me. But I know that whoever has received a book from me or something from me, they have somewhere within that art, I got this, I have to give something back. Now if that has not happened, that means have not done the job, right? So I should be sending more doing more like books and all that. I’ll tell you one amazing thing of reciprocity that plays out with this podcast, which is people listen to the podcast every day like some people do.

Not everyone, eventually there comes a point. They say oh, I want to go meet Srini happen. numerous emails have gotten through, I want to meet you, whoever you are, I want to meet you. Some people who I do not know never met I got a message the other day from Singapore, saying Sydney, I look forward to meeting you one day because I listen to you all the time. So there is they just want to feel that way. It’s not that need that or they need that. But somehow that is the thing. And there’s also one more element of reciprocity, which is the listen to it. So many times happened with a few that like, I want to talk to you can I pay you? And I’m like, now you don’t need to just ask me a question. I’ll just respond back to you now, I want to talk to you, you know, can I pay you tomorrow they want to pay. So even though this is not that way, this podcast is not there is no way on this podcast, I say hey, go schedule a consultation, talk to me none. Certainly, I don’t have time for that. But now to a point where I don’t even see the value in it. I think if podcasts like this one way, getting questions from you, and communicating back to you is probably the best use of your time and my time you get the result. And this is the intent, that’s the core intent. So coming back to the point you’ve got to give before you expect to receive and when you do that, you literally can explode your success back in the day in sales, specifically in sales, that is a technique this technique has been used where give once and receive receive receive, right, you want revenues in business, you give once to give something away for free, and you keep on receiving, receive, receive. And then in the current times, as technology has evolved, understanding has evolved.

And now the way people buy has evolved. Back in the day, people would be scared, to give their email addresses away to someone. And today people are literally, you know, doing everything online. Literally. It’s just funny how, and in a good way.

It’s interesting how we have all evolved. And now with this newfound incredible technology and awareness. Now it’s all about giving and receiving, give, give, give and receive. And when you do give, give, give and receive that one received you get is going to makeup, it’s exponential. So back in the day, it was just given once and receive, receives, receives. And now it just gives give, receive only once but that one thing that you receive is going to make up for years and years and years of you know profits. It’s amazing. This principle is used now extensively in sales. But let’s talk about philosophically where this applies or practically where this applies in real life. Let’s talk about that. In my personal life. You see when you express kindness when you help people like you show kindness you show you give you provide help. That is genuinely appreciated. There is just how we humans are. And I’ve seen this also being done the wrong way. Let me talk about that. See, when you do something for someone with an expectation. You’re doing something with an expectation. Then the chances are maybe your expectations will be met. Who knows they may be better than what if they’re not met. You’re an expert expectation. You’re doing something for someone and that expectation is not met. Then you will feel the resentment rejection some anger, frustration, I see that happen, happening with many people that I interact with, you know, doing something, they’re not getting a response, that not getting the acknowledgment that not getting something in return, they get angry, they get frustrated. Now, you do the same thing. But you do not expect anything in return.

Now, anything beyond that point is a bonus. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake, or whatever that is. Right. So the question is, what’s the difference between somebody who is doing something, expecting something from people, and somebody doing something? without expecting anything from people? What’s the difference? Well, turns out that there’s only one thing that you need that is called empathy. I talked about this just a few days ago, when you are working people, and I’ve said this here multiple times, which is, you know, your success, whatever field you’re in, right now, whatever profession you’re in, your success is always with through and for people. That’s all there is, you can’t do this single-handedly singularly. If you think that your self made, you’re made by yourself alone. Now, so many people have contributed towards your success. You haven’t gotten here, just by your own virtues, of course, you know, their hard work that’s given, but then a lot of people have put in a lot of stuff that you did not have into you, for you to become whoever you are today. That’s the truth. Given that it’s true, there has to be an element of empathy. So you do something for someone, something for someone for free, and you have an expectation that they will do something back for you, then they do not, then you now have the pain. But you do something for someone without expecting, and they do something for you and reckon at their, on their own timeline with their own intent, then it’s a bonus, you say, when you are in need of something, and you go and help someone, that is kindness, you are in need. But if you are nice to someone at the time you are going and helping someone which means it is seen as kindness. They do not know they think you’re helping them but you know deep within you that you need something within and you need that precision you need that act you need, you know, some completeness to some of your feelings. So you exhibit kindness. But when they need something, and you don’t have time, you don’t have you’re busy or doing whatever, but they need something, then you step in, but you take some time out and do it for them. That is that is help. You’re helping somebody in need. You don’t need to do it, but you’re doing it because you have recognized that the other person has a need for it, and you’re helping. But when you go out and help, and because you will need to do it. If they really don’t, then that’s also good. But that is seen as kindness. I want to create, I want to illustrate these nuances to you so that you can see, you know, where your mind is when you are engaging in these acts. Regardless, a long time ago, I heard this somebody say I think I read it somewhere. I don’t know who said this. I knew but I forgot. You know, when you do not have to give in your heart, then you have the worst kind of heart trouble. People have heart troubles. But the kind of trouble that you do not want to have is a lack of giving in your heart. That’s the worst kind of horrible to have. So here’s the message. Just give whatever you are expecting. But don’t expect it if you get it great. If we don’t get keep on giving to a point where they are now compelled to give something back. And when they do give, then it’s going to be so big that it’s going to completely undo all your years and months or decades of waiting. Not that you’re doing for that. But that’s the bonus.

Okay, I’ll stop here. Hopefully, this is helpful. Hopefully, this gives a perspective to you. If it is, let me know. And before you know it, I’ll be here with you as early as tomorrow. Keep listening.

How To Succeed In Silicon Valley: 3 Secrets You Need To Know

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If you live in Silicon Valley, California, then today’s podcast episode is for you. Over 50% of the podcast listeners, people who are subscribed and who listen to this podcast are from Silicon Valley from the Bay Area. And all of them, most of them are radio listeners that listen to my radio shows. This is a question, but this was never presented to me, like a question, but I kind of took it out from a series of conversations. What does it take for you to succeed in Silicon Valley? And different answers to this question at different times? If you would ask me this question, a year from now, I may have a different answer. If you would have asked me this question. 10 years ago, I would have had for sure a different answer. And I know this because even my answer kept on changing when I was asking myself from the outside, it looks very easy. And from inside, for somebody who is really playing the game, this is there are a lot of complexities and a lot of things that one has to maneuver if not, Master.

Now, let’s for a second assume that you are not in Silicon Valley. And you don’t have a question on how to succeed in Silicon Valley. Well, the principles do apply doesn’t matter whether you live in Silicon Valley or not. So I have made many references to Silicon Valley. And one of the references I made was three dominating references here three dominating comments. One is that you need to be in the top 1% of 1%. To live, work, and exist, live work, and exist in Silicon Valley. Exist means you know when you’re not working. And when you’re not really living. But you still are fighting to survive somehow. That’s what I mean when I say exist. And you know that when you fight when you hustle it through, you scramble yourself during the time when you don’t have work, you would have any opportunity, you know that if you stay longer than you will make it and you’ll make up for everything that you lost. That’s what Silicon Valley is. So top 1% or 1%, you’re here which means your top 1% Doesn’t matter. What your education is, doesn’t matter whether you’re a male, or female, whatever way you want, you identify yourself, doesn’t matter whether you have any financial, economic, or educational background, or you do not don’t matter how you came here, but you are here, then you are in top 1% or 1%. I also made a statement here that if it doesn’t matter what you do, there are many professionals in Silicon Valley, in the Bay Area, doesn’t matter what you do. But as long as you’re living, working, and existing here, you are a techie.

This was another statement I made on a radio show, you are a techie, you, you are listening to technology, you are seeing big, big companies as you’re driving on the freeways here. So you are a techie. And that’s how I look at you. Because you are having conversations that are unique and different than anybody else living on the other side of the Earth, or, for that matter. On the other side of the country, I also made one more statement that now has gone viral and vital. I should say that or not? But in the 50-mile radius from where you live, there are over 50 Nobel Prize winners in the 50-mile radius from where you live. It’s crazy. What kind of knowledge, what kind of wisdom, what kind of enlightenment exists in the valley? So there’s a lot that’s happening. There’s a lot that’s going on here. And for anybody to succeed, you need to have an eye for it. skills, talents, all those are given that’s why you are here. So there is nothing you should think about and demotivate yourself. Now, that said, over the years, I have gone through many different analogies of what it takes to succeed in Silicon Valley.

And today, at the time of the recording of this podcast, I have three things that I know for sure that you need to have to succeed in anybody three things and it doesn’t matter. Again, no specific industry or any of that. Just three things The first is, in fact, three hours. Let’s say that that way, three hours, three hours of Silicon Valley, okay? The first art is a resume, your resume, things that you do things that you have accomplished, and things that make you stand out. Things that are unique to you things that really speak about you to people who do not know you. Things that represent truly who you are to an outside world that has no time to connect with you talk to you or understand you. Things that make you shine. That’s the resume. Now when I say resume, I’m not talking about a one-page printout or two-page printout. That’s not what a resume means. A resume means everything that you do that otherwise can be consumed by somebody else, while you’re not doing it. For example, you make some posts on Facebook, you make some posts on LinkedIn, you write a blog post, whatever you do on social media on the media, doesn’t matter. And you go back, you go to sleep.

Now while you’re sleeping, this is doing its magic. This is working on your behalf. That’s what I mean by a resume. Well, by resume I also mean your skills, your talents, your capabilities, your strengths, everything that defines who you are everything that makes up your constitution, your existence, your job is to keep on improving the resume, your job is to keep on applying those skills over and over again and trying to see are there any cracks? Are there any gaps? What can I do to improve those skills? What Skills Should I bring in to strengthen to enhance my resume, you need to be constantly working on the resume and I’ll go I’ll die saying this. But I see people taking the resume for granted. You need to work on your resume on a daily basis. Impeccable people, incredible people who do some incredible things in the Valley have incredible resumes. writing resumes not English writing, the resume is not opening up the word file and typing things in. That’s not what I mean by a resume means acting upon things that you know that you need to do for you to get to that level where you want to get to that only you know, nobody else knows. So that’s the first part. The second arm is relationships, relationships, I didn’t say relationship. I said relationships, plural. Your relationship with yourself is the single biggest thing that’s going to set you apart and create success for you. Have you handled stress how do you handle anxiety, overwhelm, frustration, chaos, and any and every kind of thing that’s going to challenge your beliefs, your convictions, and your emotions?

How do you handle what’s going to set you apart to make you the best in your relationship with people in your profession? What kind of relationships do you have, how do you define those relationships are your friend in need your friend in deed, and it means like a contract deed not indeed deed, or you or you are not seeing your relationships define the connections. And there’s a lot of wealth in those connections. Now, apart from all those relationships, there is one relationship that really stands out which is your relationship with your spouse or your partner or your relationship in the house inside the house could be your parents, your spouse, your children, or whoever your siblings over life with you. What is that relationship? See, I can tell you this for sure. And so again, this is not mine, I read it somewhere no outside success can make up for the failure at home. If you don’t have good relationships at home then doesn’t matter how successful you become outside.

So, if I have to rate I would rate relationships higher than the resume. Okay. Let’s see. Okay, so in the finally the last one, the last one is the third odd Third up for success in Silicon Valley is real estate. When I say real estate, I mean investments, and there’s no better investment than real estate in Silicon Valley people tell me about all the sparks and, and everything. And now but now given where we are, and at the time of this recording this podcast recording, we are sure the market is slowing down. And it’s the end of the year, it’s going to slow down even more holiday syrup. In a week’s time, we’ll have Halloween, I, you know, listen, it doesn’t matter. The bottom line is if you’re not in real estate, you know that you’re not in real estate, you don’t own a house, and you don’t have investments. So then your financial situation is challenging. If you have a house, and that you had for a while, let’s say, then your financial situation is reasonably stable. There could be other things going on. So sucks. If you measure success through money, then I highly suggest that get into real estate-owned real estate. And it’s going to set you free, I promise you. And I see that happen over and over again across anybody that I come across. Okay. Those are the three Rs. You need to do resumes, relationships, resume, relationships, and real estate.

Hopefully, this is helpful. Let me know if it is okay. I’ll tell you something very interesting. As I wrap this up, if you’re taking notes, write those three things down resume relationship, real estate, 10 years from now, 15 years from now. I’m not sure if I’ll be around. But listen, go back and read, you’ll see as I’m recording the podcast, because hopefully, the sound comes you’ll see that these are the pages of notes that have been taken over the years. And I have them with me. And some of these notes are also now scanned and are on my hard drive. But some I have in the physical shape here, and some are on the notebooks. I take notes. So take these three things as a note today. Those are my relationships in real estate 1015 years from now, come back and open up your notebook and see and this will remind you that Yeah, you heard the podcast and took notes. And I promise you there are two emotions that will come out of it. One is that I wish I would have listened to Srini what said, or I listened to Srini see where I am. I just happened to be here but I took notes and acted upon them. I’m glad I did. And my life changed for good. These are two emotions. The third emotion. She told me to buy real estate and investment real estate relationships and I built up a resume I did all three. I failed. Not gonna happen. Not in Silicon Valley.

Okay, that’s the homework for you. I’m done. I don’t want to add anything more to this. Okay, I’ll leave it there. I’ll leave you there for a Saturday. This is good. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Stay tuned.