How Changing This ONE THING Can Change EVERYTHING In Your Life

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Wednesday morning to you on the podcast today I’m again answering your question. This question has been in my inbox for a very, very long time. And last night last evening on my radio show, I was saying this, I said, I have so many questions to catch up with. But because this has been there for a long time, I thought I should record this. I’m gonna answer this question. Interestingly, this question is in line with what I did and what I talked about, on my radio show last evening, I said, there’s one thing that you can change in your life and everything will change. So this question is, what can I change? Trini? Everything that will change everything? That is the question. It’s a long question. But essentially, what this gentleman is telling me is that they tried everything. And I keep listening to your radio shows and use keep saying all the time, that by simply changing one thing, everything in your life will change. I don’t know what to change, I’m frustrated with the process. And please help me.

Okay, so that’s the gist of the question. I’m paraphrasing it, but it’s a long email. And I was not knowing this question I did the radio show yesterday, last evening, just like that. And that saw from last evening is so appropriate to this to this question. Okay. I’ve done many podcast episodes here talking about the things that you can change. That change can not only fix the problem that you have got going right now but can completely change your life. I’ve seen that happen. I’ve seen that happen that you change one variable, only in everything that is happening in their life. And magically you haven’t completed a new opening in your mind. And you feel that freshness in you see that happened with multiple people. Now, if I have to pick one thing, just one thing. And I’ll do that because I tried everything, I read everything I consulted with everyone, I have given the time, the effort, everything, and nothing are happening, then 99% of the time, okay, nine out of 10 times. The only thing that you need to change that I will change in myself is the story that I’m telling. The problem is with the story. Everything that you are trying to achieve in life, is your story. That is interrupting the outcome. You’re putting the effort, you’re putting whatever it takes, you’re not getting there, because the story is interrupting your story has your kids your story your past your story your spouse, your income, everything that’s happening in your mind, the play The interplay, and that interplay stopping you from getting to your outcome. And I talked about this last evening, I said it’s the focus, scattered thinking you eliminate that you magically arrive at the outcome that you’re seeking. Okay. Now, a story has many elements to it. I want to highlight two or three quickly here. The story is something that you tell yourself every day, most of the time people say things like why these things are happening with me why me? I’ve done everything right? How come I’m not getting that which others are getting? How come others are putting in less effort and getting there? How come I’m struggling through this? So this is the talk. And I said that is the self-talk that will get you to your outcome. But you got to understand the story. Now to understand the story. Well, first of all, you have agreed that your story has to change. And the way you think is not on help anymore. And that you’re thinking whatever your thinking is, it is what it is and has not gotten you results. And no matter how hard you’re trying, it’s not getting you there.

So first, you have to come to an agreement, that story has to change. Now, once you agree with that, what has to change within the story because the story could be anything right? What specifically do you have to change to get to the outcome? The first and foremost thing is your identity. The way you wake up in the morning, you wake up in the morning saying oh okay, I’m a student. I’m a software engineer, or I’m a QA engineer, or I am a homemaker. I’m a wife, I’m a husband. So you wake up with that identity. That identity in itself sets the pace and the momentum for the day. That has to change. This is what we say about fixed identity. So when you wake up tomorrow morning, try to Take on somebody else’s identity. What if your, you know, favorite, you know, movie star, they wake up in the morning, let’s say, or your favorite singer or your favorite someone, a relative, or if somebody who you look up to, and who you think about, you wake up in their shoes. And some time ago, I talked about this also, it’s called perceptional. position shift. So perceptional in your mind, you’re changing your position or taking their role. And if you woke up in their shoes, how would they react to your situation? Are they wake up in your shoes? How would they react to everything’s happening in your life, so you wake up in their shoe, and see how they’re gonna react? I used to do this with my teachers, I started. And the first time I got exposed to this concept was when I was in 12th grade. And I tried doing this, I said, I wake up in my teacher’s shoe to look into this, how they’re thinking, not that I could solve the problem. But it’s interesting to think like them kind of owning up to their role, you wake up in their role and see how this works. Interesting. So you got to drop the fixed identity and take on a different identity. That’s the first part, the first modification of the story. When you do that, it opens up the mind, very simply. And that also means that you are letting go of that which you’re holding on to. So step one, step two, is your vision. It’s funny how people go to top universities, get the best education, and acquire all that skill, all talent, they really bring the best out of themselves as a result of going to all these higher institutions and getting the knowledge and getting the education. But then they miss out on a very basic elemental thing, which is passing, by brilliance without noticing.

So today, as you will move on with the proceedings of the day, I want you to spot brilliance, you meet people, you talk to people, you will interact with your teachers, you’ll interact with your bosses, your relatives, whoever you talk to friends today, I want you to think in your mind as you’re talking to them. Can I see some brilliance in them, this individual, some brilliance, whatever time you’re spending with them five minutes, 10 minutes an hour, Spot brilliance, it’s there. It’s visible if you think like that. And finding brilliants and others will help you build a better story of yourself. Your Own Story gets modified, gets the boost, amazing. The third one, in story modification or recreation, is ordered. Most of the time we have been trained, and the way we were raised is to live by conditioned reflexes to be even trained, and we have been trained to unconditionally surrender to things whether to a higher power or whatever. So there is a certain level of neurosis, a compulsive neurosis, we have been told to follow too much of order, which is good, because all that means that we stay disciplined, but sometimes think like, oh, I need to wake up at 730 sharp and I need to leave home exactly at 810. If not, I will miss out. I need to be exactly 956 or 856 in the office, something like that. So there is this deep predictability that people build into their existence that really takes them away from what they’re trying to achieve. It makes them more robotic. And every part of their existence start starts to kind of mimic so you really don’t enjoy the process. What I want you to do instead is if I modify some variables in this the idea is to modify the variable to create happiness. Because too much order or too much compulsive neurosis will take you away from your happiness and at the end of the day, this is a happiness game. And your job is to create sustained happiness and I made a point on this also on my show yesterday. So inner happiness is the cure. So now the discussion is about what is happiness. In yesterday’s podcast, I talked about this. I made a point I said happiness is wealth versus Health is happiness. I made a point in yesterday’s podcast, I want you to listen to that. So happiness is not getting what you want.

Happiness is wanting what you get. This is a quote I read many, many years ago, I don’t know who said this. But it’s an incredible quote, happiness is not getting what you want. Instead, happiness is wanting what you get. These are the three things I would modify. So if you want to change, you know, one thing that will change everything, then this, change the story, modify these three elements in your story, and see what happens. Now, there are many more elements to story modification. And I just wanted to keep it to three today. Because these three have given me the most outcome. When I was modifying my story, and I continue to this is not a one-time thing you will need to keep on modifying the story as and when it’s needed. And guess what, given the wave, you’re evolving by the day, people are telling the reading books, people are telling me they’re watching more productive, you know, documentaries, that watching movies that really bring the best out of them. So every time you engage in an activity that raises your soul, your is a changed individual, you’re not the same. I’m not the same as I was yesterday, I’m different today this morning. So you change and has because you’re changing.

That is what your story will also keep on changing. Self-improvement is not a one-time task. And that is why this podcast happens every day. I Spike to plug myself into this. Okay, that’s all I hope I answered your question. If not, please let me know. Okay, that’s all for now. You take care of yourself, and I’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll take up one more exciting question about podcasts. This is the second question I want on my list that has been around for a long time. I’m gonna answer that on tomorrow’s podcast. So that’s all for now. Take care. Bye now.

Happiness in Wealth Or Wealth In Happiness??

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back, happy Tuesday morning to you on the podcast. Today we are talking money. If you have conflicting thoughts, ideas, beliefs, and values when it comes to money, then I want you to stay with me. We are talking about something serious here. today’s podcast episode is not a question from anyone. By the way, I’m getting a lot of questions. And I’m finding and pacing myself to answer your questions. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for believing in me. And I will get to those questions. If your question has not been answered yet, then I’m promising. I will get to it. It’s in my queue. I get to it. Sometimes I do record some questions. In fact, I recently recorded a few episodes. But as things happen, as events are happening in my life, I defer those podcast episodes. And I record the most important event that just recently happened that I experienced so that the podcast stays contextual. So today’s podcast episode is an event that happened yesterday. And this is the backstory.

So I was with a friend of mine, we were at a tea place having tea. But we were talking about money, income investments, carrier carriers, and children, all a variety of topics. And the owner of the restaurant walks up to us. And we get into a three-way conversation with him. And at some point, this owner of this restaurant, he says he’s a young man, he says two things, he says I’m starting a new restaurant, a bigger better place. So that I can cook things that I cannot cook here because this kitchen is restricted. And then he says I will run both the places. And my friend was advising him he was telling him what he should do, how he should negotiate the deal, how to structure how he should pursue the lease, and all that. And I was sitting there silently observing a young man trying to figure this, I have been there myself and have gone through this process where I kept quitting one after the other business says Now, multiple businesses, I started multiple times I quit, only to find myself back to the first one, which I still do, which is interesting that you go around the world looking for whatever you want to have only to find it in your backyard. It’s interesting. So I was sitting there watching my friend and owner of this place interact. And at the end, after we were done, I kind of provided a synopsis I kind of give my read of the situation I said, here’s the problem. Any time somebody is unhappy with what they’re doing. And every one of us, we want to improve our situation, we want to get out of the pain, whatever we are in right now, whatever suffering we have, we want to all of us. And that is why we have advanced as a civilization we have come this far because we’re always looking for ways and means to get out and get into something that helps us. So I appreciate this young man’s courage to go start something new. So I’ll give it to him. What I said, explained, I said I see two problems.

One is that he somehow believes in his mind that he can improve the second opportunity in a much better way in a much bigger way he can do something bigger. And this in itself this opportunity, which by the way is also new, does that inherently have what he thinks it should have? And he’s limited. He can’t create a bigger kitchen he can’t serve. Or he cannot cook a bigger menu and all that which is good, which I understand. But there are so many revenue models and I sit in the restaurant and look at what they’re doing. I see an additional 10 or 15 different revenue streams that can be added to what they already are doing that any business has multiple sleeping revenue streams. And as an owner, as an entrepreneur, your job is to identify what are the different revenue streams that are hidden in this opportunity, which no more is an opportunity because it’s a job you know, you run a restaurant for 368 months it becomes a job. It’s not an opportunity, but very rare. early. That’s why you need an entrepreneurial mindset to see opportunities in the stuff that you do on a daily basis. And that’s what separates a business owner from an entrepreneur, entrepreneurs are always thinking they’re creative, and they’re constantly engaged in possibilities, for business owners. Yes, you know, they are, I need to open the business, I need to run the business, I need to generate the income at the end of the day. And I’ll just follow the least path of resistance, which is, everything is working. Let me work the cash register.

Now, again, this is not a proper definition of a business owner. But in this context, somebody who owns a restaurant runs the restaurant. Makes sense. Now this example applies. So the second point this individual makes this owner makes is I will run both places. And this is where I was shocked. See, you’re starting something, you’re just new to something. Somehow you’re facing some resistance, some intellectual differences in the way that you think you should run the place, and you should create the place and there are restrictions on the ground on the field. So you feel challenged, you feel constrained, and you want to exit the situation. But you’re not truly excited, you want to have whatever you created on the side. And you also want to go and create something big on the other side. That’s where I had a problem. See, most of the time we underestimate what we can do. And this weekend, in fact, I underestimated what I was doing. Somehow, I made up my mind that I should be able to move an entire house. So I moved this weekend and ended up moving my entire house. And I did not hire any movers. And I did not hire any packers, I packed everything. And I rented a U haul. And I moved. I’ll tell you why I did that maybe in a different podcast episode, I’ll tell you why. What was the mindset behind it, my mindset was I was trying to sci-fi still have that which I had nearly 25 years ago within me, it was a self-discovery exercise, it was my me kind of competing with my previous version, my previous self? So I was trying to see if I can pack my stuff, can move, get it rock, move everything to a new location, and completely clean the old location, and I did everything. Of course, my son helped and all that, but he’s a small kid. So not a lot of help just means that set, and wife also to bend here and there, but just say, nobody else from outside. And the majority of me doing that. So I was thinking, you know, I underestimated the effort, and also overestimated my capacity and my skill. And I was really, really past time I was like gone. I mean moving all the stuff to a new location, cleaning your location, it was just a mess. People do this all the time. And I’m, I’m telling you, as much as I know this, I somehow sometimes misunderstand myself, I can’t read myself, what I read in others.

See, when you asked me a question, I can see your situation, because I’m emotionally detached from you, I looking into my own situation and am emotionally attached. So I have difficulty processing this. And likewise, and that is the reason why the majority of the successful people who you see coaches, mentors, whoever, whichever field you know, super performance in every field, they have coaches and mentors guiding them, they can’t see we all of us humans by default, we have our own dark spots. We are myopic, we are blindsided by our own things events. So this individual is overestimating himself. And a long time ago, many, many months ago on this podcast, I made a point. In one of the episodes I said, every time you try to replicate success, you unknowingly will also replicate the failures. Very rarely, you can replicate success. Very rarely you can undo or not do the same mistakes. The second time around, very rarely it happens. And now you have to travel commute, and you’re effectively dividing your capabilities into half goes into the new venture. Half goes into the old one. It just comes applicated I would never, this is my thing, I would I see business opportunities every day. I guide entrepreneurs, in meetings, and I’ll tell you, my suggestion has been, and will continue to be, start one thing, stay with it. And learn everything humanly possible systemize it, try to replicate yourself with the system, hire the people who will operate inside the system, and you check out. If you want to see you can minimize your engagement and your time with what you’re doing. But the responsibility is still with you.

Going back to a quick note on this, this individual, you see, in your 20s and 30s, even in 40s, there is a sense of urgency to make money, which I highly suggest you are a teenager listening to this right now, go figure out a way to make money. I’m very vocal about this, I think every kid should learn how to make money. And money values are important. And they need to be instilled very, very early by the parents and should be applied very early by the children. Some people are raised without understanding money values, and I am one such individual because that was not a dominant value. In the house, the house struggled, we struggled. But it was not something about never having a discussion about investing never a discussion about growing money. None. Everything on money is an acquired value for me. And because it’s an acquired value, it comes at a cost. And that cost. Sometimes you have to pay over a long period of time. And because it is an acquired value, it could be challenged and it could be shifted very easily by your core values, it’s very difficult to take an acquired value and turn that into a core value, it involves a tremendous amount of effort and takes time it takes a lot of diligence doesn’t happen. You just can’t wake up in the morning and say I’m going to start a business and I’m going to become successful doesn’t happen. Your employee mindset, your past, lack of money, mindset, your struggles, all those things will override any thought. Any positive thought you are trying to create for yourself when it comes to money happens every day. That’s why people go bankrupt. That’s why people lose money. That’s why people can never get ahead. Say I don’t know who you listen to or what you’re listening to. Very rarely do people succeed. It’s hard, it’s really, really hard. It needs a lot to succeed. And that’s also true in your job too. So whatever you have taken up, it takes a lot of effort to succeed, and not easy.

So this young man’s desire to make money is something as I said, everybody should, and he’s also trying to do it. But then he’s trying to do it too quickly and too fast. It may work, it may not work, and oftentimes it doesn’t work takes time. Coming back to my discussion about happiness. When it comes to money. At the end of the day, you’re trying to make money because you want to become happy. And that’s all the discussion I was having with my friend early on before. Before this happened. See, I have friends on both sides, I have friends who tell me that money is nothing. And I have people telling me I have money is something that you need to give your, your time attention and effort to. In my understanding in my observation money, for me is a tool. It has utility value. But then beyond that, you know, in some context, it plays its role. And it’s in some places it doesn’t. I’ll give you an example. This debate has been on for many, many, many years, hundreds of years. If you go back 500,000 years, and you start readings, or you try to pull some information about how previous generations used to treat money, and what were the money values. One of the values that you can see, all through history is you know happiness, wealth, and happiness. Not happiness in wealth. But I see people who are on both sides even today and 500 years from now, people will be on both sides. So some people will continue to make money hoping that making a lot of money will make them happy. And there will be people who will constantly pursue other things so that other things are wealthy for them because they’re fine. Think wealth and happiness that those things make them happy. So this, these two are always going to be there, these two categories. So, one saying money is a thing, the other thing, is money is not a thing. Jay, Paul Getty was once asked, you know, you have all these billions of dollars? And he said, Yeah, you know, I have all this money, but I don’t think I am happy. You know, with this money, I cannot buy help with this money. I cannot buy good times.

So what’s the value of this? So, I have known personally, and I see I read people who pursue money as if that’s the only thing. And if that person oxygen, so which, by the way, we all do all of us, we need oxygen to survive. So these people somehow read money is much higher than oxygen itself. So they do. But then little do they know that they have lost their prime, they’ve lost their time. And by the time they have it all out, they’re starting to fall apart from a health perspective. You know, I’m telling you right now, my mindset, and it has been for the last few years, you know, what is my neurological life? Just running and diet doesn’t help. I need to start focusing as, as I’m growing, I need to start focusing on, you know, what can I do to keep my brain active, what can I do to make sure that I’m stretching, you know, my, everything, when it comes to the neurons, and everything that comes to the nervous system, everything is in intact. Those are the changing things. And I’m starting to see that. And once you are in your 50s, you start to think along those lines, you’re not thinking about, in I want to go buy a bigger house or a better car. It’s just It comes with that age. So money is overrated, it’s inflated, and I made a podcast on this many, many months ago. As I said, money for me has utility value, which means it is a form, it’s, it’s a mechanism, it’s a means to do whatever you want to do. So money gives me freedom, money gives you autonomy. So these are the things that that money can do. But just making it the most important thing is one of the, you know, surefire ways or short ways, whatever you want to say, do not have in good time. Jay, Paul Getty said it. So the pursuit of money is important. Not money in itself, money in itself will do nothing. Many years ago, I went into started promoting a concept called a lifestyle business, which is not unique to me, and many other people also do it and talk about it. And in the lifestyle business, what you’re doing is you’re making just enough amount of money so that you have a decent lifestyle. And lifestyle includes health, relationships, finances, investments, every other aspect of life, spirituality, everything comes in, in a lifestyle.

So you make just enough amount of money so that you can just have every other aspect of your life in sync. Because if you start focusing and giving more money to one area of life, then success in that area is coming at the cost of other areas. Simple, okay? So pretty simple. Take your hourly rate or whatever. And, you multiply that by eight. So you work eight hours a day, that’s all just eight hours a day. And that will give you over a period of 22 days in a month, that should give you the amount of money to make. For example, let’s say you take your hourly rate is $100. And you work eight hours a day 800. And let’s say that are only 20 days, in a month, you work Saturdays, Sundays you don’t. So if you go by that number, that means you need $16,000. Now, if you keep all your expenses under 16,000, including some investment in savings, all of that and taxes and all that, then you have a good life. And it isn’t life going as long as you keep making those numbers. And I’ve known many people I’ve lived that life. I know many of the people that I coach and train and I tell them to do it. And that’s it. That’s how it works. Now occasionally you have a situation like COVID or inflation and all that the stock market collapses. So, it may shift some numbers here and there. But over a long period of time, you also should because you have energy and you have Help and all that you’re smart. So, as things change on the money front, you also modify other things to make sure that you, your money, numbers, or whatever it is, don’t go down and you will pull the numbers back to the same level so that you continue to have a balanced lifestyle. Simple. Okay, I’m going to stop here. This podcast has gone too far. Longest I think ever since. Great. Go. Have an incredible Tuesday, and I will catch up with you tomorrow, depending upon what else I have to say maybe I’ll continue this, or maybe I’m going to go to a question depends. Okay. That’s all for now. Take care of yourself. We’ll talk soon.

What Is Said Without Effort Is Listened To Without Measure

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Happy Monday morning to you welcome back to success for Srini. today’s podcast episode is an extension to yesterday’s podcast episode yesterday, I was answering a question on the fear of public speaking, a question that came in from a longtime listener of this podcast, asking me about what to do, because there will be presenting in front of 150 people. So there is a lot of fear there, there is a risk of credibility, worried about how people will perceive and all that. So I think I had a few more ideas after I was done yesterday recording the podcast. So I thought, I want to extend a little bit more kind of give a little bit more juice to the discussion. So my request to you is, please listen to yesterday’s podcast before you listen to today’s podcast. Okay. So the discussion was about Glasgow phobia, which is the fear of public speaking. Now, anytime you have a fear, there are three things that there is something positive about fear. And obviously, there are negatives to fear.

Now, again, it all depends. It’s very contextual, it depends. Most of the time fear has no physical construct. It is a psychological construct that many cities in the mind, but somehow, it gives a physical feeling. So something that is psychological, but creates a physical feeling. That’s what fear does. Now, the way to overcome any fear is to believe that the fear is here to serve me. And it’s not here to guide me. The fear serves, it doesn’t guide who is guiding you, you. But the way the fear is serving you is it’s telling you, oh, wait a minute, check this out. Now let’s take that exam and apply it to yesterday’s question. If I’m fearful of speaking, I need to know my content. I need to know my tonality, my presentation, my audience, and my topic, and I need to study. So essentially, fear means that, okay, I need to prepare, as I said yesterday, I also made a point I said, you go to rehearse, you got to practice, you got to practice, keep on practicing. So it’s there, the fear is indicating that something is lacking. So it’s serving me, I’m gonna do this. But the way I’m going to deal with this is I’m going to guide the outcome, I’m going to guide myself and position myself towards the outcome. Now, fear also means that you got to strengthen your brave muscle. All of us, all of us are gifted as humans, we are gifted with the bravery muscle. So there is some element of bravery not in all of us, it just that with time and everything else that’s happening and what’s going on, we tend to kind of silence that that muscle or never give attention to it or do not think about it as much, but that it exists. It’s our job is to strengthen that muscle. The more you fight the fear, the more it strengthens.

Now, there’s one more thing I want to add to yesterday’s question. Specifically, when it comes down to speaking public speaking, there are two goals in every message, any message, the first goal is that anything and everything that you say has to be effective. That’s the start, it has to be effective. And then it has to be impactful. So the goal is to create impact. You can live without your message becoming effective, but it has to create an impact. So I can record today’s podcast with a lot of rehearsal a lot of preparation, using the right words, right phrases, and all that. And I want to make it effective, let’s say, but if I’m losing the impact, then there’s no value. I mean, in my mind, yeah. But it’s not creating the impact that I’m seeking. That I’m seeking from my listeners.

See, whatever they say it has to impact them. Otherwise, what’s the point of great recording and great editing and great you know, all that doesn’t matter. Now, some people tell me that they’re not able to present their concepts. And I tell them to write it down. Or I’m having trouble writing what I have in my mind. So every time you cannot write something, or you cannot see something, that means it’s complex. Not necessarily complex, but it’s complex in your mind. That means you have not simplified it, a simple idea automatically translates into a page should be able to be translated into a page. As a writer, I’m telling you, every time I have difficulty writing, that means it’s not clear in my mind, I don’t have clarity, I have to simplify this in my mind. So talking about simplification, people cannot simplify ideas or cannot present content clearly is because they’re scattered, a lot of scattered thinking going on in their mind, so they cannot translate it to the best form. So what it means is they don’t know what to say. Or they’re pretending to communicate. I don’t pretend to communicate on this podcast, or anywhere.

Never no point. I may not know something. But if I do not know, something, I’ll tell you, I don’t know. have happened to me numerous times where I stood up on the stage and said, I don’t know. If I pretend to communicate, then people will see through. People are smart, everybody’s smart, nobody’s dumb. We live in a world that is always stimulated with smartness. What is said without effort always listens without measure. So if I can say something effortlessly here, I know you will listen to it without measuring me. But if I struggling to say something, trying to fill in some gaps in my thinking with big words, and with folds, and with some codes and some stories, some nonrelevant stuff, then you’re going to measure it. So one good thing about anything that you’re struggling with today, you know, the struggle is good, because struggle creates patients, struggling with public speaking, presentations, writing, anything that you’re struggling with means that every time there is a struggle, there is also a silent side of the struggle, which is patience. So patience is building within you. There is a Chinese saying, your job is to make a part of yours. And the more you are at something, the back becomes obvious. The more you are at something, whatever it is, whatever that something is for you. So the only way to really overcome any fear is to really go out right, whatever it is, in this case, public speaking that we are talking about today but applies to everything.

Okay, so that’s all that’s those are some of my thoughts. I just wanted to quickly get them out of me and put it here so that the individual who asked me the question yesterday will benefit from this hopefully, and then everybody else who listened to yesterday’s podcast will also derive some benefit from this. So that’s all for now. Use have a wonderful Monday, and I will catch up with you as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned. Bye now.