The 3 Step Formula to Creating a Happy State of Mind

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One of the challenges that I have found for a very long time personally, and also I’ve seen many coaches, mentors, and therapists, who are in a similar line of the profession they have faced and they’re continuing to face is, how do we keep our subjects mind? In a proper state? How do we keep it in a state where our solutions, our strategies work beyond the time we have with them? huge, big challenge. And this has been addressed multiple times before. And this has been on for a long time, every time you also know this. And I’ve gotten this question also from multiple people, which is how do we keep our minds happier? How do we get into a state of mind state where we feel happy, and we stay there for a long time difficult to stay there for a long time. But then that is what everybody wants. And that is what I want as a coach as a mentor is, every time a client walks away, or once I’m done coaching someone, I want them to have a mental state where my solution, my technique, my strategy that I’m sharing with them, is going to work. Because you need to have its environment difficult to create that environment. Because once people leave you, you’re not controlling the environment, somebody else’s, have no idea what people walk into the outside of the conversation that I’m having with them. Very difficult to do it. This has been a challenge for a long time. So I wanted to kind of address this issue on the podcast today so thank you for tuning in.

Happy Friday morning to you, as I’m recording this. So this has been addressed by the legendary hypnotist, and hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson, back in the 60s 70s 80s. He used to use a technique called cueing used to give a cue to his client so that every time they use this cue, outside when they’re alone, they get into that same hypnotic state. Since then, this has been modeled into NLP. And the credit goes to many, many NLP experts who have contributed to this idea. And now we have what is called anchors in NLP. An anchor is it’s a simple concept. You see, all of us you will meet, we have good memories, we have bad memories. And every time, if I asked you to go to a childhood memory that you have a good memory you have, you may struggle to go back to a childhood memory, or a college memory or your dating memory, whatever you have, it’s very difficult for you to go back to it. But what if I play you a song of duck time? What if I play you a piece of music or I show you a movie or something like that, now you have a reference, the mind has a reference. So that’s why we say music and capsulate time. So if I play you a song from the 60s, from the 70s, from the 80s or 90s, you will go back in time and remember where you were when you heard that song for the very first time. And you bring back all those memories good or bad, subjective, but hopefully good, but you bring you can bring them back and, and music is one of the senses. Likewise, with some smell, you can bring back a few memories. But the taste, you can bring back some memories. So all these are anchored into us. All this is there in us. You know we as humans, are all stimulated by the environment.

So there are things that stimulate us, we can stimulate ourselves, deliberately, you know, we can bring back a certain memory into our mind, a certain experience into our mind by simply stimulating ourselves, and stimuli have played a big role all along ever since we were born. So this is how we are programmed. And this is how the programming has been. So if you take that concept, there are sensors that can be used to activate certain memories, and those memories can be brought into the active mind. And you can relive this, that happy moment that happened to you many, many years ago. So here’s the strategy. This is what is how this is going to play out. In three steps. You can bring back anything that happened to you in the past, kind of bring it back into your current situation, and feel good about yourself. So ideally, go back in time, do a moment or two an event and bring it back. fill your mind with that event and feel good about yourself. So now suddenly you become happy. So If your mood is low, you’re unhappy, not feeling good about yourself, all you have to do is bring a memory from the past, fill your mind, and relive that moment so that you feel happier.

So three steps to this step number one, think of the state that you want to get into. Very simple, what state you want to get into number two, you recall a memory from the past that you know, can create, or you experienced it in the past that you know that you can use in which you can create whatever state you want to get into. Bring it back, fill your mind and start living in it. So in a way you’re reviving it. So the way you revive is, you smell as this event is filling your mind, do you see yourself in that event? Let’s say I’m going back in time to an event that happened to me in 1980, maybe July 1 of 1980, I’m just making up the day. If I go back in time, on that day, that afternoon was the most incredible afternoon for me, because you know, we were having a celebration in the house, I see myself that whole event playing out, I can smell the air, I can see the light, I can see the people, I can see the nature outside, literally, I’m feeling all the sensations that at the way I felt at that point in time right now. But placing myself in that event. So I’m stimulating myself by bringing all of this. So I’m just by using the simple three steps technique, I’m modifying my internal state. A lot of research has gone into this a lot of people have contributed to this concept, and I was mentioning that earlier. Now, what you can do is, let’s say you are in the middle of a crowd, let’s say you’re in a meeting, you’re surrounded by people, you’re busy, you’re driving your flying, whatever you’re doing, you can code this whole event into a finger into your hand into your shoulder. And all you have to do is simply touch that finger, let’s say I code this whole event into my index finger, all I have to do is just touch my index finger. And suddenly, this whole event comes into my mind, because this whole event is anchored into my index finger on my right hand. So I touch my right-hand index finger. All this comes into my mind automatically. And now I feel good about myself.

So I’ve used these anchors throughout my fingers brought my hands. I mentioned this earlier a few weeks ago on one of the podcasts. But this is how you change your mental state. Now, as I said, the reason why you change your mind state is that, in a bad mental state, none of the good solutions work. Many times people say I followed exactly what you told me to do. But somehow it did not work. It’s very simple. The reason why did not work is that the necessary mental state that was required for this solution to work was not created. So first create that mindset, and then work on the solution. It works difficult to do this, when somebody’s outside, easier to do this in therapy or in a one-on-one setup. And that’s why people outside of that consultation, don’t get results, but easy to get into the state. Again, a while ago on this podcast, I talked about the story, state, and strategy. And I’ll leave a link to that podcast here who’s watching this on YouTube, or you’re listening to this on a podcasting app. I’ll leave a link right in the description section here, and the podcast Notes section. That’s all for now. Try this technique and try to see if you can somehow while you’re recollecting an event from the past, I wanted to touch the index finger and feel as if this whole event is kind of in like the kind of forming itself and going into your index finger. Right? So somehow make that association of this event and your right-hand index finger. So every time we touch that index finger, using that index finger will bring back that memory from the past and fill your mind completely, and alters your mindset as a result works all the time. Incredible technique tried. Let me know how it works.

That’s all for now. Have a wonderful Friday weekend, and I will catch up with you as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned.

How To Win In Life – Part 3

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Welcome back to Day 3, or part three of How to Win in Life, in career, in business and relationships and finances, whatever you have got going for the last two days, we are talking about different strategies, different insights on how to win in life. We started on the first of August, I went through four specific strategies or ideas or concepts or whatever you want to call them. Yesterday, I went through a little bit of a bigger list or long list, we talked about a few more strategies. But today, I want to specifically talk about how to win at home. Because you can’t win outside and lose inside. So unless you’re not winning at home, any win outside of the home is not a real win. I see people struggle with this. They are doing amazing things outside of the house. But when it comes to their own home, they have fights, they have disagreements, they have a lot of things going on in the field, and they have lost it at home. So on the outside when cannot replace a loss that’s happening inside? So you got to win from inside. So we’ll talk about some things that you have to do at home. Let’s get into this.

The first and foremost thing is not nag. It’s a big one. Nagging destroys relationships, I will come back and do a longer deeper podcast on this specific topic. But for now, if you understand what nagging is, do not nag. Keep the conversations in sight. Words will destroy you before they destroy people outside of you. So words modify you first before they modify others. If you’re using negative words, negative words, nasty words, or inappropriate words, then you run the risk of those words damaging you more than they damage anybody else outside. So it does more harm to you than whatever you are trying to do with others. So be careful with the words that you choose, be careful how you say them, don’t keep on repeating the same thing over and over again, just state your character, it doesn’t do any good or doesn’t solve anything. And also as a part of part one of this podcast or of the series two days ago, I said do not criticize. So that applies also at home, the mark nag, do not criticize the next one. constantly find small things to appreciate. And I think I repeated I said this yesterday. Also, it supplies at home also any little small thing your child does your spouse does. Your partner does appreciate even the smallest things. And the next one is to pay attention to little things. So this kind of goes with the previous statement, your kind of attention. Attention means that you are constantly looking for and finding means that you are the part of your mind that can process and find small things and then appreciate them. But then paying attention to small things is like you are always there.
Literally always there when you are with people in the house. With children with the spouse, you’re constantly there, like literally in an aware state looking for paying attention to small things. When you pay attention to small things, it’s natural that you will start either rectifying the mistakes that are making without criticizing without nagging, or you compliment them for whatever little things they’re doing is good. So heightened attention to little things is the key. Obviously got to be courteous. And nice. There’s no shortcut. Okay, one of the greatest mentors that I had once told me and also recently told me, the trainee always say, Yes, you want to win at home, always say yes. And always say you’re right. Okay, you’re right. And yes, the secret to success. I also suggest that you read at least one book a year on relationships.

I would say read one a month, if you can, maybe once a quarter, but for sure one a year. If you really want to take your game to the next level, go to a relationship or a couples seminar. There are always things that we can learn in relationships are those things which we easily take for granted. So sometimes it’s important to kind of learn whatever you already have in your hands so that you can process it differently without taking them for granted. So that’s all for now I can go and I can add a few more things to this list. But this is the list that I’m referring to, from my 2016 presentation. And this is the one that I shared in the room, there were about 180 160 people in the room, they went through this, and I found the deck. So I thought I would come. And in fact, they are this way. There are three different slides. So I just followed the same structure. I did not alter anything. And I presented them as a podcast here. Hopefully, this was helpful. All the links to the previous podcasts out there in the comment section, in the description section, if you’re watching this on YouTube, and also on the podcasting app whatever podcasting app you’re using right now to listen to this.

That’s all for now. Tomorrow, I’m going to come back and we’ll start a new series, and we go from there. So appreciate you staying with me. Appreciate your questions. Appreciate your comments. And I look forward to the next series, which I promise you is going to completely change your game. So you have to stay tuned for tomorrow’s podcast episode for that. That’s all for now. Wherever you are, be safe and I’ll be talking to you as soon as early as tomorrow. Bye now.

How To Win In Life – Part 2

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Welcome back. Today we’re going to continue from where we left off yesterday. Yesterday, I started a, a three-part series. And I said, I’m going to share some strategies, some techniques, or some insights on how to win at life, maybe in your career, maybe in relationships, maybe in your business, whatever you got going how to win. So I shared about four strategies yesterday or four insights yesterday, today, I have a few long lists, maybe six or seven today. So let’s get into this. Then turning from where I left off yesterday, deliver value in every action and interaction doesn’t matter small or big, maybe for a one-minute interaction, or maybe a long interaction, maybe your action is just you taking an action, nobody is around you. Regardless, everything you do has to have some value associated with it. So this podcast, I’m recording my goal, my intent is to deliver value to you, okay, or make this valuable. And if I do that, then obviously, as I’m taking this action, I’m recording this, I’m trying to make this valuable, so you will derive value. So if this is an interaction, that means you’re listening to this, and you will take away some good stuff. That’s my goal. That’s my intent. Then the second one, there’s a principle called W.I.T.I.I.F.M. This was something that I learned very early on when I started my own business. Why would somebody listen to you? Why would somebody buy from you? Why would somebody deal with you? And how do you really get people’s attention? So some marketing books said, it’s all about W.I.T.I.I.F.M and this principle applies everywhere. Or what it stands for is that, “What is there in it for me?”, “What is there in it for me?” W.I.T.I.I.F.M.

Every brain, every human, every individual is walking around thinking, what is it? What is there in it for me? So if you speak to what is there in it for them, then you will have what is whatever you want. So always, every time you talk to anyone always talk to their interests, not to your interest, been in many conversations where people show up, and they talk to themselves. Some of my friends, call me to talk to themselves. I did this, I don’t know what’s gonna happen. I did that. Who knows? You know, maybe I should have done this, maybe I should have done that. The call was just for them to talk to themselves. They don’t care who you know, Srini, how are you doing what’s happening? Maybe they’ll say one time, but most of the conversation is about them. Nobody’s interested, nobody cares. And I love them. I listen to them. But then, if they had known this principle, then imagine what kind of results they would create for themselves. Genuinely, when you’re working with people, that third one, genuinely makes them important. This goes along with the, with previous one, always, genuinely make people important. And this is a principle I wish I would have learned this early on. In my early days, I never thought of making other people important. But ever since I made that shift, my life has been incredible. I always genuinely make people important. Avoid confrontations and arguments. You can’t win. Even if you think that you have won an argument. In the long run, you will lose out.

So typically, there’s no vent when something gets into an argument. It’s too late. Never let anything slip into a state of, you know, confrontation, or become argumentative. Don’t let the situation slip. And avoid as much as you can. Then, along those lines, the next one here is to respect opinions. Everybody has the same voice and has the same thoughts as similar existence occupies a similar space like you, me, so we shouldn’t be questioning other people’s opinions. And we do that all the time. And we say, hey, my religion is bigger than yours. My knowledge is my credentials are bigger than yours, then I have more money than you and my social status is bigger than you whatever than yours. Point is. Every time you say that I’m bigger and better than you then there is somebody else who is much, much bigger and better than you. So so it doesn’t work. And it’s a conversation that has no place. So respect other people’s opinions. And most importantly, don’t let them down. Even though you are right and wrong. Your job is not to give them a feeling that they have lost. They should win. Okay, they should win, so let them be.

Achievers, listen. Some. So you want to be an achiever, listen, let them talk, he’d be amazing. In moments, you’ll figure out how much they do not know. You see, I’m talking here for five minutes, and you will come to know how much I do not know, I think I’m sharing something that you do not know, the truth is you are figuring out how much I do not know, I know that some very attentive to what I’m doing here, at the same time, what I’m incapable of doing here, and how I’m being heard. While you’re listening to the words that I’m saying, hopefully, you’re also listening to the words that I’m incapable of saying that also people listen, people, listen, through silence, achievers, listen through silence. And then the last one here is sympathy and empathy. If you don’t have sympathy for people, you cannot win. If you don’t have empathy for people, then you can’t achieve bigger things. Winning is okay, but then achieving bigger things, like winning on top of winning, can’t do that. So, sympathy and empathy are learned skills, you can learn them, yes, some people, depending upon how what circumstances they went through, it’s very difficult for them, to bring these two qualities into them. But then you can learn. And there are enough lessons that life is teaching you to learn. You don’t need to listen to a podcast to learn what empathy and sympathy is. Life is already teaching you that lesson, all you have to do is listen to that lesson, and observe and take it in.

Okay, so I’m going to stop here, there are, I don’t know, 3, 6, 7 things I talked about already. So I’m going to stop here. All I’m requesting to do is just take one of these things and just apply right away. Hopefully, you did that yesterday, took one from the list I shared with you, and you applied. Take one from today’s lesson and see how life will respond to you. I’m promising you it’s going to respond back to you on a whole different level, in a much better way, in a good way, in a rewarding way. Okay, so tomorrow, we’ll talk a little bit about home and specifically things that you should do at home so that you can win. So that’s going to be our part three. So stay tuned for that. And if you’re liking what I’m sharing with you, you’re finding some value. Just let me know drop me a message or write a comment. You’re watching this on YouTube. You can always write a comment. So that’s all for now. Wherever you are, be safe and I’ll be talking to you as early as tomorrow with part three. Stay tuned.