Stop Erasing Your Self-Worth…Start Expressing!

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back. On the podcast today I’m answering a question. That is a long one big one. And I’ll make an attempt. Now, this gentleman first heard me talk about my being an introvert. And later on trying to become an extrovert, and then along the way, new through numerous different tests, I found out that I’m an ambivert. So I did a podcast on this some time ago. So this gentleman listened to this podcast episode and ever since, became a regular listener, and ended up sending an email to me, telling me about how he has difficulty in speaking up and expressing himself in meetings, eventually ends up pleasing everyone, and not going through his own feelings, so leaves unhappy, and he leaves a very authentic life. According to me, if somebody does that, not an authentic way of living life, I did a podcast on this, I talked about this, you know, all that. So if you are listening to this for the very first time, then I suggest that you check out the earlier podcast, I’m gonna drop a link for the earlier podcast if you’re watching this on YouTube. So let’s get into this.

See, when you speak about others all the time, and you end up not speaking about yourself, you don’t get a chance to express your feelings, you don’t put your values forward, then the chances are that in a way, you are erasing your self worth, you keep on doing this for a long amount of time, you will no more be yourself, you will be somebody completely different. And this is another form of cognitive dissonance, you have multiple thoughts, you have multiple feelings, and you have multiple values, you really do not know which side you are playing. So depending upon a given situation, wherever you are, you try to go with one value. And again, when that value gets challenged, you go to the other value, the opposite value, and you don’t know where you stand. So this is essentially an act where you will never really lead a full life if you stay in that mode. And by leading a full life, what I mean is taking on difficult things, you’re simply living an average life, even though you may be making a lot of money, even though you might be financially well off all that is there. But then there is going to be some lingering you know, sense of unhappiness that gives you an example.

Hopefully, this conveys the point. I’ve seen, you might have seen to where some celebrities, they take on some topics. And they keep going very hard with their views. We call them activists, they don’t see themselves as an activist, they think that they need to speak on those topics. I have done that too, in the past. And my experience was I got good praise for what I said. And I also got some pushback for some of my views. I don’t do it as much I don’t use Twitter and all that. But the point is, people, do some celebrities do they have a huge following have a huge presence have big names. They are big names and all that. But then a question comes up why do they do this, some people do this because the media is a part of the media says that they do because they want fame, a part of media says that they do this because they want to have a political, you know, whatever their ambitions. What it comes down to truly is people who speak up, express their feelings, or those who want to lead a full life.

This is my observation, personal observation, they want to lead a full life. They think this is a way of doing it. They think by doing this, they are authentic, which is the truth. When you speak your feelings, you are authentic, then they also think that they are fearless. And whatever fears they have, this is a way to attack those fears. So if somebody comes and says something about a world situation going on, they themselves are attacking the fears that they have within themselves. It has nothing to do with the world issue. Maybe Maybe not, but they also have an element of that within them. That’s why they’re speaking now. This takes us to a whole different observation, which is these people are aware of other people’s feelings. So they somehow put themselves in other people’s shoes and they see life from wherever, whichever way the other people are seeing and in the process. They connect themselves with those feelings, the feelings of those people. And now once feeling smart Ah, you have to take on the identity at some level. And you do that for a long amount of time you take on the identity of other people. So an individual who is a celebrity and coming out and speaking, and, you know, going out all the way and saying things in the process, making others angry, the boss is making some people happy, but they’re speaking their mind. All it means is that they are trying to lead an authentic life, they’re trying to lead a full life, and they’re trying to banish some of the fears. And the doing this because they have built awareness in dial in into the feelings of people who do not have a voice.

Now, a lot of people do not have a voice. And this question is coming from there. And if you start going deeper into this question, and you, you know, when was the last time you had a feeling that you wanted to express but you couldn’t, or something stopped me from doing and if you start taking that, and you start digging down, going deep into yourself, you’ll start to see that this is programming, the way you were raised the way you were, maybe the social structure on maybe the brought up that what we say, the social structure, and you probably weren’t programmed to surrender, you’re programmed to not to speak up all that. So you never really experienced freedom. And that has continued. Even today, you’re successful, you’re making money, whatever, you have a great career profession, whatever you have got going for yourself. But somehow you’re not able to express what you have on your mind, then you’re still caged by the values and feelings and thoughts from your childhood. This is what programming comes in. This is where the unconscious retention I talk about all the time here comes in. And your brain has been heavily hijacked by those people, many, many years ago. And now you’re not able to get it back even though you have everything going for you.

How do you break through this? Well, there are so many ways you can start. And again, this has nothing to do with your speaking abilities or your English or whatever language you speak none. And this has to do with you, your convictions, your values, your thoughts, and your feelings all together stacked in one line. I say this all the time you hold your ground if this is a mirror, let’s say these four things, constitute a mirror. Then when you look into that mirror, you see yourself you don’t see any other distortions of your image that come with some deep conviction that comes with positioning you to position yourself in your mind. Now, here’s what I suggest you do next time in a conversation deliberately take the opposite side. If everybody’s agreeing to something, stand up and say I don’t want to do this.

Okay, I don’t want to do this and see what happens. Let’s say you want to go somewhere, and you decide not to go, I’m just giving an example, stand up and say, Hey, I decided not to go. And I’m not going to see what happens. Because that is your authentic self, you express your authentic self. If somebody is pushing, or making you do something, which you think is not the right thing to do in the greater interest, but you’re still doing it because by not doing you are going to make somebody unhappy for whom you care for whom, who is important to you in a later context, then startup, you know, at that moment, you just say that I will not go with this, I can’t do this, and you start small, just don’t do it. In larger contexts, start small, see what happens and then build that nerve and build that muscle that is going to create that identity for you. And from there, it all goes. I’ve also said this here, the most flexible individual is successful in any context, any situation. But swing extreme flexibility also back, you know, breaks your backbone. So you got to be careful how you do this. But I know for sure that if you can’t express your feelings, you can’t live a full life this is the truth. And yes, as far as solutions, this email from this gentleman was about can I try hypnosis, and all yes, you can. I would rather have you try some conscious techniques before you go into the unconscious techniques to consciously try to see if you can overcome this. Then if you’re not, if you need a little bit deeper intervention, you could try hypnosis to essentially all hypnosis will do is have you focus on the right thoughts will bring in the right beliefs and those are the right values so that the thoughts are pure and the feelings are correct. So in a way, you are redrawing Your entire subconscious mind specific to the way you want your identity to show up. I think I said it right? Maybe not. Well, I did.

Okay. That’s all there is to this. Hopefully, this podcast will help you to find and express your authentic self. That was my goal. That’s all for now, wherever you are, be safe. And I’ll be talking to you as early as tomorrow. And do send me your questions. Okay. 888-818-0404 You can call them you can text me and all that. Okay, that’s it. Bye now.

4 Road Blocks To Success And How You Can Overcome Them

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Today’s podcast episode is an extension to yesterday’s podcast episode, I’m actually recording both yesterday’s and today’s podcast at the same time back to back. And this is coming out to you a day later for me. So yesterday I was recording the factors that enough influence our fulfillment. Life is a happiness game, I was making a point. And I shared seven specific factors. I said habits, I said, attributes whatever way you want to say it. But then towards the end, I got this thought. I said people have asked me before to speak on some roadblocks to success. And I’ve done that to also hear on the radio shows also on the podcast here. Then I said, Okay, why not talk about the roadblocks to success. There are many, there are many. And it’s very difficult to singularly call out one or two or, and kind of highlight. But again, depending on the topic of the day, sometimes wherever my focus is, wherever the discussion is, I may highlight one or two things and specifically talk about them. But then there’s so many, it’s very difficult. But what I’ve seen, just working with myself on my own issues, there are four things that are very dominant in our culture in the times that we are in, and I named them F.L.I.G.

So F.L.I.G, the four words. So the first letter “F” stands for FEAR. The second is LIMITATION. “I” stands for INFERIORITY, and “G” stands for GREED. So let’s get into this. I’ll tell you why these four as I said, this is very dominant, predominantly seen in many people. The first and foremost is fear. Fear is everywhere. We are controlled by others. Fear being used to control others, we, due to lack of information due to lack of knowledge, the way we were raised our upbringing, so many things have played into the kinds of fears we have within ourselves. Growing up, you know, I was raised with this fear of snakes, and I continued all my life. And here I am a help I work with people in hypnosis, trying to remove fears. So I exactly know how it works. And fear becomes the single biggest roadblock to any kind of success that you are seeking. So anything under two affirmations is two different metaphors or two different analogies that have been used consistently while working with people. The first one is that fear always creates some level of anxiety. And if you’re not feeling anxious about something, that means then you you will never have a desire to explore what it is. And if you explore something, then chances are you will gain some knowledge, if nothing else.

So that is why I don’t know who said this. But whoever said they said it’s alright. Anxiety is the storehouse of wisdom. So if you’re anxious, that means if you have some fear, and you get anxious about it, you will do some homework, you will do some research and along the way, you’ll get some knowledge and you will increase your wisdom, very simple. So every time you encounter some fear, just go through the sequence in your mind. The second one is anything and everything that you want is on the other side of fear. So there is no point to become to be fearful of anything. And there are different other affirmations that I’ve used, which is our time is limited, we can only do a certain amount, a certain amount of things in a certain amount of time. And everything is timed in life anyway, we have a short life. So it makes sense to take our chances and see you know, what else what best we can do and what else can happen with us. If you’re not taking risks, by not taking a risk, you are taking a risk anyway. By avoiding fear, you may feel good, you may become comfortable momentarily, but then just you understand that there is risk everywhere. And I’ve met people who told me that they’re fearful of speaking in public I’ve met people who tell me that I’m fearful of flying met people who told me that they fear life and all that. So all that is just a state of mind. And as long as you educate yourself as long as you focus on the, you know, the brighter side, you should be able to overcome this.
Okay, so let’s get to the second one. The second is a limitation. The limitation is the biggest roadblock to success, the second biggest roadblock to success and there are so many elements when we talk about limitations. The many of them, but then the one that I really want to highlight today is the limitation that we put on ourselves by making some assumptions about who we are, what we have, and what we do not have and that’s called a self-imposed limitation. Limitation, by definition, is a hindrance, it’s an obstacle that we create. Sometimes it’s it by nature, by default, we have them. That’s not the discussion we are having here. But self imposed limitations are those that are made out of assumptions. They’re not true, they don’t exist. And we somehow have made up our minds about them. And here’s the, here’s the crux of this. The majority of the time, we make assumptions, just for the fact that we are, we have gotten that as a habit.

So we are so habitual with making assumptions, we never invest time to understand, collect the data, do the research, look at put in some hypotheses, consider some alternate hypotheses, get some other opinions, some other points of view, we don’t. And we override them with our own emotions, our own feelings. And just we exist in that cloudy state, where we really do not know what is right, what is real, what is not real. So things like I have no education, I have no money, I have no connections, I have no energy, I have no ability to focus, all these are self-imposed, all these things have to be tested before they can be accepted that way. So you got to, if you feel you don’t have money, you really, really have to get some data, get some proof that you don’t have money, or there’s a difference between lack of a resource and lack of resource fullness. So you know, you could lack a resource, truly, but it doesn’t mean that you are not resourceful. So, self-imposed limitations. They don’t take a lot of effort to, understand, explore, and really go deep, it doesn’t cost a lot. And there’s no better person to do this other than you yourself when you’re dealing with your own issues. So biggest roadblock, second biggest roadblock. And the third one is the inferiority complex. And when we talk about the topic, of inferiority complex, the society does a lot of this and sort of programming again, the way we were raised, the way we were told and shown or implied, all that plays a role in this, in the development of this mindset.

There are many approaches to overcome this, and the one and most effective way to overcome inferiority complex is practicing self-acceptance. You accept yourself, and you don’t judge yourself. You don’t penalize yourself or crucify yourself, I don’t know the right word to say that, but you don’t hurt yourself, not physically, but you don’t really, constantly keep on attacking yourself for things that otherwise may not be true. So there are so many different strategies when it comes to self-acceptance, how to practice them, and all that. So I’ll probably get into that later on. But you get the idea. And the last one is greed. Greed is, is also there is no data to show that greed, somehow it takes some brain space in a very weird way. And they’re now saying, it’s in the DNA, it’s weird. Everything over a long period of time becomes DNA. So if you want to get rid of greed, then there are many different approaches you can take. But the most effective way to get rid of greed is by giving. And by sharing. There are different shapes and forms of this and different ways this can manifest. But every time you hear the word greed, it’s related to money, mostly money, but there are other forms of greed also. And the only way to really overcome this is by giving and by sharing. Now, the reason why I said Flegg, arranged this, these four words, is because if I go in that order, fear is the easiest one to overcome.

Whether you take external help or you internally do it, fear is the easiest way. And even though it occupies the mind, in a big way. It’s also very easy to take it out. And that’s also making the statement based on my personal experience working with people who have gone through some phobias, some fears and all. The second in that in that series is limitation limitations can be easily removed, followed by info reacting very easily a little bit harder, but much easier to remove than greed. So the greed is the hardest part, the most difficult thing to remove, and study something that, that, really you need to really build multiple mechanisms to, because with greed, you look at the world with a different view altogether, it completely changes the way you engage with, with everything around you just, it has its presence at multiple different levels. And much deeper than then what we know. So if I have to deal with greed, then I have to have multiple different coping mechanisms. So these four are the roadblocks to success, whatever success that you are pursuing right now.

That’s all for now, hopefully, this is helpful. Hopefully, I made you think through this. That was the idea. But then I’ll come back and do specific podcast episodes talking about each one of them multiple times. I’ve spoken about fear. The other things are limitations, inferiority complex, and greed. I may do individual podcast episodes going a little bit deeper into it. So stay tuned for that. And that’s all for now. Wherever you are, be safe, and I’ll be talking to you as early as tomorrow. Thank you.

7 Factors That Influence Your Success

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

On the podcast today, I’m sharing seven specific things that you can do right now, to increase or get back fulfillment into your life. Before starting recording this podcast, I was thinking, you know, should I call it seven traits, should I call it seven habits, and eventually ended up saying seven factors are, you could turn it into a habit if you want. But let’s stay with factors. Historically, ever since this podcast started, about 12 years ago, I started my radio show, consistently, all along, I had been saying that life is a happiness game. It’s not my statement, that’s how I read, that’s how I was told. And the more I grow, the more I see the world. I tend to agree life is a happiness game, everything that you are doing right now in your life, is the pursuit of happiness, and everything I am doing in my life is the pursuit of happiness in pursuit of happiness.

So if I’m recording this podcast, I want to feel happy doing it, you on the other side, probably are listening so that you can get an idea, strategy, and nugget. And it is going to solve a problem that you have got going in your life and you become happy. So it is a happiness game, and you can’t live a good life, staying unhappy. So one of the other things also we need is some joy, with happiness. And you also need to feel fulfilled. Yeah, and I’m engaging everything that I have. And, you know, I’m fully applying myself and I feel good about myself, all that so that that sense of actualization that you derive that you need to drive. So that is fulfillment. There are seven things that are seven factors that affect the way you will have that eternal bliss, that fulfillment. I have done this before. Here, individually, I spoke and have done podcast episodes, each on each one of them, or this time. But then to the kind of summing it up.

Hopefully, this is helpful. Maybe you’re listening to this, for the very first time, this podcast will be helpful. The first one is Sleep, sleep, you got to sleep early, you got to sleep deep, and you need to sleep on command, you tell the brain, the mind, I want to sleep now you should be able to go to sleep. And you tell the mind I want to wake up at four o’clock in the morning, you should be able to wake up and you tell the mind that I want to go into a deep sleep, your mind should go into a deep sleep. Very simple. If you cannot curate sleep, then you stay irritated throughout the day. There are numerous studies available on the way sleep impacts every function of our existence, everything you do in an awake state is controlled by what you do while you are in a nonawake state which is asleep. So if you can’t curate sleep, then that becomes a factor in your overall happiness and joy.

The second one is tempered. How many times I have met people who just cannot control their anger, just They’re wonderful people, they’re amazing people, but they just cannot for some reason. And by the time they come back, they recover the comeback, the situation is gone, everything is lost. And even though they have the skill and talent, and they have all the gifts within them, they just simply cannot achieve whatever they are setting themselves up for. So temper is something that you need to learn how to hold if not, it becomes a hindrance to whatever fulfillment and joy that you’re seeking. The third one is worry. What is I’ve done numerous podcasts also on what is our I don’t know where they come from and don’t know how they go away. But you got to cope got to learn how to cope with them. There has to be a mechanism that you need to develop within yourself. And I’ve seen people who are always worried I’ve seen people who have never worried and I’ve seen everything in between. So how do you overcome this? Well, the first and foremost is you got to acknowledge that you have worries most people don’t. And once you acknowledge you need to set a time, once a week or once a day, whatever amount of time. You can afford maybe an hour or two, whatever. And then go through the worry list. Kind of think about those was a list talk them out to your friend, your partner, whatever, and just in that time slot only. So Monday at 9 pm, you need to discuss all your worries, do it for an hour, but be done with it. Once you’re done thinking about your worries, you’ve got to forget them for a whole week or for a whole day, which is where you want to work it out. So this is a coping mechanism, there are different other mechanisms available. But this is something that I do. And this is how I did. Eventually, there came a point where I was feeling uncomfortable setting a time and thinking about my bodies, I completely let them go.

You can try some mindfulness, you can try some therapy, and all that for what it is. But that is not a necessity. You could do this very effectively, and it works. Nine out of 10 times this process works, then you got to laugh. You don’t laugh, you don’t make laughing an exercise, then you will, you’ll have trouble attaining fulfillment, overall fulfillment. And interestingly, even if you do not laugh, laughing is a learned skill, anybody can learn how to laugh. And there are many different ways you can stimulate yourself to laugh, you should watch a movie, go to a comedy show, or get together with friends these days, people do you know laughter therapy, a bunch of people get together, a bunch of friends gets together and they just laugh. It’s, as I’m saying this, I’m laughing. So if you have trouble laughing, then that means you are going you’re fostering some kind of possibility new, that’s not going to take you or that will become a hindrance for you. The hindrance that you are fostering within you, that’s gonna stop you from attaining the success or the fulfillment you’re seeking, then comes eating, eating healthy, you got to eat right? You got to eat in a timely manner.

So three things to it, you gotta eat it on time, eat whatever you want to eat on time, you got to eat the right quantity, and you got to eat, make sure that whatever you’re eating, there is quality. So time, quantity, and quality. So you can’t eat more than what you are burning. So you measure your intake, you measure your burn, and all that. So food is a major, major mood modifier food is an important part of our system, the way Food enters our system is from the upper part of the body. So so it’s very close to the brain. It’s wired, in our taste birds, you know, it’s our tongue is very deeply wired into the brain. Crazy things happen, you know, with food. So food is the difficult, most difficult habit to overcome. So if you’re eating sugar, you’re eating salt, you’re addicted to, you know, something that has an element of taste involved, it’s very difficult to get rid of.

So got to be careful. And eventually, if you don’t get control of this, then you will not have the fulfillment that you’re seeking. Then falling, eating comes exercise, you got to burn more than you consume. And you got to make sure that your blood flow in the body, your heart is pumping nicely, neatly. And then if you exercise your workout, you’re naturally creating the happiness hormones in your body. So the endorphins, it just it’s a wonderful feeling every time you go workout and you got to do it right. It’s just not like fake exercise, people just go spend hours together, getting no results. Doesn’t work that way. But you got to really be effective with it. And the last one is love. People who love people typically have a good life. So if you hate people, so you’re going to have trouble. And that trouble is completely inside of you. So you got to love people. And then if possible, and you believe if you believe then love your god or your higher power, whatever you believe in. So sleep, temper, worry, laughter, diet, exercise, and love. These are the few things when these are carefully curated or carefully addressed and practiced and given importance and given focus and taken in in the right way. They will accelerate your joy and happiness, and we’ll make sure that you attain that fulfillment that you’re seeking. Very simple, very simple. While I was thinking about recording today’s podcast, an idea crossed my mind. Because a while ago, somebody asked me this question, and I forgot to answer them, which was, you know, Srini, what are some of the roadblocks to success? So what I’ve decided to do, is I’ll come here tomorrow and talk about some roadblocks. Not a lot, some that I experienced myself, and some that I’ve seen people experience over and over again, very limited.

Just two or three, maybe four, not more. In fact, four of them look more like So we’ll talk about that tomorrow. But these are the factors that I want you to be aware of. I want you to be awakened about, spend some time, learn all this if you can, because these things, there’s a lot of material available. It’s not like you need to go to an expert to learn these things are common. available everywhere. There are common things, nothing significant about what I just talked about all the sound factors. Okay, that’s all for now. Wherever you want, be safe, and I’ll be talking to you as early as tomorrow. Thank you. Stay tuned.