2 Mindset Shifts That Will Help You Achieve Anything

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For this podcast episode is a motivation I derived from a long conversation that happened at my friend’s place over this weekend. So a party happening in my friend’s place and a bunch of people are there. And I overheard them talking about the economy, about the stock market, the real estate, and how things are going down. And the carrier’s now taking a hit, and how they are lacking the motivation to go to work. Now the offices have opened up, and all of that. And eventually, I get dragged in, and I get pulled into this conversation. I said, Yeah, true. All of these things are true, maybe there is truth to this. But then I said, the only way to really fight this internally is to have a perspective, who you are, what you’re doing, what is the end objective, and how to go about it, there has to be a proper perspective if not, every step from here on is going to become difficult because you’re starting to accept the problem. without really understanding what’s happening. You’re listening to the media, you’re listening to everything. And obviously, there is a lot that’s going on. And you’re starting to paint yourself as a victim to all this. Hence, you will have suffering. And the only way for you to get out of this is by building a perspective.

Now, here on this podcast across, ever since this podcast has become a daily podcast, I have been saying that no matter what you do, whatever your pursuit is, maybe you want to have a better job, maybe you want to buy a house, maybe you want to become a better investor, whatever your goals are, if you do not attach meaning to the activities that you are engaged in right now, then the process becomes harder. And today on the podcast, I want to drive this point that a perspective is important and how to build a perspective. So the meaning is from a different perspective is different. I went through this myself, many, many years ago, when I was reading a lot of books. And I was trying to figure out life, and it was not happening. So these people at this party did ask me about going to seminars, workshops, reading books, asking me for some recommendations on which book they should read and all that. And I said none of those things will make sense, because they did not make sense to me. When I was going through this reading is an activity. Yes, it does expand the mind. It does do good things. But then why read books, when you are not implementing? Why read books when you are not taking action? Doesn’t make doesn’t add up? So years ago, when I was going through this, I did a few things that instilled a rock-solid perspective into me. That which carries me forward. And I’m not saying this is the way to do it. But because it worked with me, for me, and it continues to work. I think there is some truth to this.

So I want you to listen to this, if it makes sense to you take it. If not, don’t worry about it, just reject it. So I was reading these books. And somehow I was not able to put all these things together. There are two perspectives I developed. And I want to give those two here. The first thing I did is I looked at myself, I said, I’m a human. And I’m trying to figure out life. I’m trying to piece it all somehow together. It’s not working. So instead of saying I’m a human, and I’m trying to figure out life, why not I tell myself, I am life. And I will figure out what humans are. You see these two words by shifting them around. My whole world opened up and ever since human problems did affect me. But it never crippled me. They never took the brain space or hot space. They say never at a level that the way they did in the past. Some people say, Oh, I was young, then I have grown up now so I can deal with problems better. Not true.

Not true, if you develop a perspective early on, then it doesn’t matter how young you are. You should be able to deal with things better. So moving around saying that I’m a life and I’ll figure out humans are human Ness was a much easier approach as compared to I’m human. I want to figure out life. So try this perspective, and let me know how it works for you. And you don’t need to do it for a long time, just try it out for about maybe 10 days or 15 days, and let me know. The second perspective is that which is inside is bigger and better than that which is outside. And there are numerous quotes on this, there are numerous books written on this concept. But then this perspective shift completely changed my life, I’ll tell you how I arrived at this, let’s talk about the outside part for a second. The outside part is this, you know, the average human size, when we look at humans, is about 1.7576 meters. That’s how tall we are, you know, from outside. And, and you take that height, and you compare that when and we are 750 times taller than an act. Pretty simple. That gives you a scale that gives you a range. And let’s take our 1.75 meters, we take that and look at the world the Earth. Earth is 3.5 million times larger than us the human, the average human. Interesting, I read that many, many years ago, I could be wrong on this. But I’m pretty close to 3.5 million times larger than an average human. The outside, now let’s talk about the universe for a second. Because you know, one of the things every time I do as an exercise, I talked about this here also, numerous times on the podcast is when you start thinking about the cosmos, the universe, the multiverse, and everything that exists a bow over us. It’s big, it’s huge. And it tells us that we have nothing. So our time here is 100 years. It may sound like it’s a lot. But a majority of those years, you know, 5030 4050 years, most people spent those years without knowing what they’re doing. And by the time you really figured out who you are, you have very limited time left, usually depleted energy levels. And no focus, no drive to do anything meaningful. Maybe a small window exists very rarely you meet people who come up and say and I’m 70 years old, I figured out who I am going to spend next 30 years trying to build this incredible company or do this incredible charity all that most, most people don’t, very rarely people start something at that age and really become successful exception being the KFC, Colonel Harland Sanders, and all that. So there are some exceptions, but mostly not the data doesn’t show that so 100 years of life.

Now take that and look at the universe 13 point 8 billion years old, our universe, the visible universe is 46 billion light years. Okay. That’s how far it takes. That’s how far we have seen so far. Okay. 46 billion light years. So if you put yourself in the center, and which consider yourself the center of the universe, and around you, you can see 46 billion light years beyond that we haven’t yet gone. But now, the James Webb telescope is in place. Maybe we’ll see when you know, we can reach even farther out but you get the idea. 46 Billion Light Years 13 point 8 billion years our universe that’s how old this is still expanding. You know, we are the outer world we look into the outer world we are insignificant. Okay, totally insignificant. Now, talking about light years. You know how far a light year is very simply speaking, 9 trillion miles, I’m sorry, 9 trillion kilometers, 6 trillion miles. That’s how much distance light covers in one year. And I think about it and I thought about this 15 years ago. I will I felt so irrelevant. And even today as I’m recording this podcast, I feel so insignificant today, just about life. And here we are trying to fight with everyone on everything and trying to make sense of all this.

Talk about inside for a second. What is inside of us, inside of us is 23 chromosomes from the mom and 23 chromosomes from the dad, depending whether, you know, you got that in an XX format or XY format, whatever that is, and the X, Y chromosome combinations create eight points roughly 8.3 million different combinations your chromosomes could have. And out of all that you in this shape in this form is unique. A few seconds later, had it been a nanosecond delayed, you could be somebody else completely, but you are who you are, I am who I am in that combination at that moment right there, at that moment, had it been delayed by a few seconds 1/10 of a second will be different. And within us, and there are 7 billion of us, all of us roughly walking, moving around. And each one of us at any point in time in a given day, we are processing about 10,000 thoughts. Now, take that into account 10,000 thoughts a day roughly are 4000 which, whatever you follow with your book you read, they all are different, but you get the idea. The human brain is producing that many thoughts processing that many thoughts. So the scale within us see, and one pot, one pot will change this world multiple times. over many, many years, we’ll go back and look at the history. It taught changed the world. And I’ll tell you there is some kid born right now somewhere who is about to change the world. So many outside things compared to which we are insignificant, so many insides of us compared to which we are significant.

The significance here is that we could have been somebody else but we are here. And the significance being that, you know, we have the knowledge, the know-how this life, this awareness This presents. And all of that is unique to us. And we should be doing things that are taking this as a gift. Instead, we are caught up talking about politics, and religion, we are caught up talking about economy taxes, caught up talking about how life has been just wrong to us, doesn’t add up. It doesn’t add up in any which way. Instead, what I told them in the room is it doesn’t add up, you are just wasting away your time. If you want to release these feelings, then go change your thoughts. Because know which way to alter feelings unless you change your thinking. And good thoughts only come in when you start putting some good information into you. So your information input is incorrect. Go read that read people read books. I talk about that all the time here on the podcast. Maybe your thoughts will change because you’re reading. And because of that, your feelings could change. And the need to build a perspective. Don’t read because you want to say oh, I read one book this week. I read one book every week, I should do that. But that was the small me back in the day. I used to tell people I read one book a week. Doesn’t make any sense. Now when I look back, it’s so silly to say I read one book a week. It’s not about reading. I wish I could read one book today, a week. Right now. Given the perspective I have that it makes sense too I don’t know, I’m limited by other things. I like other things. So I try to read one book a month now maybe in two months or three months. Sometimes I miss my schedule and all that but you get the point now.

You could bet I’m going with this tool. You think you lack potential, you lack skill, you lack time, you lack resources. Not true. You have what it takes. And all this is a gift all this is a blessing. But due to lack of perspective, have you know we run the risk of squandering everything away. And these two things that, you know, I’m an I’m life trying to figure out humans and what is inside of me is bigger than what is there outside even the outside is much bigger. I stand in significant in front of the outside, but I stand significant what I have inside completely shifted my perspective I hope these are the two things I was telling them to study. These are the two things I’m sharing with you on the podcast.

Hopefully, this is helpful. Hopefully, this gives you an idea. This gives you rage. Your understanding gives you the scale. Hopefully, if it does, it helps you shift your mind. Let me know. That’s all for now. I’ve gone too far today, wherever you are. Maybe it’s Tuesday for you, maybe it’s, it’s already Wednesday for you wherever you are, be safe. And keep listening. Keep supporting, keep commenting. That way. I know that I’m doing something here, which is meaningful. And I’ll so that I preserve my perspective here. That’s all for now. I’ll catch up with you as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned. Bye now.

How To Break Free From One-Sided Expectations In Relationships

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If you’re seeking balance in your relationships, then today’s podcast episode is for you. Welcome, or welcome back to Success with Srini. Ever since this podcast became a daily podcast, I have been coming here and talking about multiple different topics with the idea and intent that every topic brings a new level of awareness to any listener who’s listening. And so if you are a first-time listener of this podcast, thank you. And if you’re a repeat listener, that means you are subscribed to this podcast, then appreciate your support. Appreciate your questions. And as a result of my answering questions on this podcast, your questions, I am growing myself personally. So thank you for your support. Now, I have done multiple podcast episodes, talking about creating balance in life. But today, I’m specifically focusing on relationships. Because this is something that I have seen people talk to me in offline conversations, I’ve seen people express their feelings about how they’re stuck in disempowering relationships, maybe at home, maybe at work, doesn’t matter. But then they are feeling those negative emotions. So not any specific question I’m answering. But this is a collective observation that I have when I talk to people. So what is a one-sided relationship? Specifically, what is the one-sided expectation, it’s very simple, one-sided expectations happen in relationships, clearly, and one-sided expectations happen because one individual in a relationship thinks that he or she is not getting what they’re putting in simply.

So two people, let’s say, let’s take that as an example, two people, you and your partner, you, your spouse, you, your boss, your coworker, any two individuals, any two things, when two people come together, they define some rules, some boundaries, some expectations, all those things happen. Expectations are the basis of relationships, there are four things that are seen that are now known to play. Every time two people come together, they put in the time to make the relationship work, they put in some energy to make the relationship work, they put an effort to make the relationship work, and sometimes human money. And as long as whatever you’re putting in, you are getting back proportionally. That means there is some reciprocity, you’re putting something in, you’re getting something back, then it’s equitable, or the balance is there. And sometimes you may not get back exactly the same amount that you’re putting in. And that’s okay. But as long as you see that the other individual is putting in the effort.

For example, I come here on this podcast, I keep saying that, here is a question here is the question I’m answering John Jane, who would ask me some questions, I’m going to play their questions, I’m going to refer to their questions I’m going to keep on answering. And I keep on saying, Hey, if you have a question, ask. And you don’t ask the question. Let’s say, maybe you’re listening to this podcast, but you’re not asking questions. So guess what happens to me? At one point, I feel I’m putting in the effort, I’m not getting any response. It’s very natural for that to happen. So I’m putting in the time I’m putting in energy and I’m putting in the effort, maybe not money, let’s take money aside. Let’s put money aside. But then there is something that is going in but let’s say nothing is coming out. My expectation is not that I don’t have that expectation that you have to ask a question, but I’m just making an example out of it. So in this relationship, the balance is broken. So when I’m asking for something I’m not getting, then the balance is broken. Now the vendor balance is broken. It’s to me, but I can’t explain that. Now let’s take that as an example and look into your relationship, whatever relationship that you have got going. So you’re putting in you’re doing all the work, and you’re not getting the response from your partner from the spouse, and there’s no reciprocity. Now, you have a situation there are a few things that we now know that displays that clearly point out that the balance in the relationship is broken. And there are many examples, but I want to see if I can quote one or two examples here. The first one is let’s say you plan things you think your plan but then your partner cancels the plan without even asking you because they have something else that has come up.

Now this is okay, in a boss and employee relationship happens so looking, but then this is very difficult to digest in a personal relationship, you plan what they’re casting the plans, what when they cancel, they’re okay to cancel the plan. If they schedule a plan, or they plan something out, they’re okay to cancel it, and they don’t provide a consequence while they’re doing it. But when you plan, they can cancel it, because they have something else to do. See, that’s the lopsided relationship right there. And let’s say that there are some, you know, we see behaviors and relationships. If your behavior is incorrect, then you are called out. If their behavior is incorrect, then they can take any excuse. That’s lopsided right there. The same goes with activities too. You know, they can schedule some activities or things to do. And they get angry if you don’t participate in that activity. So you have to cancel your activities to participate in that activity. Even they schedule activities. But if you do, if you do the same thing, then they get angry, something like that. So you have these things. These are some examples. I’m just speaking them from the top of my mind, but you get an idea. That means you the net, the net outcome from all this is you feel you’re insecure in the relationship, you feel you don’t have any say, and you feel, you don’t get what you’re putting in. And you feel rattled, you feel the discomfort you feel, you know something is not right. And you feel that in your gut, you don’t look for any examples or any proof, you feel it. That’s when you know the balance is not there. But when you know that no matter what you’re putting in, you’re not getting. I’ve seen people tell me that there are so many expectations that they have to meet on a daily basis, that they have forgotten their own identity, and who they are. They’ve forgotten to do the basic things for themselves, this is hard.

I remember one time, my mother told me this. She said I got so busy after I married your dad after I came into the house that I forgot to meet my side of the family for over 10-15 years. That’s a long time. Now, if you will forget when you don’t talk, I see that now. As I live outside of India, some of my relatives have forgotten who I am. They know me. But you know, that affection that the notion of love that connection goes away dissipates. So I was fulfilling the expectations that were put on me that I forgot what should I expect. And my expectations of you went up after you were born. Because this is mine. You are mine. So I started building up the expectations after I started having my children. That was a profound saying from my mom. And it kind of just so dominant on my mind. When we talk about relationships, we’re talking about relationships today. So it’s kind of I had to go there because I was trying not to give the example on the podcast, but I had to go there, just the mind went there. So now what can you do? Question see, there are two ways to live this life. Either you expand your reality, or you curtail or you squeeze your expectations. Depends on you depends how much you are willing to put in so that you can free yourself from this. I tell people to expand their reality. I never tell people to get rid of their expectations. It’s very hard. You know, we are wired to expectations. So I say listen, let’s expand the realities. Let’s look into all the things that we need. Let’s look at you know what needs to be done. So, when we start thinking about expanding our reality, the few things that come up is the gap or the distance what is the distance between where you stand and where your partner stands? And what can you do to bridge the gap between the distance then comes focus and concentration? Should you focus more now on the things that are going to make you happier.

What is the cost of that focus? Then comes you know distraction. Does it make sense for you to distract yourself and act As if nothing exists? That way, you don’t feel it anymore? Is it possible that you go back and look into the past glories that you had, and constantly keep your mind on the past? And move on with the day-to-day work, like the day-to-day expectations so that you don’t feel the pain? Is it possible that you can zoom or zone into the future, think about the future a lot, and forget about the pain that you’re going through? Now, the different ways to do this. But these are some of the things that you have to look into. The way my mom explained it to me is I was looking into the future. Wherever you want to focus, wherever you want to concentrate, I think it will pay, it will pay off, there is going to be a payoff one day, but it’s how you want to deal with the current situation. So either, you know, look into the future, or take over the past, or act as if nothing exists, so that you don’t get the pain, you don’t get this feeling that you know, I’m doing everything, I’m not getting something in return. And here’s what we know, people who are violently attached to each other, they are difficult to be separated. See, the more violence in the relationship, the more difficult it is to separate the partners. It’s weird, but that’s how it works. Okay, my idea was very simple, so that you understand reciprocity in the relationship. So sometimes you get positive things coming your way, sometimes you get negative things coming your way, you do something good, but some negative, get bad in return. Sometimes you get some generic stuff and return it even though you do your best. And I’ve seen it all. And the idea is that you want to be in a situation or you want to go or grow into a situation where you have equitable reciprocity. That means you know that whatever you’re getting is much bigger than what you put in so that you go come back and put more into it.

This is something that this how we build great relationships. And you know, a commitment I made to myself, I want to build great relationships and turn a relationship around. So my idea of today’s podcast was that I drive this point that you can turn any relationship around by simply putting, you know, looking at this, understanding the problem, and then coming up with some thoughts around Hey, how do I bridge the gap? Where do I focus? Where do I concentrate? And how can I act? How can I react to everything that’s happening? And then give it some time so that the relationship that you think was gone or over now suddenly becomes equitable? You know, the typical relationship. That’s all for now, wherever you are, be safe, and I will catch up with you as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned. Thank you.

The 10 POWER WORDS – Spoken Daily, Will Change Your Life!

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Welcome back. Happy Sunday morning to you on the podcast today. I’m not answering a question, not a question from a listener of this podcast or a listener of my radio show. I have about 14 more questions to answer. I have a lot of questions, seriously speaking, but I was looking for a window where I could kind of take some time and speak something that I have on my mind that I think will bring some value to you your life. And I was looking for that window. It so happens that today is Sunday. I thought I’ll do this. But I respect your questions. I get pleasure from your questions in the sense that I’m being put to work. I go, I do the research if I don’t know the answer, and I take absolute immense pride in responding to you. And every time I create an answer podcast here, I know deep within my heart that it’s going to help you. That’s the conviction I have to this podcast is a rant, and also a story, a story in the form of a rant.

You know, I am notorious by when talking about public speaking and all the challenges I had. And I continue to have the speaker, English is not my first language. And I never really went to a school that really taught me English, through the first 10 years of my schooling, and English was my third or fourth language. And everything that I speak is, and the way I say has a lot to do with years and years and years of living in America and traveling the world and all that. So this is a hard-learned language. It’s very difficult. It’s a whole different story when you are speaking to people in it, day-to-day normal conversation. When you are on a public platform, on radio, on a podcast, and on YouTube, and all that place all these places. It’s very difficult. Because I don’t know, you know, sometimes I mess up my words, my phrases, and all that. And sometimes I lose my thought, my intent, it’s very hard. So recently, just a few days ago, I talked about my vocabulary base. Last year, also on this podcast, I talked about my vocabulary base and the number of words I have. And I said 800, 700 to 800 words, maybe at the most now back then maybe 100 200 300. And in contrast, my children who are just entering high school, in that age range, they have 30,000 words in their vocabulary. So they can articulate, they can present they can speak, they can convey things much faster and very eloquent in what they do and how they do as compared to every time as compared to me. And I knew this from the beginning. So how can we overcome this there are chances that you might be going through this also. And there is no harm in acknowledging the fact that, you know, we have a deficiency and what can be done to overcome this. So here, I want to today on this podcast, I’m gonna share with you 10 words, that completely changed my life. And these are the words that I use every single day, as much as they can. But these 10 words, if I go back and look into all the presentations have done, this podcast, radio shows, workshops, seminars, consultations, even at work, when I used to work, all the words that I have used these 10 words extensively I have used, and I continue to use these words, and I’m going to give you these words because if you bring in these words into your vocabulary and your speech and your day to day, daily speaking, I know your life’s gonna change. And you can’t put any monetary value on this. I could, because I’m in the space, but there’s no monetary value. Don’t worry about it. We are only talking about intrinsic value. And that’s all I want you to see. If you want to become a good speaker, you will speak constructively. And you will speak with impact and influence. That’s what you need, by the way, and all of us need that. So why Why speak constructively because the majority of the people in the day-to-day conversations speak destructively.

I listen to people I talk to people I see the patterns through which they speak. And most of the time destructive is destructive because unknowingly they use the same words of the use phrases where they come across as if they’re criticizing the speaker. They think that criticizing the content or a topic that the speaker is other individually saying, but then the way they respond, they end up criticizing the speaker, who, by the way, is not at fault. But they do. And sometimes, depending upon what the competition is, there are certain words they say, that lead to some confrontation. And that’s not the way it should be. So why do you want to confront somebody with words, and when you don’t mean that anyway, to begin with, some Why would do. And sometimes I’ve seen people make extreme statements, like using words like, it’s always like this, or it could never be like that. You see, the world doesn’t operate like that. And the truth is always somewhere in the middle, can’t be, you know, always can’t be never somewhere in the middle. In I’ve seen this. And at the end, the outcome is the entire conversation, whether it’s for an hour or two or five minutes, whatever it is, ends up being nonconstructive, destructive, what should we do, we should be energizing the listener, we should be putting positivity into the listener, we should be as we speak, we use the words we are supporting them, we are caring for them, creating the comfort will bring the trust, we are creating that and most fear where the other individual has to feel that they are secure. That’s how we should operate. But we don’t. And it doesn’t. It’s not difficult. It doesn’t take a lot to do the change if you are going through it. So these are the 10 words that change my life.

Okay, there were some more words, but then these are only 10 words, literally, I use. The first word is amazing. If you go back and listen to two or three prior podcast episodes, you’ll see me using the word amazing, a lot. This word I use at least 20 times a day. But I’m writing or I’m speaking 20 times a day. And maybe today’s podcast is the only place where I did not use the word amazing. In a way that sounds like a part of the narrative. This is only today’s exception, but on the podcast, I frequent myself with this word. And what one is amazing. Number two is incredible. Number three is remarkable. Number four is outstanding. Number five is extraordinary. Number six is spectacular. Number seven is wonderful. Number eight is marvelous. Number nine is incredible. Number 10. Phenomenal. I used to do a success tip for three minutes on the radio for about six years, every day in the morning. And I used to end up end that success day by using the word phenomenal. You have a phenomenal day, something like that I used to say, people used to tell me later on the hurt that success tip so many times repeatedly. Over the years, every time they used to see me they would end up saying every time we hear the word phenomenal, you come to our mind. Because we have heard you say this so many times at my seminars, people have told me this. So these are the 10 words, I repeat myself in every conversation as much as possible. And so that it’s seamless, it has to be seamless, not like you keep on dropping these words everywhere, but seamless. Now, when you use these words, you have to mean it right? Otherwise, it doesn’t, they don’t create impact. So overall, it keeps my mental state in sync. And it gives me you know, allows me to clear the care and comfort in the listener’s mind and gives me leverage also, as I’m doing this. Now, there are two other things I also do and this is for you, if you know me, you know within close quarters, and we met or we have spoken to each other and you know we have some kind of a prior working relationship. I use a statement. So this is a friend of mine calling somebody who you know, I speak to maybe once every six months, eight months in a movie professional friend. And I’ve used this all the time every somebody calls me I go like this, right? Ladies and gentlemen, the man the myth, the legend, the one and only, and then I use the name whoever is calling. Let’s say John is calling. I said ladies and gentlemen, the man the myth, the legend, the one, and only John, right.

And then I go into the call. I like a complete change in the temperature of the conversation. John wouldn’t be calling him feeling a sad little bit depressed, a little bit off a little bit all that and it’s possible that John might be in a very bad state calling me right but I completely change the entire Congress, you know, conversation and I now set the frame to move forward from here. That’s the idea behind sounds awesome. Makes them feel good. Okay. The second line I use in conversations is Hey, big man, something like that, like, every call hit big man something, right, depending upon on my leverage how much leverage I have with that individual. I use these two lines, you know, in a funny way, but then sets the frame. Yeah, so these are the words 10 Words, that changed my life and continue to change my life. And these are the two lines that I use every time I meet people just to kind of make them feel good about who they are. And in a pump them up. And so that I get to hear good things from them. Whatever time I’m spending with them.

That’s all. Hopefully, this is helpful. Because this is something that you know, every time you record a podcast like this, where you have to come up and share something from your own site. Sometimes it’s very hard for me to assess whether this is really creating any impact. Is it of any help? I have no idea. So you have to let me know. So listen to this on YouTube, maybe on the podcasting app, wherever you are listening to this, that should be a place for you to write a comment, rate, podcast, and all that. So please do that. And I’ll be back with my questions. Hopefully as early as tomorrow, depending upon what happens between now and tomorrow. Maybe I’ll get on the idea or something like that. Then we’ll come back with one more rant. But that’s all for now. You be safe, and I’ll be talking to you. Bye now.