How to Build Unshakeable Self-Confidence in 3-Steps

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome, or welcome back. Happy Saturday morning to you on the podcast today. Again, I’m answering a question from a listener of my radio show, asking me about why he loses confidence. He says I’m well accomplished. I’m doing very well, professionally, and personally. I’m also very careful with money, finances and all. But people around me tell me that I should have a little bit more courage in doing things. And I should be more assertive, I feel I’m not assertive. And I think I lacked confidence. I tried many things. I heard you talk about hypnosis. So I wanted to find out if hypnosis works. Specifically, when it comes to confidence, is there anything that you can do? Okay, so clearly this, I completely paraphrase this whole question, but you get the idea. So, here’s how I responded to the question. And this podcast, today’s recording, is just simply a representation of what I told this gentleman. So yes, the mind, every time we go through something, mind is always looking for the most simplistic path to the outcome, we want to get over the pain and want to get over the suffering. So this gentleman has a great challenge, which he thinks he could accomplish more, if he could just overcome this hurdle, of confidence.

Now dropping confidence in a situation is very common, even the most elite professionals accomplished, you know, artists, musicians, sports, persons, that drop confidence, and we see their performance going down, we see them going out a form, and all that. So the loss of confidence could happen to anybody at any point in time, it’s very difficult to contain the mind and stay fully concentrated, and keep working on whatever agenda is very hard. That too over a long period of time, is very hard. So can hypnosis help? The answer is yes, but that’s not what I’m doing. That’s not what I’m sharing here. Or I’m not going deep into explaining or taking the route of hypnosis, specifically on the podcast here. But I want to address this in a very generic way that any and everybody regardless of their situation, and regardless of whether they’re interested in hypnosis, or they might be interested in something else, doesn’t matter. This should work for them. That’s my intent in doing this. Now, there’s also another aspect to this, I have personally gone through this, where I lost confidence, across multiple timelines, at different stages of my life on different things. And over the years, I came up with a three-step formula on how to address this. And ever since I started doing this, I have never lost confidence. Regardless, of overall confidence or specific confidence, let’s say a new product is coming up, I need to work at it. I use this formula, and it never fails. So I’m taking an excuse with this question, to share this formula. Now, I’m not saying again that you should not try hypnosis, hypnosis is the fastest way to really instill concentration in still focus. And if this is an issue that is coming from the unconscious part of the mind, absolutely, totally, no second thoughts. But sometimes we also need to do something at a conscious level. So I’m going to address the conscious part here.

There are three things to this. And the three actors in this, the first actor is you. The second actor, other people around you. And the third factor is the unknown. So let’s talk about the first actor, which is you. You see if you analyze the last 24 hours, the last 48 hours, the last 72 hours of everything that you have done. Let’s say you have a camera following you all over the place, let’s say you start documenting the smallest things, smallest least things that you do, you brushed your teeth, or maybe you change your clothes, or maybe you just walked into the kitchen or something, even the smallest things, you start documenting, you will be amazed how many successes you had throughout the day, throughout these two days or three days. But you have to document the problem that people is they do not document that which they do. They say I did this in the morning. I did that in the evening. And in between, I did a few other things throughout the afternoon. But they never really give a specific count on all the activities that they have done.

And if you start looking into all the successes you had, you don’t need much proof anymore. You don’t need any other validation because You did something well. And that’s all there is to this. There is nothing else. Interesting. So you start tabulating all the successes you had. And you also had some failures, maybe you attempted doing a few things that didn’t work out. That’s okay. So you start comparing these two things, and you’ll see they did like maybe 60, 70 things incredibly well. And then maybe two or three things that did not work out for you throughout the day. The mind by default goes into these two or three things and starts creating an identity and narrative around, oh, I am not able to do this, maybe I’m not good at this. All these things are happening in the subconscious. So now you’re detached, you’re removed. And then there are people around who are constantly expecting us to perform, and they in their own moods and melodies, they end up saying things to us, you’re not good, or maybe you’re not capable, something like that, that affects our ego. And now we are even further down the drain.

So the only way to overcome this cautiously is to start tracking things that you’re doing big, small, all kinds of projects that you have on your hand that you do over a period of time, maybe a day or two or three days, and you start looking at them and the brain is looking for validation. And you see these things that you have accomplished throughout the day. That should bring back some level of confidence. Unless you sit there completely invalidating yourself. If that is the case, then you may need some intervention. And hypnosis is a good intervention mechanism. The second is others. The second is others. Now, do you have people in your life who might have gone through the same situation that you are going through right now? Is it possible that your grandfather, your grandmother, or your great great grandfather might have gone through the same challenges that you are going through right now? If not, just make up that thought because there’s some truth to it. Generations and abattoirs went through some difficult challenges. Of course, they did not have cell phones and Wi-Fi’s and social media, and all that stuff. But then they did go through a whole different set of challenges that we are not going through. So you start analyzing their story, whatever, you know, you’ll start seeing, you know, you’ll start relating, and this is why I watch old movies, you know, old movies, you know, they give you the pictorial representation of what was happening 100 years ago, 50 7060 years ago, it’s amazing. If you start thinking that way.

One other way is that you should spend some time reading maybe five or six different biographies, life stories of other people, other successful people. And if you do, if you read 10 books, 10 life stories of 10 people, the chances are and you got to be very judicious, you got to be very clear. In your mind, if you read 10 Or five, there’s a high possibility for sure in time, because I’ve gone through it, if you read 10 life stories, then there shouldn’t be a situation that one individual, out of these 10 stories might have gone through the one that you are going through right now. It’s very hard that none of these 10 Successful people who accomplished a lot became well known on whom books were written. And who wrote books also. And that they have not gone through the problems that you are going through. When I say you, I mean me also, it’s very rare that happens. Okay, so that is there. So I suggest you read books, okay. And if you’re very if you can take your mind there, look into all the relatives, you have all the friends you have and their parents and their friends, and you start finding people and you start kind of putting yourself in their shoes and, and questioning. Did these people go through the problems that I’m going through right now? How did they come back? What was their bounce back? And you start thinking that way, then your lack of confidence completely goes away, and you’re like, okay, like, maybe I don’t have after all my challenges don’t matter. Like that’s where we are taking the mind. Then comes the unknown. And I say unknown because you can fill that unknown part with God, or with a higher power or whatever you believe in.

And here’s what I do in this category, which is if you wake up in the morning, and you start saying thanks for everything like you’re doing a class Water, you say I’m thankful I’m bringing a glass of water, you dry, you get into your car you drive. I’m thankful I’m driving the car. So you talk to a friend, oh, I’m thankful my friend is talking to me or spoke to me, you send an email or thank you for loving me this internet, right? So I’m thankful now that this podcast is getting recorded, I’m 10 minutes or 12 minutes into it. I’ll put an intro and outro and all those things, but roughly at about maybe 10 or nine minutes into the podcast right now. I’m thankful it’s working now. At least I have something to share with you. And I feel good about what I’m sharing with you. So that’s also important. start becoming thankful for the least things. Then there isn’t a moment where you are unhappy or rejected or dull or any of that stuff. So suddenly your pain and this agony you have what whatever things that are not working in your life kind of goes into the backburner because you’re clouding your front-loading your emotions, your mind with a positive and gratitude-driven emotion. So amazing.

This exercise does brilliant things. In fact, they did a reverse experiment on this. About four years ago, when I started texting people, like somebody texts me or somebody emails me, I start the first line with I’m sorry, it starts with I’m sorry. And sorry, I and did a whole podcast on this, saying when I say I’m sorry, I’m giving that you let’s say you’re getting an email from me, and I start with I’m sorry, I’m giving you the power. And I it puts me in a very good position. It doesn’t take it doesn’t diminish me. But at the same time, it doesn’t diminish you obviously, that’s obviously the point. But then it doesn’t do any harm to anyone. Some people say I can’t say that it’s against my ego. You know, I didn’t experiment. In fact, as a result of doing this my quality of life in general, my daily quality life started going up. It’s an interesting experiment, which by the way, I continue to do. So there is a high possibility that if you’ve ever gotten an email from me, and you’ll listen to this podcast, then go back and look into some of my emails, you’ll find me using sorry. And I genuinely say that dogs have become part of my life. So I really, I paint myself below everyone. I don’t I even paint myself above. I never walk into a conversation, or in a situation thinking I know more than that individual. It doesn’t I don’t do this podcasting. I know more than, you know the way. I have no idea who’s listening to this, how can I say no more than you? It doesn’t. In fact, that’s my last thing. Now I’m like, I don’t know anything. Let me make an attempt. Let me record something. Let’s see what people say. As simple as that. So it will become tangible to the smallest things. It’s a good life. So three things you others and God, or unknown or higher power, whatever. And I promise you, this should bring you back into life. That’s the first step to gaining confidence. Try doing this a few times, we are going to a challenge. That’s exactly what I told this gentleman via email. And of course, there are many tools that are available and many different mechanisms. And there are many different interventions that you can try to overcome confidence-related issues and confidence. Also, when you have a confidence issue, that could be some other underlying issues. Also, this experiment, this three-step process also addresses those underlying things also.

Okay, that’s all for now. I hope this is helpful. If it is do me a favor. Write a comment, wherever you’re listening to this, maybe you’re watching this on YouTube, there should be a place for you to comment you’re listening to this on a podcasting app should be a place for you to write a comment to and rate the podcast. That’s all for now. I never intended this podcast to become at this code this longer, but once I’m dialed in, I’m really dialed in. So whatever little bit of the Saturday you have, depending upon where you are in the world, enjoy your Saturday and I’ll catch up with you as early as tomorrow. Thank you.

3 Proven Tactics to Help You Speak With Confidence (Even If You’re Shy)

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back. On today’s podcast, I want to extend the conversation I started yesterday. Now yesterday on the podcast, I talked about the five ultra secrets of ultra entrepreneurs, and five secrets of ultra entrepreneurs. And I said I was sharing these five secrets as a part of the mastermind, an impromptu mastermind, not during that mastermind. And there was a question about speaking, presentations, influence, and specifically how to create confidence as you speak. And I kind of took over from there, the question was meant for somebody else, and the discussion was happening on the call. And I took over that conversation, I said, I have, over the years figured out a small little formula. And I shared the formula. And I want to share this with you today on the podcast because doesn’t matter, maybe you are in a job situation right now, maybe you have a business, but all of us at any given point in time, is presenting, I’m presenting now, as I’m speaking. And this is gonna help. So let me know if it does.

Now I’ve condensed this, there is a bigger version of this. But this is how this goes. There are three rules in my mind, every time I make a presentation, or every time I’m about to speak, there are three rules I have, in my mind, I have a rule of many, I have a rule of few. And I have a rule of one. So the rule of many works like this. In order to become a good speaker, who speaks with confidence, you need to read a lot of books. There is no shortcut to reading books. And this is my third or fourth podcast in the last week, when I’m talking about books, I’m referring to books, you read a lot, and there is no shortcut. So a lot of reading of books, then a lot of reading of people, you got to study people, you got to study cultures, you got to study languages, you got to study everything that has to do with people, including their moods, their melodies that like their dislikes. Now, once that is done, you spend hours, literally hours preparing yourself, to study the audience. Now, there is a difference between studying people and studying audience studying people is in general, you study so that you build a base and understanding and kind of develop yourself. Studying the audience means that you are just, let’s say, I’m speaking somewhere I’m speaking now. So I know the audience. And I want to keep my construct or the boundaries of my speech specific to the listeners of this podcast. I’m wanting to come here and talk about surgeries, I want to talk about topics that are not necessarily to this audience. So the audience has a need for you as a listener, you have a need, and I need to cater to that need. So studying the audience, when you step into a room, and you have a bunch of people sitting in the room, you need to understand why they are there. You don’t want to be talking about something that has absolutely no context has no meaning has no relevance, then you end up talking to yourself. And I see that happening with a lot of speakers also. So studying the audience is essential. You spend hours if not days studying the audience, it’s better to get an idea of who you’re talking to, what are their expectations, and what kind of value is created for them. So this is my rule of many. And there are many other attributes I could add to this category. But this is the rule of many for myself, then, the rule of you.

Now the rule of few has a few things, a few things that anybody and everybody should do as a speaker. The first one is the voice. Your voice has to be preserved. You need to have a control command on you can’t be coming here and saying doesn’t make sense? You see doesn’t make sense. I see that speakers do a lot that they clear their throats in the middle of the presentation 10 times. No. So the voice should not choke the voice should not give up should not lose its amplitude should not lose its force. None. It has to be clear. And you’ve got to have a resounding voice as if you’re recording as you’re speaking. Why is a culture very important. I wish I should come back I’ll do a whole different podcast on this one. Then comes from memory, I just have speaker memory. Something that I’m really scared of as I’m aging because what if I’m in the middle of a good presentation and I suddenly forget a story or suddenly forget an experience that I want to share. But I have it in mind as a start as a beginner. But then along the way, 10-15 minutes into the presentation, I forget that story. Or I share the first part of the story, I don’t share the second part because I’m looking for a logical way to bring it back. But then my time is up, or my presentation is done. And then I forget, oh, you know, I forgot to talk about the ending of the story. And I had my ending before the story ended, happens to speakers got to be very careful with your memory.

Hence, practice comes in, then comes vocabulary, the words that you say, and the words you use. And I said this before I was raised, born, and raised. When I was done, by the time I came to my 12th grade, I only had about 800 English words in my thinking, and my children, my kids, through the, by the time they’re done with their 12th grade, they’ll have 30,000 words in their vocabulary. So there’s a huge difference in the way because of the words. And because they have a stronger vocabulary base, they can articulate a sentence in a certain way that I cannot and I struggle, I go round and round and round. So a part of the culture involves one of the few things is to increase the vocabulary. So you got to be learning new words, as much as possible, whenever possible, then comes to delivery. Delivery is the phrases you use the idioms you use the pace, the momentum that you use as a part of the way you speak, all that. So the fluctuations, the swings that you make, as you are saying a specific sentence, the pauses, use the silence to inject all that comes in. So this is the second category rule of view. And then the last category is the rule of one, which is, as I’m speaking, in my mind, I want to deliver one value to you as a listener, just one value. One thing of off value, not one value, one thing of value. I have no idea what that is. So I have a few things in my mind. But one thing is for sure. So this is where the study of the audience comes in.

So the study is right, then the value creation happens. So I want to deliver one incredible value to you as a listener, right, you’re listening, then the room may have, you know, 1000s of people, this podcast, hundreds of people listening. So the question becomes can I satisfy everyone? I cannot. So what are my criteria for success? My criteria are that I would at least want to impact one individual. One individual feels they got the value, they got transformed. They had a breakthrough listening to this. So one thing of value I want to deliver is one individual I want to impact. And then in my mind, I can do those two things, if I’m just one step ahead of the audience. So what is one step ahead? The one step ahead means that I will make an attempt to raise the understanding of the audience, just by one step. I’m not there to completely change their life, I’m not there to do something that no other speaker has ever done, or influencer has ever done. None. I just want to take them one step forward. And for me to take them one step forward, I need to be just one step ahead of them. So I can pull them with me. That’s my mindset. Again, how do I pull them? How do I get ahead of them? I prepare I study, I do my homework before I show up. And understand this podcast also has some prep work and has some prep work because I showed up on the mastermind with the prep work. Interestingly, I was not supposed to talk about this confidence and how to public speaking confidence for speaking in public, I was not prepared for that. But incidentally, it so happened that I was prepared. I ran the slides because there was prior preparation from many years ago.

Do you see how things come together? This is how it works. So there’s also a possibility that you are not prepared to listen to this podcast or maybe you’re listening to this podcast for the very first time. It’s funny how the world works. That’s it. This is my simple formula. Rule of money rule a few rule of one. I hope this helps. If it does do me a favor. Should be able to write a comment if you’re watching this on YouTube or they should be placed in the app for you to write a review Read the port cash and all that good stuff that’s all for now wherever you are be safe and I’ll be with you as early as tomorrow. Stay tuned. Bye now.

5 Secrets of Ultra-Successful Entrepreneurs 

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Today on the podcast, I’m sharing something with you that I recently shared with a bunch of business owners and entrepreneurs. Recently, last week, I was speaking to a group of business owners and entrepreneurs. And I was sharing my presentation was the five ultra secrets of successful entrepreneurs. Now, there are many secrets when it comes to entrepreneurs. But according to me, I was sharing the five ultra secrets. These are the five things that I did, or I do, as a part of my entrepreneurial journey. Now, this is I’ll give you the background of this meeting so that everything I’m sharing with you makes sense. So for about five years, I ran an inner circle, where a bunch of us get together, kind of a mastermind, where we share what’s happening in our business life, and what’s happening, not personal life, like personal development stuff. So each one of us will get like 30 minutes or 45 minutes, and we talk about everything that’s happening in the business. And in our life. The idea is that all of us walk away from the room with some great insights.

So we learn from each other. That’s the idea. I’m the mastermind of the mastermind, kind of I’m putting everything together. But I’m not the teacher in the room. Everybody teaches everybody and everybody learns from everyone. So the last time I did a mastermind like this, or the inner circle mastermind, we used to meet once a quarter. And then since last October, we haven’t done this. So just last month, I initiated the call, I said, Hey, guys have been a long time, let’s get together and see where we are. Not that I want to do this going forward. But it was kind of checking on each other and trying to see how each one of us is doing. So as a part of this meeting, I was, I said, there are five things that ultra entrepreneurs do, like super successful entrepreneurs do. And these are the five ultra secrets. And that was the overall presentation, I want to give you a quick snippet of what I shared. And this was a 45-minute presentation. But you will get an idea. And you will get an insight into how I was thinking through this. This is what I do and if you are considering becoming an entrepreneur, or you’re already an entrepreneur, then this will help you. Now if you’re not an entrepreneur, and you’re still listening to this podcast, I promise you everything in life is entrepreneurship.

Anyway, there are many things that you are doing, that are not working, there are many things that you are doing that are working, and most of that has an element of hope, and an element of exploitation anyway. So you will get some value out of today’s podcast, regardless of what stage of life you’re in, and what role you play. This podcast has listeners who are homemakers or students who are retired, who are elderly, who are professionals, and small, different kinds of people listen to the podcast, and I get the feedback. So that’s how I know who is listening. So all of you buy gold with today’s content is that you will benefit from it anyway. So I’m only giving and sharing that which will make sense to you. So you will get like the really the 1% of what I shared in the room. But still, this one person is going to make sense as if it’s 100%. For you, that’s my goal. Okay, so let’s get into this. The first ultra secret is entrepreneurs read and read a lot. And this reading is something that I have been insisting on a lot on this podcast, and also on my radio shows, read, read a lot. And as you read, you do something incredible to your brain, your brain will start behaving as if it’s living that which it’s reading. So input matters. So put in as much as you can. Don’t worry about retention, don’t worry about memory, but just get into the habit of reading a lot. He does incredible things to your understanding. The reason why entrepreneurs read a lot is that entrepreneurs by default are action takers. So if by just reading assimilating and getting information, the action in itself improves, then why not? Why not improve the action? So the read to take action entrepreneurs to the second is entrepreneurs are risk takers. The reason why they take risks is that and I was thinking about this, you know, as an entrepreneur, people give up their savings people give up their houses, people give up their jobs, all kinds of sacrifices they make they are extreme risk takers. I think myself to be an extreme risk taker, and I’ve done some crazy things. Love the risk. Love the risk and sometimes the risk has to do with life also loved that part too. And I’m looking for opportunities to take risk myself.

So you see that entrepreneurs are always chasing opportunities. So they stretch what they have so that they can chase opportunities. So when you stretch something you’re risking for it to break, we all scratch. And entrepreneurs stretch hence, they are risk takers. So the risk is a big element in this. The third one is revenue. Revenue is all the time looking for what can I do to increase revenues? salaries, raise my price, shall I make another offer? Shall I make an upsell and down-sell offer? Or shall I do something? What can I do to raise it? So I add more leads? Or shall I convert existing leads better? Or shall I make more offers to existing customers, which I converted? This is the mindset of constantly thinking and looking into, you know, what can I do to increase revenues? Now if you’re an employee, right now, let’s say you have a job and you don’t have a business, you shouldn’t be asking the same question, What can I do to increase my revenues, and sometimes I hear people telling me, oh, I’m going to go and invest in the stock market. And I’m going to, you know, save or whatever, yeah, all makes sense. But you got to be thinking a lot about whatever ways you can, legally, ethically, morally, in whatever state you are in right now, to increase revenues. And that will involve saving more, or investing more, whatever it is, but you need to start putting pressure on that side of the brain for it to start expanding and thinking so it can create possibilities for you, then entrepreneurs do ultra-secret, the fourth ultra secret is entrepreneurs relate. See, relating means network, and meet people, every interaction, every conversation creates an impossibility. And we don’t know whether it is a revenue possibility, or it’s it’s a co-creation possibility, we do not know what but we know that every relationship or every interaction has some value, that may not be directly a currency value. But it could be some intrinsic value will not know what it is. But it has some. So entrepreneurs keep on building relationships. And a part of the relationship building involves networking and a lot of networking. So there is also another aspect of this relationship building is communication. So I’m an entrepreneur, this is the podcast, I’m communicating with you. If I’m not relatable, and this is not making sense. What will you do? You will listen to me because you may know me or you heard about me, whatever, somebody told you to listen to the podcast, you’re going to tune out. And you may never come back. The data shows now that people who stop listening, perpetually stop listening, it’s hard to bring them back to listen to something.

So there’s a lot of pressure on me. And I need to relate to you in a way that it makes sense. If not, do you. And it’s hard because I’m not listening to you, as I’m trying to make you listen to who I am and what I’m doing here. So there’s a tremendous amount of responsibility and pressure on my end on me to make every conversation I have here more meaningful to you. If not, there is nothing meaningful together we can create. So as an entrepreneur, you have to keep on looking into improving your communication. I talk about it a lot on the podcast, you need to look for ways and means to increase your vocabulary, the way you deliver the way you create emotions, the way you create everything, everything. And I’ve been very vocal about the challenges I have in speaking English because English is not my first language. And I struggle a lot because I’ve studied three different languages in school. And I learned three different ways to convey my feelings. It’s very hard to speak English. I really have to dial in to speak English. Hard, but has to be done. entrepreneurs do network. So keep networking doesn’t matter. You’re an employee, you’re looking for a job network card, and the last one is the fifth one is to recover. Listen, all of us You mean at this minute at this moment, all of us are taking risks. We all are risks risk takers and talked about risk-taking already. But then there’s also one other thing we are doing which we consciously will agree or not agree most people don’t agree. But I want you to agree, which is we are making decisions at this moment right now. Either you are entering into something or you’re exiting something that means you made a decision to get in. And you are making a decision right now to come out so we make decisions by simply reading the quality of the decisions that we’re making that you’re making right now, you raise the quality of your life. So, as an entrepreneur, and specifically in this context, entrepreneurs are trying to raise the quality of the decision-making.

So consequently, they’re making decisions, some decisions play out well in favor, and some do not. And every time there is a wrong decision, there is a setback, there is some regression there, the pullback, they have now recovered very, very quickly. So recovering from losses, recovering from bad investments, recovering from bad client interaction, recovering from a bad personal conversation, whatever it is, entrepreneurs, go through a lot. And recovery is an important element. You get the idea now. So these are the five Rs. The My presentation was the five R’s, the five ultra secrets of entrepreneurs, and I call them the five R’s, read, risk, revenue, relate and recover. I oversimplify this, but I went very in detail, I went very deep into this presentation. Hopefully, you got some value from this. Hopefully, I was able to relate. Hopefully, I was able to read this out. Hopefully, you took it without experiencing any risk.

Hopefully, this will create some revenue for you. Hopefully, you will be able to recover from something that you did, without much knowledge, or some loss you had as a result of today’s podcast. Okay, that’s all for now, wherever you are, be safe, and I’ll be talking to you as early as tomorrow. Thank you.