A Guide To Turning Your Failures Into Success

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

On the podcast today, I’m sharing a simple formula on how you can take any failure you have, and turn it into a success. Something that I tried numerous times with myself. And with several of my coaching clients, this works, I want you to try it. And if you think you found value in today’s podcast, do me a favor if you’re watching this on YouTube, or maybe listening to this on a podcasting app, like, rate, review, comment, and share all the good stuff. Okay, so let’s get into this.

A question has come up numerous times, I’ve seen this with my coaching clients asking me and myself also with myself. So here is how we turn a failure into success. By the way, there are so many other formulas and so many different approaches, my approach is a little bit different. So I want you to listen to this. Very difficult to explain this in an audio format like this. But if I’m running this on a slide, if I’m doing this as a presentation, you’ll get it in a better way than simply listening to this. There are four steps on how you can take any failure you have, and turn that into success. I’m going to walk you through all these four steps. So stay with me. Step number one is you got to acknowledge that, yes, you failed. That’s step number one, the sooner we accept that we failed, you know, we cut down the recovery time. We increase the value of the response and the way we respond to that. And the chances are that this mistake can be rectified or this failure can be overcome in such a way that the second time around it not will happen.

Okay, so step number one is to acknowledge, that most people don’t, and here is the truth about failures. Everybody has encountered failures today. If I measure my day-to-day, since the morning, I woke up already within the last two, or three hours, there are enough mistakes I’ve already made. If I take this podcast right now, two and a half minutes into the podcast, I’ve already made a few mistakes. So mistakes are happening everywhere. And mistakes, in a way are also failures, if you seriously think about it. To acknowledge that there is you failed, or there is a failure or something has gone wrong. That’s the first step. The second step here is instead of taking that on the subject, that is you, instead of you taking Oh, I failed, you say whatever I’m doing failed. So that means you’re now transferring the responsibility onto the object, whatever you are working with, or working through, or whatever the objective is. Now that objective has failed. And the failure isn’t the object itself, not the subject, which is you very important distinction you got to make. And then every failure has lessons. There are some learnings, there are some lessons.

Now, when we talk about lessons, some learnings are obvious. They’re visible, you can see Yeah, I know where I went wrong with this. Those mistakes, they speak to you. They’re obvious, they’re visible. But then there are some that are invisible. What we will do now is we’ll take the obvious one, and we’re going to go to step number three, which is we try to fix it and test it, go to test, we fix it and test it. When we’re fixing and testing. What we’re trying to do here is we’re repeating this, this whole thing one more time, you’re repeating. As we are testing this, there are two outcomes. Either we succeed or we fail. You succeed or fail. If we fail, we go back and repeat. We succeed, then we have a new awakening, we have a new understanding. There is something that is a lesson learned and objective attained. We go back, if we have time, we go back. And we pick up the second lesson and try to fix it. And, again, test it. We test it.

We repeat the whole process, we test it, we succeed, and we now have a new awakening. And then if not we go back and repeat it. There are a couple of things that have to happen as we look through this. Okay. First and foremost is our motivation level has to be consistent. There are some constants here, motivation level constant. As you’re repeating you’re iterating through the process, your motivation level should not go down. This is the reason why this process works effectively when you are working on projects which have themes. That means different people bring different perspectives and people pull the people who are down, up.

Okay. Then the second part, the second con sprint is no fear. See, if you have fear, you will not take chances, you don’t take chances, and there are no lessons learned. And there is no validation of that lesson. So it’s not just about learning a lesson, but also validating that whatever lesson you learned, is also meaningful. That means it works. Okay? Now in life, okay, let’s take this formula four parts to the site first, acknowledging, then identifying the lesson, whatever that is, implementing that lesson, and testing. So if the test is successful, then we have awakened ourselves. If not, then we go back and keep on repeating whatever we learned, so that we succeed, this is very hard. This is not easy. Most people quit. Some people even quit before even trying, but some people quit after the first failure or the second failure. But then your true character is when you go from failure to failure, or disappointment to disappointment, without losing enthusiasm. So you lose enthusiasm, everything is gone, everything is over. Warren Buford said something incredible. He said, there are a few things in life that you need to get right. Only a few things in life, you need to get right. While making sure that those few things, you get right, you should also not do too many things wrong. So if I have to sum this up, I think I got it right. Maybe you get the idea. I think I can get the idea. I don’t know the exact forgot though the exact code. There are three things that we need to get right in this life. Three things, everything else will take care of itself. The first is money, then help, then relationships. Now for you, it could help money relationships, or it could be relationships, help money, whichever way you want to sort this out.

Those are the three things that you need to get, right. And everything else from there on will take care of itself. And here’s the funny part. You are following this formula without knowing over and over again maybe while trying to make money or by trying to gain back help, or we were trying to fix a relationship. You are looping to this. Yeah, and you’re on and on and on. And my idea is this podcast today gave you an insight. If it did, as I said, please write a review. Write a comment. You’re watching this on YouTube. Please subscribe. Please share, please like and press the bell icon, all that stuff on YouTube. That way you can reach more people. Selfish, ask. Okay, that’s all for now. Wherever you are, be safe. And I’ll be here tomorrow with another podcast episode of the day till such time. Bye now.

The Painful Process Of Growth

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Lately, I had been having a lot of conversations about growth. This side of my business is the back end of this podcast, seminar. In my workshops and my radio shows, I work with people. And without their support their help, nothing can happen. And this is the time of the year when we, as a team, get together and we start questioning, we look into all the milestones we set for ourselves at the beginning of the year, and then five months have gone by, we are into the sixth month of this year of 2022. In fact, 161 days have gone by precisely as of today, June the 10th. Today’s a Friday, and talking about Friday, I don’t want to get into a conversation like this on a Friday. But here I am because this is so dominant.

So one of the questions that have been standing out in all these conversations, is why is this process so painful? This growth? Why is this so painful? Growth should be exciting, growth should be fun. But here we are, we are finding that this is painful. So I was in this conversation, and I’ve been telling everyone, yeah, you know, it is painful. It is painful, let’s acknowledge the fact that growth is painful. And as I’m trying to explain to these people, why growth is painful. But the seminar side of me, right, the workshop seminar side of me, the speaker side of me, my job is to create excitement in people and tell them that growth is fun, growth is exciting, and all that. And on the other side, the reverse side of that image is when I’m doing these things, I’m finding it to be painful. So I want to spend a few moments and I want to have this conversation with you. And I want to share some of my thoughts and ideas that I had been sharing with my team. Why is this process painful and what? Why should we enjoy this pain? That’s the point.

You see, what we become is more important than who we are. And that’s the pursuit. Now in that pursuit, there are two things that we are, all trying to do. If you’re looking to change your job, or you’re looking to start a business, or maybe you’re trying to buy a house, maybe you’re trying to get into a relationship, whatever your current context is, you are seeking growth. And every act is nothing but to grow yourself. So if you look deep into yourself, there are two things that you are dealing with. One is you’re trying to become unique. And then you’re also trying to deal with the unknown, as a part of accomplishing that uniqueness. Now, let’s look into these two things uniqueness and the unknown. So as a part of your trying to become unique, you are trying to get some ideas. Maybe you’re trying to create ideas within you or you’re trying to get some ideas from other people around you. But there is a pursuit to bring in new ideas. There is also a pursuit to bring in some new thoughts or create some new thoughts. There is also a pursuit to get some information. And there’s also a pursuit to engage in some activities, and then get some suggestions and also build some insights. A lot going on there. ideas, thoughts, information, activity, suggestions, insights, all these are unknown. All these are unknown. Because you don’t know what idea is going to take you in which direction which thought is going to empower you or disempower you which information is valuable, or not valuable, which activity ads or which activity depletes you which suggestion is going to work for you which is not going to work for you which insight is going to be helpful, which is which one is not going to be helpful, a lot of unknowns.

The one thing we know, as we pursue these unknowns, we are going to end up spending a lot of time we’re going to spend a lot of energy, and effort, and as he suffered, but then that’s okay. What is more painful and this is where this becomes painful, are you start to question trust. You start to compromise trust. Every pursuit that is going to test your beliefs is going to test your values. We will test Your attitudes. And it’s also going to test your relationships. People around you will start questioning you, you yourself in a weak moment, you want to question yourself, what am I doing? It is going to work? Will this add up? Will this make sense? Will I come out to be a winner in all this? That’s the trust part because the trust part is questioned or challenged. That’s when you start to experience pain. And this is the point I was driving with my team. But then the solution to this is that there has to be an undying commitment to exceeding.

So we always every time we encounter pain, we go back to the commitment, we go back to the meaning of why did we commit to this, what was the guiding thought, or leading thought at that point in time that made us commit to this, and go back to that, and then affirm to the commitment. As a team, we affirm that commitment. And by just doing that, we overcome this pain. In this moment, we go back, we start appreciating the ideas, we start liking the thoughts, and all the information, all the activities that we’re engaged in all the insights we are gathering, or creating, and the suggestions that we’re getting. Again, you know, this, this unknown part becomes easier, it doesn’t go away. See, if you are a success-minded individual, and you are in pursuit of creating something, you will always be dealing with the unknown. And most of the time these unknowns are going to challenge your beliefs and values, your relationships, your attitudes, and that is not going to stop. But going back and committing to deleting thoughts, is going to make this process easier. So this was my message to my team. And this is my message to you to go back and commit to the things that you committed in the beginning. And now you are in the middle. This process is making it hard for you. It’s becoming harder for you. And once you start going back to the leading thought, then I promise you this is this will ease your pain and your suffering.

That’s all for now. Don’t want to exceed this. If I go any deeper than violating my Friday principle. Have a wonderful weekend, wherever you are, and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Thank you

How To Attract People

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On the podcast today, I’m answering a question that has come in from a gentleman who was flipping through the radio dial, landed on my radio show, stayed all the way till the end, and then took the time to text me. We went back and forth and then eventually he asked me a question saying, all his life, he struggled to attract people into his life. He’s old. He says He’s old, he calls himself old, then he thinks that time has run out. And he was trying to pick my brain. I said I want to record the answer. And I will make it available as a podcast if that’s okay with him. He said, Yes. So here’s the question.

“I’m 69 years old and I went through a very difficult time for about 40 plus years where I had everybody leave my life. And today, I have difficulty attracting people into my life. And once they are in, I keep them but then it’s very hard for me too, and at this point in time, given this age, I’m just getting worried. I listened to your show, and I got attracted to you.” That’s wonderful. Thank you, John, for the question. Here is the answer. And I think we all have gone through this challenge, or will go through this challenge at some point in our lifetime, make sense to talk about this. So how do you attract people into your life? Here is the three-step formula, not mine again. But here is the three-step formula.

The first and the foremost is to receive, you got to receive people when they come. And you will receive people by accepting who they are. If you start judging them if you start comparing them and try to find faults in them or deficiencies in them, then they walk away, and they go away. Most people the board game, if you become like this, or if you become like that, then I’m going to like you start bargaining, bargaining is invisible. You bargain, then you’re not accepting who they are. And once you can’t accept who they are, then you can’t receive them into your life. That’s step one.

Step two is to ratify them. Ratification, ratify means that you approve who they are. See everybody walking around seeking approval. So you find something in them and approve it. And you’ll find the lowest denominator in them and approve it. Hey, I did this way. What do you think? Wonderful, you did it. Great. So you approve, and they’re seeking approval, or you do that, and you do that, keep on doing that as many times as you meet them. And then eventually, you have now raised their self-esteem. And this actually leads to our third part, which is to reward people as they come into your life. In the third one of this equation, by reward, I mean appreciation. So when you appreciate someone you are raising their value, you are also raising your value when you appreciate others, but you’re raising their value, once you raise the value, that means you’re saying that you they are valuable to you. So when you raise somebody’s value, you say that you know, in the subliminal message, there is that they’re valuable to you. So you keep on appreciating people. And there was a podcast episode I did specifically talking about how to appreciate people, you know, simple things like, Thank you, I like what you did. This is so nice of you to hear this, so kind of you all these words, in a moment, at that moment, that may not make sense. But over a long period of time, when done over a long period of time. They do make sense they do add up. And the cumulative effect of those words is profound.

So these two are three things that you have to do, as people come in, and you want to retain them, you want to keep them. Do people leave you? Yes, they do. And it’s very hard, very difficult to keep people. Some people may not see your kindness, they may not see the point from where you come from, and they don’t see the love and care that you have in your heart for them. It’s but your job is just not to love people, but you need to also make sure they understand your love. And you take a significant amount of that responsibility on yourself. And the only way to really make them see who you are is to make them feel who they want to be. And that’s the point here. So try these three, and see how this plays out in your life.

It’s never too late to do this specifically to you, John, never too late to do this. And again, if you are listening to this as a podcast, then yeah, you know, never too late doesn’t matter who you are, where you are. As long as you understand the principle as long as you believe in this principle, then why not do this? Again this principle by the way is not mine. This Hall received ratify reward. This has been said by many other people ahead of me. In fact, one of the early people who might want to credit this is Les Giblin and I talked about Les Giblin and his book, how to have confidence and power in dealing with people specifically talks about this. So the minute I got this question from John, my mind immediately went back to Les Giblin saying, yeah, how beautifully Les articulates this.

So I hope I answered the question. I hope this is helpful. If it is, do me a favor, and share it with a friend or a family member who you think will benefit from this. If you’re watching this on YouTube, please drop me a comment, please like and subscribe to the channel. That way I can reach more. If you have a question for me, by all means, please text me at 888-818-0404 I read every text message that comes in and I respond to all the text messages so 888-818-0404 That’s all for now. Have a wonderful day and I will talk to you soon. Bye now.