Teach These Life Skills To Your Children

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back to Success with Srini. Today on the podcast, I am taking a question. And that is, what should we teach our children as parents? What should we teach our children? Now this question has come up numerous times in my seminars and workshops, also on radio shows. In fact, about four weeks ago, I released a small little video snippet on my YouTube channel, specifically me addressing this question at a live event. And in that snippet, my talk about me quote, Dr. Isidor, Isaac Robbie, a nuclear physicist, and Nobel Prize winner. And when he was asked, you know, what is the secret to his success? He said The secret to success is his mother’s upbringing. And he says, my mother, though uneducated, always asked us to ask a question in class. So she would drop the kids in school and drop them at school at the time of dropping, she would tell them their job in class today in school, is to raise their hand and ask a good question. And at the end of the day, when she used to pick them up, she would ask them, Did you ask a good question.

And I say this because I heard this very late in my life. And by the time my children were already growing up, I tried doing this with my children, too. So and I talk about that in this video, if you are a subscriber to my YouTube channel, or you can go to YouTube and search for success with Srini. It’s the same name as this podcast. And you should be able to find this video, which is a featured video there. So now that being said, let’s jump into some other aspects of raising children and some other things that we need to focus on. Obviously, the first and foremost is we need to teach our children how to ask good questions. In fact, great questions, now you keep on forcing them to ask good questions, then eventually, they’ll ask good questions, because the brain goes there. And you do that very early in life before they are seven or nine years old. The second skill I would focus on is the ability to solve problems. And why because life is full of challenges. And if they are taught how to find solutions to problems, then life will become less intimidating. And some of the common challenges can be addressed very early on so that a cube as they grow up. So the ability to solve problems.

Now, as a parent, I would also focus on helping them find a passion very early in life. Parents do that sometimes they teach their children to play piano, or dance or music, they do these things. But then there are so many things that so many different ways, passions, and the children need to be told how to discover the passion, not a bunch of training and a bunch of classes. Usually, when you start putting them in multiple classes, then there is a lot more expense going as a result of that much bigger expense that’s happening because of that, which is they’re going to end up spreading the resources thin. And then obviously, once you focus, everything that you add to their daily activity, will make them kind of compromise on other activities. So it’s hard to find that balance. But the key is to help them find a passion by teaching them how to find a passion. It’s a hard one. There are multiple passions, by the time you are 16, 18, or 20, you should be able to have two or three passions that you have identified yourself with, within which one is a dominant passion. I said that that’s how I grew up because one of my dominant passions was identified very early as a kid. And I wanted to be that. So life was easier. In fact, even though I really couldn’t accomplish much with that passion in life, professionally or whatever, but then that passion is within me stays with me. And it does come in handy at times. So helps.

Now, secondly, children need to be taught how to become independent, the school system should do that. And most of the school systems, whatever system educational system they are in, already probably have this in place. But independence is something that has been nurtured very early so that other forms of growth happen and other forms may happen. But then when kids don’t have independence, then everything is constrained. So in order for everything else to really stand out, independence is something that needs to be taught. Now, I would also extend now that I said independence, I would extend a little bit more and say that kids need to be taught how to become content. When specifically when they’re alone. You teach them loneliness. Also, most kids don’t these days. And there is some kind of a dependency, either with games or TV or smart devices, whatever they something that they need to have with them. But then teaching them to stay content, when they’re alone, is a very difficult thing. I think, parents tell me what they’re going through and I also go through it at some level as a parent, then there are a couple of more things I would do. And that is, I would teach them compassion. Most of the kids are growing up now becoming lonely, but angry. And some other emotions, actually, those emotions come out. So how do you control your anger, if you’re in public, and, the only way to overcome that is is to learn how to be compassionate. So the different programs and again, I highly encourage you to do some research on your own side. And this podcast, I can’t go into every specific detail here. But then my request to you is that you go do your research, and find ways and methods on how to teach all of it, all of it, not just compassion, all of it.

Now, one last thing, before we wrap this up, I would also teach how to deal with change. Something that as an adult, we are as adults, we are, we are going through we are something that was not taught at least not told to me as a kid, my parents never raised me, asking me to deal with change, I was raised, that if you get a job, you go study, get a job, your life is going to be amazing. And that is so far away from the truth, that statement. So I would teach the children that change is inevitable change is happening in that no matter how well they did last time around next time around, it’s going to even touch them more. So I’m going to put them through a change management class. I don’t think they have four children, maybe they do I don’t know. But then constantly in the talk in my interactions. And in every moment that I have with them, I make sure that at least I have one point of reference, at least once a day, within which I tell them that, hey, things are going to change. And you need to expect the change and deal with it in your own way as it happens. And that prepares them mentally to deal with that. Okay. So these are some of my thoughts. And again, there could be more, but then this is it.

So hopefully today’s podcast is helpful. Hopefully, you got some ideas. If you did, then please write a review, rate the podcast, and share it with your friends and family. And if you have a question for me, 888-818-0404 is the number to the studio for this podcast, call in, leave me a message or text me on that number. And I promise you I’m going to take your message, the voice drop on your text message is a question and I’m going to answer your question on the podcast. So that’s all for now. You be safe, and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Bye now.

Self Deprecating Beliefs & How To Erase Them

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back to Success with Srini. And today on the podcast, we are talking about some self-destructive beliefs. Now, I say some, because there are many. And it’s impossible to talk about all the beliefs that are self-destructive. If I continue to speak about them and record them, as I’m recording this podcast, it may take me weeks, and even months, I don’t think I’ll cover everything. So some of them have chosen, just a handful of beliefs that are self-destructive. And these are some that all of us can relate to. In fact, we have experienced these in some shape or form.

Now, before I go any further, let me establish a baseline here. And the baseline is this. That the way we think and believe is the way we experience the world around us. So you woke up this morning saying that your life is great, you’re having an incredible time, and you want to make the best use of the day that it has to offer, all good things will happen to you. Now you woke up this morning thinking everything is negative, everything is wrong, everything is incorrect. And this whole thing is going to it’s a mess, guess what you are stepping into a mess. It’s amazing how the world operates. The other day, I was at a concert, and I was talking to an individual there a gentleman, and I said, in general, everything is neutral boulders neutral life is neutral. And in fact, on this podcast, I talked about this multiple times life is neutral life is designed to help your life is conspiring to make you successful. It’s just that we are not happening to life, we come with our negative beliefs and with our negative emotions, and we are forcing ourselves onto something that’s otherwise is neutral. Now, I come in negative and I for something that’s neutral, usually, now I have raised my negativity levels, everything that was neutral otherwise has suddenly turned negative and is along with me. It’s reinforcing my beliefs. I come in positive, and I impose myself on something that’s neutral. Now I’m strengthening the positive.

Now everything is fine making everything positive for me. Hard to explain this. But hopefully, hopefully you’re seeing where I’m going with this. Now let’s talk about some thoughts. Some beliefs that we process all the time. One of the self-destructive beliefs is I will never have the life I wanted to begin with. I wanted a beautiful life. You know, my life is half gone, or three quarters gone. I don’t think I will ever have the life that I ever expected ever wanted. Now, take that scenario for a second if you continue to move forward with that kind of thought. And we don’t know how long of a life we have. At any point in time, we already have lived 50% of our life. So maybe tomorrow is my last day. I don’t know, I don’t know, maybe I’m done with today’s podcast, I don’t know. But you get the idea. We don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. And we already know what happened yesterday. So if this is the moment, this is what we have, and this is how this is what we’re experiencing in this moment. So if I continue to move forward, I’m not going to accomplish anything. And I start believing in that statement. It simply diminishes the quality of my life. I see people trying to raise their quality of life by having a good time, they want to go have coffee, they want to go on a hike, they want to go have a vacation, all that but then it’s not about the material stuff. It’s about what they’re processing in their mind. So when we justify or we have this belief that you know, I’m not going to become a man, I’m not going to get anything from life. That which I expected to begin with. What I’m indirectly saying is I don’t want to put in what it takes. I’m only going to make the effort to get what I want.

So, here is the solution to this problem. You simply say I will have everything that I wanted. So, you replace the beliefs from I will never have the life I want to I will have the life that I want. Just by replacing that word and you keep saying that multiple times. This is what is called an affirmation. This is what is called hypnosis. This is what is called self-belief. This is what is called positive mental expectancy, that’s how this works. Simple. Anything that you say that I will never, I can’t I don’t, you start replacing those words with their opposites. I meet a lot of people in a weight-loss set up a lot of consultations. And one of the beliefs people carry is that I may not lose weight because I go after my mother’s side of the family, or I go after my father’s side of the family, my father is overweight. So I carry the genes. And that’s a belief. In fact, that’s an imprint, an imprint given by the parents, it’s a belief. Nobody knows how that came in. Maybe the parents gave, maybe along the way, this belief got picked up by the brain. But whatever it is, maybe some social reinforcement happened, whatever it is, but now that is, what the brain believes that’s what the subconscious mind is believing.

Now, what do we do? Well, as a child, as a kid, I’m speaking from my perspective, I have a subconscious pool, to be loyal to my parents. That subconscious pool exists in each child. And that’s the beauty of this creation. Every child thinks that their parents, his or her parents, are correct. And they have to be loyal to their parents. But by the time you really grew up to realize that your parents were incorrect, to begin with, and their parenting was nothing but a chance. They did not know it, they did not know how to raise great children, it so happened. And guess what you are put in a situation to raise your children. Today, you don’t have the greatness either. Maybe times are different. But then there is no magic formula. Your children are going to grow up to find the same force in you that you are finding in your parents. As simple as that. The SE works. So there is a push to be loyal to the parents, every kid has it. Now, that is something in hypnosis in consultations, a good therapist would call it out. Hey, what’s the need for you to be loyal to parents towards that specific statement where maybe a father his mother said, Listen, you go after my fat my side of the family, and that’s why you can’t lose weight. That belief has to go away. So you got to realize, that long-standing self-deprecating beliefs have no chance in today’s world. They have to go, you got to free yourself from being loyal to your parent’s sentiments about you. So use one. Stock about a few more that I’m recording, I’m getting text messages on the messenger. So they’re popping up here. So let’s talk about one more such self-deprecating belief. I am not pretty or I’m not handsome. So I will never, ever get a partner, whom I want. This is a belief that has played out numerous times in my office in consultations. Now, here’s how you deal with this step out of the house, go around, go to a party, go to a social gathering where people are and look around, look around and primarily look at people who have their partners with them. You will see a huge contrast. Now, these people are not models. They are not Mr. America or Miss America or any of that. These are common people. Look at your parents. Chances are their common people. Each individual has a unique style. Each individual has a unique thing about them. I talked about this also on the podcast before 32 chromosomes from the mom and 32 chromosomes from the dad. And the combination leads to a billion different permutation combinations plus and then here you are, and here I am. Out of those 32 chromosomes combined 64 chromosomes. So the point is this you have stopped becoming honest about yourself. Because you’re not honest about yourself. That’s why you have this huge, self-deprecating belief that you’re not good enough, whoever you want, you’ll find your partner. As simple as that. There is somebody for you to see the truth, 7 billion people on this earth, you can’t go wrong. Okay? My life is like this. Because that’s just the way it is. I can’t do anything about it. This is what my life is, I can’t do anything about it, I have to suffer.

So I hear that belief. I see people say that multiple times, the answer is this. You have chosen not to deal with it. Maybe you’re waiting for something to happen. Maybe you’re waiting for somebody to come and rescue you. Maybe not. But I’m just making it up. Hopefully, I’ve seen people say that, to me also. Now, people with this kind of belief system that waiting for life to happen. The wake up in the morning thinking that okay, maybe today something will happen. If not, this is my life. And this is how it is supposed to be. And I’m okay with it. That means there is no accountability, that means you’re not self-initiating something. So you’re not taking a stand? Or you’re not initiating yourself into something new. you’re subscribed to? Whatever it is it is. And you’re resigning to that truth. Typically, in a situation like this, you have to focus only on one thing, which is, what is the power? What is about you? That’s so unique, so different, something about you? Is it possible to just take one strength that you have in you, and craft a life around it? A question that, if that’s the starting point, the question you have to ask yourself, and then spend some time identifying that strength, whatever it is, and committing that you want to start building a life around it. Difficult to explain this on a podcast. But hopefully, you get the idea. You don’t take charge then I guarantee you. Tomorrow, you wake up the same way. You don’t take accountability for your actions. You want to wake up the same way tomorrow. You don’t initiate yourself into something new, a new line of thinking, you want to wake up tomorrow the same way. And you start cussing yourself none of these. I listen to this podcast or read these books, you know, I’ve watched all the videos, and nothing good happens to me. It won’t. It’s amazing how life works. It expects that you do something to it before it does something for you.

Okay, speak one more, before I wrap up the podcast here. I’m not smart enough. Hence, I can’t make money. I can’t get a job. All that I’m not smart enough. There’s a smart next question here. And usually, people say this because they’re trying to achieve something in life and they’re not getting there. They see other people getting there. So there is a compare and contrast situation going on subconsciously. So, again, in this situation, I’m not smart enough to listen, if you give enough time to anything. And there is documented proof now that we’ve put 10,000 hours into something, anything, you go to become reasonably good at it. 10,000 hours will give you a diploma, or four years of education amounted to four years of education who gets it you get a degree or diploma as a result of doing it. And then that’s good enough for you to get started $10,000 To start and then a little bit more. Maybe a few more hours beyond that. incrementally over a period of two or three or four years gives you an expert status may not make you a genius but gives you expert status. But you’re not committing to taking the steps to do whatever is necessary to obtain the carrier that you want. See, you know exactly where you stand with your carrier you know where you want to go the gap you know, you understand the hops, you understand what needs to be done? Why are you not doing it? The question you would ask. So it’s not about smartness as much I would any day take hard work over smartness I would any day take discipline or smartness. Everybody is smart to some level everybody has some smartness in them. But all that smartness doesn’t translate into success. What translates into success or what would take that smartness and convert that into success is hard work, discipline, commitment to a cause, and daily, increasingly higher, incremental actions towards the outcome. I would take that any day. I wouldn’t take any smart as I’ve seen people who have had genius in them. People have been gifted with some skills. I’ve seen them sabotage them.

I’m gonna stop here today. Hopefully, today’s podcast is helpful. If it is, do me a favor. By the comment, share it with your friends and family. laid the podcast and then you have a question for me, you know, you can reach me here 888-818-0404 Is the number. And again, this is a coaching podcast. There is no other agenda behind this podcast. I just want to coach you. And enough people reach me reach out to me on my radio show and via emails asking hey, you know which seminar which workshop if I do one you will come to know but then this podcast is my way of just coaching you if you are seeking a change if you’re seeking outcome, so go there throughout all the old destructive beliefs and replace them with some new positive and more realistic beliefs if possible. That’s it. Bye now.

A Few Thoughts on How to Excel in Career

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Tuesday morning to you. I’m getting a bunch of questions coming my way ever since I announced the Career Success webinar. It’s happening tonight. Actually, as I’m recording this, it’s happening tonight, was supposed to have it on the weekend, but then we moved it to today, Tuesday this evening. Okay, so if you haven’t yet registered for this webinar, do me a favor, just email me back, or just text me at 888180404. And I will onboard you, or you can go to the website Srini saripalli.com. At the very top, you can see all the details about the webinar tonight Pacific at 9 pm. So that is depending upon wherever you’re listening to. So this is going to be on April 5, that is today. 2022 at 9 pm Pacific. Hopefully, this fits your timezone wherever you are.

Okay, so here’s what I’m going to do something that I may not be talking about on the webinar, but I’m going to share it with you. Because everybody, whoever is coming to the webinar is talking about how do I change my job? How do I get a promotion? And how do I make more money? These are the three dominant thoughts in people’s minds based on what I’ve heard so far, and the kind of questions that are coming in. So here is what I wanted to share. And I may not be able to share it on the webinar, so I’m sharing it with you. This is also a question, which is, what does it take to go higher on the corporate ladder? Most people shoot for the next step on the corporate ladder, which is okay, nothing wrong with it. But their meter is I’m in this role, I want to go to the next role. And once I’m in that next role for some time, then I go to the next role. So it’s usually a ladder mindset. So get to the first step, second step, the third step, the truth of the matter is, we all run out of time. So there isn’t the next step, this is the step. So the question becomes, is it possible once you kind of subscribe to the idea that from this step, I need to go three steps ahead? Or three steps up? What do I need to do?

So here are some things that you need to start focusing on first and foremost, is that you need to somehow get control of the management skills. It doesn’t matter, you want to take the engineering side, you are an individual contributor, you want to excel, let’s say, I hear that I’m an engineer, why should I need to focus on management? It’s okay to ask the question. But there is something within you that has to manage you, your emotions, and the way you happen to work. And it has nothing to do with managing others. You need to understand finance, even though you’re an engineer. Even though you’re running a home, your homemaker, you still need to understand finance, finance, like understanding, budgeting, understanding class cash flow, reading balance sheets, looking at a profit loss statement, and understanding what’s happening there. That is a requirement you’ve been in the industry for 1015 20 years, regardless of which industry you are in, you got to understand that I would start there. Then comes understanding operations. Operations depend on what operation is to your business or in the line of work that you are in. But operations, basically means that you need to understand how to organize the daily workload that so many different groups, so many different people, all have to interact to produce a daily outcome for the company. And you can’t do that unless you understand how to organize your daily workload. There are multiple projects, and multiple programs, all have to come together on a daily basis before you see a cumulative outcome. So, every time you see a huge project going live, a huge release happens. There are incremental days that contributed to the cumulative outcome, you don’t understand that.

Then comes understanding marketing and sales. marketing sales, we call the front-end functions of any business, you could have been engineering could have been researching, you could be a scientist, but you need to understand or at least get an idea of how these two functions are happening in your business. In every role that you play, you are responsible for delivering value and these two functions usually sell the value. So whatever you do, and whatever they do collectively manage customers and increase sales. So what you do, they take, they convey, they generate sales, so it’s better to understand how they do this. Now, once we get an understanding of finance, operations, marketing, and sales, now comes an understanding of technology, and how to integrate everything with technology, because technology is the truth. And we can’t walk away from it. This is the truth, it’s going to stay, it’s going to grow, it’s going to happen. So why shy away from the truth? That technology is integrating everything. So the quicker we leverage technology, the better we integrate, and the more we could be profitable. Once I do this, I will start understanding the business’s overall business performance. How do I set metrics? Before I set metrics? What analysis can I make on the existing data that I’m getting from the business? I will understand that and then set some metrics.

And then once I set the metrics, now I could create more strategic goals on top of those metrics. So I set standards, and I start collecting data, I start measuring, so once I start measuring, then I make sure that whatever I’m measuring is, Is it meeting the standards or not? If it’s not, then what do I tweak? What do I change? That kind of mindset comes in. So these are some areas that I would like to.

Now let’s take the discussion a little bit lower than this, this is these are the overarching discussions. But then let’s go back a little bit down to the 50,000 views, foot view. But then let me go to a 10,000-foot view and should go down, but this is where soft skills, managerial skills, all that come in. At my personal level, where do I stand in the company, am I communicating? Well, what can I do to enhance my communication? Communication is nothing to do with writing emails, but speaking to people, writing emails, writing reports, or documenting what you are doing. It’s all of that, but it is not all of that. There is more to it communication is, what are you saying? Without saying anything? And what are you saying, which means something, because you could have a different meaning in your mind? And you could be using the right words. But somebody, whoever the listener is, might be listening to it differently. And I have gone on to say this multiple times on this podcast, that people cannot listen to anything that is outside of their understanding. And our job is to make sure that we raise people’s understanding of your children, your kids, they don’t understand when you say things. The reason why we educate we give values and we strengthen beliefs is because eventually at some point, they will understand that’s what we call growing up. enhancing communication, working on it.

Then comes building teams. I’ll focus on finding top talent, I will encourage the existing talent, and I will proactively resolve conflicts. I’ll build more understanding in myself to be respectful to people around me. The whole idea is to keep inspiring the teams. Then comes delegating I see this I consult with companies today, and I see managers doing this incorrectly, they don’t know how to ask. When they ask their ego steps in when they ask, the desperation kicks in when they ask. It seems like they don’t know where they are. So it’s amazing when you use words to convey your feelings. There is an art to asking. And if you master that art, then you can delegate with ease. People will do things without you asking them to do things. And one of the core elements of delegating is trust. You build trust with people, then it’s easy for you to ask for something. But then the trust-building process with others happens only when you build trust with your own self. When you yourself do not have confidence when you yourself do not understand who you are and you don’t know what you stand for. You can’t assess your own value. You can’t formulate value in your own mind your own value. You cannot position your value to others. Then the whole thing is off. The Ask has to be very powerful. The asks should not rattle people Then comes focusing on giving presentations, better presentations, taking ideas, and articulating them. Listen, I’m doing this podcast, I’m not speaking from a teleprompter. I’m just speaking from my mind. And there could be some issues around how I’m articulating my thoughts. English is not my first language, I struggle to speak English by trying, not perfect. But I’m improving. effectively saying, This is a presentation, this podcast episode as I’m recording is a presentation. And I’m so many ideas, so many thoughts, so many things in my mind, all I’m doing is I’m synthesizing all of them. And I’m presenting it as best as I can. But I understand the loopholes in this presentation. I understand my deficiencies. And as I’m speaking, and tomorrow, I will do, I’m going to improve and listen to this podcast. So focus on better communication, okay, then the pursuit is to commit to excellence. Excellence means that there are some things that haven’t remained, I don’t take a job, or a paycheck, or a role, or my boss or my company, anything permanent.

When I was young, I used to, I used to think that’s it. This is it, this is going to be this way. And every time there was a change, I used to get rattled, worried, stressed, I was young. Now, I don’t. So I’m committed to excellence. But I understand the variables, I understand the dependencies, and I need to make sure that I stand out in whatever I’m doing. So I am becoming comfortable with the constant changes that are happening around me. And I understand that the changes are happening, because everything is going to enhance the company, and I just happened to be a variable in the company, and I’m not indispensable, I could be replaced. Now, once that part is done, then come some other elements related to mindset and all. I’m always thinking of taking initiative. I’m always volunteering to services within the group within the department. That’s the kind of mindset. And if there is something that somebody is not taking up, most people are assigned to do things. But sometimes there are things that nobody wants to do. I would like to sign up for those. And then I also want to continue to educate myself on two fronts, one at whatever I’m doing, and one at the company level, whatever company level, things are happening. And the company-level education part goes back to my initial part of this podcast where I started talking about understanding finance, operations, sales, marketing, technology, and overall business performance. What did you get me on at that point?

Now, these are the thoughts in my mind as I’m recording this podcast. And I hope this podcast is helpful. These are some things that I’m done with, I won’t be covering at the webinar. But if you’re coming to the webinar, I highly suggest that you join, you know, just go to my website, Srini saripalli.com, and sign up for the webinar. Let’s say you’re listening to this podcast episode three or five months from now. Or maybe this is the year 2025 You’re listening to this podcast. Even then, if you just text me, at 888-818-0404 or email me Srini at Srini saripalli.com. Then I will send you the recording of the webinar. Okay, that’s all wherever you are, be safe. And I’ll be talking to you tomorrow. And if you are a listener of this podcast, I subscribed listener of this podcast and if you do come to the webinar, then let me know how or what were some of your takeaways from the webinar. Okay, that’s all for now. Take care. Bye now.