The Four-Step Approach to Effective Leadership

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Monday morning to you. The new week, the new start. So today on the podcast, I want to take up a topic that I don’t think I talk about, at least in the last two months. And I did talk about this a long time ago, a while ago, on this podcast, I think that was last year. And then prior to that many times on the radio show, so this is on how you can become an effective leader. So if you are in a situation where you’re leading people, maybe at work, or maybe you have your own business, and people depend their careers depend on you. And your success, as somebody who’s delivering a project or who’s delivering an outcome, depends on their success, how can you lead them effectively, now effective leadership takes time. There is no shortcut to this. Regardless, that could be some science that you are a leader early on in your life. But then as you start maturing, as you start going through, working in different situations, different scenarios, you start to learn, and the talent that you have in you if you are a natural leader gets refined over a period of time. But there are some approaches. And let’s say that you are not a natural leader, let’s say you are put in a situation now to deal with people. What are the things that you need to focus on? What can you count on, there are three or four things specifically for things that will make you an effective leader, or approach leadership in an effective way, I think that’s the right way to say it.

The first and the foremost is your belief in the vision. And when you believe in the vision, that means now indirectly, you are instilling the same belief. So you’re telling the people who are working with you and for you, you’re indirectly asking them to believe in the vision. And in one of the earlier podcasts, I believe it was yesterday, I think, every day I record podcasts now that I completely forget. But that thing yesterday was talking about earning the trust of people around us. So a good vision, a strong vision, your conviction in the vision allows you to earn the trust of your team members. And there is no way to earn the trust of the team members than to show your conviction in the vision.

Now, conviction comes when you have a deep understanding of what’s happening. You have a determination to carry forward, whatever you’re thinking, and you as a leader in your thoughts, interactions, and everything in-between, you stand for that vision. So you and the outcome that you are seeking are together are synonymous, they, whatever you say, whatever you present, whatever you communicate, or whether you’re doing that, in a group set up, or on one setup, or maybe a casual setup with your team members, you are displaying the conviction that the belief you have in the vision starts from there.

And then obviously, when you have that kind of conviction in you, your next job, obviously is to have good team members, you got to build a good team. And a team that supports your vision, a team that understands what needs to be done. I see people making this mistake when then they start hiring people to support their vision, they end up hiring on emotions rather than hiring people on merit. And the merit is again, you define you come up with the criteria on what kind, you know, you establish the post position possibility for people who or whom you’re bringing in the skills, the talent, the experience, what they have done in the past, and how they could do what they have done already in a bigger and a mightier way for you in this setup.

Now, not only once you get people in getting people in is obviously the hardest part and once they’re in the message to them is that merit is rewarded. And every opportunity they get going forward in the setup is based on merit, then comes as a leader, you also need to become a good negotiator. You’re negotiating not only with the team members but then higher-ups.
You’re also negotiating with your peers who are probably dealing with similar situations across the organizations. So negotiation becomes a challenge. And then, obviously, negotiation could be the only thing that separates you from success. could have the best time you could have the best deliverables in place, it could be working towards the outcomes. But then just because you could not negotiate one or two variables, then now you could be putting everybody at risk. External negotiations are very difficult to master. And that’s one of the things that makes you a good leader, an effective leader. The key is this, when you negotiate, make sure that after the negotiation, and during the negotiation, you are not compromising the trust of other people. So you got to negotiate fairly. And as you are negotiating fairly got to also negotiate smartly, so that you are withholding the well-being of your unit.

Now once that is done, the last thing is you also need to become a good delegator. This is a challenge, I see a wherever I consult, I consult with corporations here in Silicon Valley. And I see this problem where somebody got promoted because they’re really good at what they’re doing. But then once they got to that next level, whatever they were good at, is not necessary at that point in time. At that point in time, they have to replace themselves, and they somehow miserably fail in replacing themselves. And they hold on to that position also, in addition to what they are being expected to do in this new position. So how do you assign effectively? How do you understand what your focus area should be now that you have a bigger role to play? So excelling? In the assignment of tasks? I’m not talking about tasks at the project management level, like the line item level, I’m talking about overall at the highest level, how do you become effective in assigning tasks? Tasks could be big projects in your case? How can you become good at that? For you to become good at that, you got to understand and study and build a deep understanding of the strengths of each of your team players and match the tasks to their strengths. constantly analyzing the success capabilities of each of the team members, and then making wise choices when assigning responsibilities. It takes time. But then when you start applying yourself as a leader from this frame, become a good delegator. Become a good negotiator, become a good team builder. And believing in your vision. If you just use these four variables in your frame, you have a mental frame, you’ll sharpen your skills, obviously, your leadership skills. But then you also send a message that you are the most capable person to be in that leadership position or beyond.

Hopefully, today’s podcast episode is helpful. If it isn’t, do me a favor, drop me a comment here, write me a review, rate the podcast, share it with any of your friends and family who you think will benefit from this. And if you have a question for me, the number directly into this podcast is 888-818-0404. Call in leave me a message with your question in your own voice. I’m going to use it as a voice drop and record an upcoming episode, attributing it to you if you want it to be that way. If not, you can text me asked me a question and I’m going to read the question and I’m going to answer I’ll do my best to answer your question. And that way we all grow. That’s all for now. You take care of yourself and I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye now.

How To Gain The Trust Of Others

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Okay, so the first and foremost is that you need to become a good listener. This is something I struggled with all my life. Even today I struggle on the radio. After so many years of doing radio shows, I struggle. People ask questions, I speak over their questions. I don’t listen properly. I rush it into the answer. I want to speak my mind. At seminars, workshops, people are explained that question to me, and halfway I jump to the conclusion. I know the problem in myself. But when you listen to people, you’re doing two things. You’re listening to the thoughts. And you’re listening to their concerns when somebody feels that they have expressed their concern. That means you have earned their trust. If they feel that you are genuinely listening, and predominantly to their outpouring, they develop closeness, in the feel comfortable in your presence. This is a lesson I learned early very early in my life. But then to practice this for so hard. We live in instincts, some of these instincts are so ingrained into our existence, at least to who we are, that sometimes we really don’t keep this lesson in front of our eyes when we’re dealing with people. So I end up talking over people’s questions and their concerns. Hence, I practice this, hence, this is big for me. So hopefully, as you are listening to this, you see the pain in my expression, hopefully, you can hear where I’m coming from. Because I’m in coaching, training therapy situations, I need to be a good listener. If not, I may have the solution. But then I may also have a client who will not be willing to listen to my solutions. And they may reject me happened. And that’s how I know. So it starts with you becoming a good listener, not a good speaker.

Then, when you give positive feedback to people, then they implicitly trust. You see, people give negative feedback. Negative feedback is okay. It depends on the proximity you have with the individual. But most widely, it’s all about giving positive feedback, positive feedback, instill self-esteem when people register self-confidence. And people become action-oriented because you gave them positive feedback. So you’re putting people in action. By the way, any feedback, any conversation, you got to be very clear with your intent. You got to be very sincere when you are telling people things, otherwise, the whole thing is gonna backfire. So you got to have your beliefs in place you need to have your intent in place when you’re giving feedback to people. So positive feedback acts as reinforcement sets people on the path to trusting you.

Then comes your expressions. The honesty in your expressions. So if I’m not honestly expressing myself here, why would you listen to this? What’s the point of you spending 5-10 minutes every day listening to the podcast, no point. You may not favor everything that I’m saying here. You may not like every strategy that I’m sharing here. But just because I’m sincere in expressing what I’m expressing here, you will at least give me a chance. So when you are giving me a chance, it means you are respecting what I’m saying. Not necessarily or agreeing, I don’t expect that you agree with everything I’m saying. Not just because you gave me that space, I need to respect you. In fact, nothing happens if I don’t respect you anyway. So respect is already there. That’s why we’re having this conversation. So honest expression is absolutely necessary for gaining any trust.

Then comes your ability to be genuinely so concerned for somebody’s well-being. In any coaching consultations in any of those setups, sometimes my solutions don’t work. Sometimes the problem is very remote to me, doesn’t fit into my area of work. Can one thing they walk away with, or the client walks away with is that at least Srini showed genuine concern for my well-being that in itself is worth their time. That in itself is worth my earning. Just that feeling that they express, I have earned that and that in itself is happy, I go home happy and sleep well in the night. Then comes and all of that happens, because you are fundamentally kind. If you are angry, you have a temper. You don’t care for others, then this whole thing is off anyway. So living in kindness is important.

By the way, people are kind, but they don’t know how to live in kindness. They become irritated, they become frustrated, and all that. But if you consistently live in kindness, you will consistently win the trust of others. Every act of kindness deserves an act of trust. Because they go hand in hand. Kindness and trust you know where they recite in the heart, the very close to each other. If kindness is not genuine, people will read it negatively. And when they see the distortion, they go away. So be careful, kind and trust, they live together inside the heart. They’re very close neighbors.

And finally, an individual who upholds morals and principles is always trusted. You don’t need to do anything. If you have morals and principles, people will trust you. Period. Of course, just having them doesn’t work you have to display them. The way you display is exactly the way I described all of the above your kindness, your concern, the ability to listen all will demonstrate your morals and principles.

Okay, I want to stop here. And hopefully, today’s podcast episode is helpful. Hopefully, this sets your week on the right trajectory from this point on. If you like the podcast, this podcast, or today’s episode in specific, please write a review. Please write a comment for me. Please rate the podcast share it with your friends and family. You have a question for me. 888-818-0404 is the number direct number into the podcast call me leave me a message or text me. I will take your question. I will record the answer and make it available on the podcast here. That’s all for now. Wherever you are, be safe. Bye now.

Re-Invent Yourself By Raising Your Self-Esteem

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Saturday morning to you on the podcast. Today, I want to focus a little bit on how to raise your self-esteem. This is important because we have been talking about many different concepts in the last, I think last two weeks, 10 days, last 10 days for sure. And makes sense to attach the topic of confidence and self-esteem in bits and pieces, but then a full dedicated podcast episode for self-esteem.

So this in a way is a question also, because this has come up many times in many of the interactions I had on radio, and also in my seminars and workshops. So how do you raise your self-esteem? So the first and foremost thing is, I want you to get a book. Or if you have some time, look back on a podcast I did last year. That should be on the directory here. Talking about a book called psycho cybernetics, I want you to get that book. Because that book by Dr. Maxwell Maltz talks about self-esteem at a level that I have not seen any other book talk about. So that’s the first read. And there are many things he suggests he says that you should always do things that are in line with your self-esteem. So he talks about many things. But then there are some concepts, among the concepts he talks about is how you identify yourself with self-esteem, if you can do that, then you will be the happiest individual as a fulfilled individual. So that’s where I would start.

Let’s talk about self-esteem. In general, why does this happen? See, there are four areas of life have your physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, financial, four or five areas of life. And again, if you go deeper into this, there could be multiple other areas. But then those are the basic areas. Now in any area every time. If you look into area, the reason why somebody feels a lack of self-esteem, or a loss of self-esteem is that one of these areas is where they want to excel, but they’re not able to. For example, physical, let’s say, physical area, you want to go exercise, you knew you were doing exercise, you knew you were working out, and now you’re stopped. And then your physical appearance is when you wake up and you check your weight when you look at yourself in the mirror. It’s not what you truly are, it’s not in line with what your intention is. So you got to make some decisions about going out and working out and losing weight and becoming fat and feeling good and having energy and all that. So likewise, you look into your emotional life or look into your mental life or look into your financial life, there are things that you need to be doing and you are not doing and because of that there, is it an appearance, the way they appear to you are not in line with what you were expecting, hence, there is a drop and you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s not like you don’t you’re avoiding them. It’s just that it’s not happening. So this is where the goals come in. This is where priorities come in, and all that. And we have talked about those multiple times on the podcast here already.

Now, at this point, how do you break out from this? Well, as a part of the rebuilding of your self-esteem is concerned. One of the steps one of the starting step says is to recognize that yes, you have a ladder behind and you have not been given the priority. So that is the starting point. But the next thing is you got to look back into your strengths. What are your strong points? What are things that you have done in the past that really built up the success that you had? And by doing that, you are kind of setting yourself, you’re pacing yourself your mind into the future. By acknowledging your strong points, you are setting those strong points as a way for you to restart this activity if you choose to restart the activity. So that’s the starting point. So past has to be recognized. past success has to be appreciated.

Now, then comes what you love. There is a high possibility, the reason why there is a drop in self-esteem is that things that you’re doing, you’re not loving them anymore. And clearly, if I don’t love doing this podcast, let’s say if I don’t love doing my radio shows or my seminars, what’s going to happen to my performance, it’s going to drop and you start seeing me or women not see me at all. It has in the past. I’ve lost interest in doing this, at least for 2022. I’m committed to running this podcast throughout the year and let we’ll see where this goes. But then the idea of the podcast is to help the listener whoever is listening in hoping that they’re going to use this as a daily motivation or inspiration. Any coaching quick 5-10 minute coaching on it on a daily basis. Hopefully, they’re gonna use it this way. That’s the intent. So if you don’t love what you’re doing, then there is an issue with that got to change the dynamic, you got to look for that which you pay to do something that you love, or you can’t afford to make the change, you got to go back and start loving that which you have. It’s hard but then has to be done that way.

Then comes, what are you proud of? Everything that you’re doing? What is that you take pride in. And we all take pride in something. If you take pride in whatever you’re doing, by default, it should raise your self-esteem.

And then finally, the last thing in this is, if somebody compliments you for what you do, take them, accept them, and use them to even excel more. I’ve seen people showing improper humility when somebody praises them, genuinely, but they just choose not to. And I’ve done that myself too many times. Someone tell me there are some of my close friends and relatives. They told me that Why are you not accepting the compliment happened to me on the radio also. And I said, what happened in this, like, you talk about improper humility, and this is improper humility from your side. And I was like, wow, okay, maybe, maybe the right. teapots to compliments are nutrients for bigger growth. So when you take compliments, you start using them to even create a bigger trajectory for yourself in anything that you’re trying to do, when used the right way. And one of the best ways to accept a compliment is to say thank you, in very simple, thank you, and then go back and process the compliment.

Numerous times have taken testimonials from people sometimes on videos, and I’ve used those videos to recover from the most difficult times of my life. Not to sell or promote myself, but to use them to recover from my own situations. When you see 20 30, 40, 100, 500, over, over 1600 testimonials now, I don’t even have those testimonials anywhere available, because they’re all over the place, but in different hard drives. But then whatever I have on a look at them, you know, why would somebody say this about me in this situation? What is that in their heart? What kind of a connection, internal decision they made internal connection they made. You know, when somebody talks good about you, that means they made a higher connection with their own self, in their mind, in their heart and their soul. When somebody talks don’t talk good about you. That means they also made a heart connection inside their heart and soul. But we catch the positive one, right? Why would they say this? What did you do to them, for them to say this? In fact, even if somebody says negative about you, if you just go deep into, you know, say what is the higher connection they made, that that’s talking something wrong about me or telling me something wrong about me to me, even then you could grow but you have grown differently. But in this context, because we’re talking self-esteem, what is it that as the result of your activities, you doing something to them, something happened to them, they made a higher connection within themselves, that they are now talking to you, and telling you how you have helped them. Take it with absolute grace, I use it as the launchpad to do even bigger things, you grow even bigger, you become even mightier. I don’t think anything creates higher self-esteem than a compliment from somebody else. It’s a very powerful thing.

So these are some things that you can do to increase your self-esteem. And of course, there are many, and we’ll keep talking about this over the next few days. But this gives you an idea. This gives you a frame through which I approach people who reach out to me telling asking me, you know, I feel low, I lack self-confidence. What do I need to do? These are some things I use, even in one on one coaching, even in therapy. These are the things I use. There is no other secret than what I’m sharing here. Or at least in my understanding. That’s all for now. Have a wonderful Saturday, and I will reconvene with you tomorrow, appreciate your listening. Thank you for being a subscriber and appreciate all your questions. They empower me. Bye now.