How To Build A Healthy Mindset

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On the podcast today, I have something that I’m talking from my site today, usually, I’m answering questions or a message or some discussions I have on the radio shows us with some people outside, offline in some social gatherings. But today’s podcast is directly coming from me. And this has to do with some of my observations with success. Now I sell success and my show Success with Srini and this podcast, it kind of gives a wrong impression to people as the listen to the podcast. Podcast is okay, for sure the radio show.

Success is what you define for yourself.

It comes across as if success means that more money, more of something, more positioning, more of role playing, and all that. And I don’t get enough time to clarify myself. And this podcast helps me to clarify my position on success, which is, success is not about just attaining something. You can’t be successful if your goal is to become happy. You’re not successful if your goal is to attain money or position, the society none of those things define success. Success is what you define for yourself. It’s a very singular thing. It’s a subjective thing. It’s totally up to you the way you define it. You could define it with spirituality, you can define it with happiness, joy, fulfillment, money, whatever it is, it is to you. And I have no right to talk about how I measure your success. See, that’s the beauty of success. It’s very singular, it’s very subjective. And it’s very individualistic. That’s the best way to define success.

It’s the mindset that defines success.

Now, there is one thing for sure. Which is needed to create any kind of success. And that is a mindset, apart from many other things, you need skills, you need resources, you need connections, you need many things. But the mindset is important. It’s paramount to have a mindset. And every show, either on radio or on this podcast on my blog. For the last 15, 16 years I’ve been driving. On my website, I’ve been driving. It’s the mindset that defines success. It’s the mastery that define success, whatever you apply yourself to, that define success. And of course, motivation does play a role. So mindset, motivation, mindset, and mastery, those three things are important.

Now let’s talk about mindset. Today on this episode, I want to share a few thoughts. Recently, I was doing a couple of speaking engagements. And also I was running a masterclass on this. And I was talking about the specific thing. How can you build a healthy mindset? What is involved? I want to share three things with you today that I have seen consistently. Recently, just about a week ago, somebody, a listener of my radio show, invited me to come to the city and wanted me to see his business. And I went there. The first thing I wanted to understand from him was his mindset. I started asking questions about his past and about his upbringing, about his transitions to America and all of that stuff. I spent time understanding him. And as I understood him, I understood some of his moves. And I could understand at the end, why he built a business he built and how successful a business he has built.

You got to give voice to your thoughts and your emotions.

Every time I meet an individual, I want to dial in into their mindset. And that’s the biggest message on today’s podcast. To study somebody’s mindset, see where they’re coming from. And if you catch somebody mindset, you can easily replicate their level of success in your life, if not exactly their success. So what does it take to build a healthy mindset? Number one, you got to give voice to your thoughts and your emotions. And I’ve shared numerous techniques on how to do this. One of the techniques I use is I write down what, how my day was at the end of the day. I kind of take it out. I also make a subliminal promise to myself that tomorrow, if I’m blessed with a tomorrow, I’m going to do better. So I bring my thoughts out, I bring my emotions out, and I want to close it out on the same day. So I get the whole day today. And at the end of today, I’m going to close out everything and tomorrow, it’s gonna be a fresh day.

See, philosophically if you look at it, regardless of which belief system you have, which scriptures you follow, and whatever your higher source that you connect to spiritually or religiously. Every night we die. And every day we are born. It’s interesting. Every day we are born. So we sleep, we wake up in the morning, we are healed from yesterday, and we wake up the new day with a new possibility. The sunrise is birth, the sunset is the death. It’s amazing. I’ve read this, I don’t know where but read so many books. And in one of the books, it was described so beautifully. So we die. And we are born so amazing. So why not be born with new set of thoughts, and new set of emotions, which are not encumbered with the previous day’s new possibilities.
See the lessons from the previous day and previous weeks and previous months and previous years. Yes, they are with us. But we are born new the next day. And we can only do that when we resolve what’s happening today. So that we can be new tomorrow. So profound observation, the necessity for a great mindset.

Obey the laws of food.

The second part is food. One of the rules of life is to obey the laws of food. I see people making mistakes, how they eat, what they eat, where they eat, with whom they eat, and why they eat, when their system doesn’t need that food they eat, that has all their emotions, there is always something going on in their mind through food, food is therapy, food is recipe, whatever food is feeling. See, if you eat right, you will feel right. So if you eat healthy, you feel healthy. That’s a big, big contribution food has 90% of our whole existence is food, right? This whole fight is for food. Everything is food. So why not do it the right way. In order for you to have an incredible mindset, a healthy mindset, healthy food is important. That’s the point.

Negative thoughts at a time of weakness is dangerous.

The third element to this is negative thoughts. And I’ve done many podcasts, even at my seminars, they talk about negative thoughts, and how to overcome them. Negative thoughts at a time of weakness is dangerous. Negative thoughts. In other times, it’s okay. But at a time of weakness when something is going wrong with you. And usually many things are going wrong. When somebody is depressed and taken down. And they don’t, they don’t feel like themselves anymore. That means too many things are going wrong in their life. And at that time, that’s the point of weakness. And at that time of weakness, the brain generates these thoughts.

In order to have a healthy mindset. You want to pull yourself out of that state. And there are numerous ways you pull yourself out I talk about hypnosis, and meditation, yoga, different, different ways to approach it, but you need to pull yourself out. Now, we do pull ourselves out out of weakness. We all do, the brain hits multiple points of weakness throughout the day. And multiple points of highness of strength throughout the day. So our job is to identify the points of strength that we hit. And stay there. Try to calibrate there. So it’s not that we cannot sing, all of us can sing. But as we sing, we need to identify the right notes in that song. And we want to stay on those notes. And we do that consistently. We become good at singing. And it comes with practice. It doesn’t happen. For some it does happen. For most it’s practice. And that’s also true with thought manipulation. You need to pull yourself out of that negative thought at a time when you are experiencing weakness. And one of the techniques that I use is a small little affirmation. I talked about this before also in this podcast. For everything that goes wrong in my life.

I say, “so what.” “So what”, just two words. “So what”, try this next time when something is wrong with you and you’re processing some negative thoughts. Pause for a second it’s so what it has gone wrong. So what, it’s amazing. There are other affirmations too. For example, I use something called, everything is small, everything is small. Honestly, nothing is big enough to take you down. Say, in front of you, everything is small, your situations are small, your circumstances are small, everything is small. Even if you say something is big, it’s small. One small little suggestion along the lines of time of weakness and negative thoughts. If you engage yourself doing small things, small conflict, weakness, you need to do small things. It’s given we all need to do small things. But then our job while doing the small things is to look and opportunity to do the big thing. When you do big things or big in other words, important things. Small things, unimportant things, big things, important things. So you move from doing small, unimportant things to big important things. The transition is important, you got to look into everything that we’re doing today, and see where you can make that shift.

By the way, in every small thing that you’re doing today, there is a possibility of a big thing, which is an important thing. So don’t discount that which you are doing today, which is small and unimportant. Because right there, within that there is an opportunity to do something big and important.

In order to have a healthy mindset, you got to affirm to the positive.

And finally, one more thing as I wrap this up, in order to have a healthy mindset, you got to affirm to the positive. You got a fun to the positive. So one way, let’s say I’ll give an example. In I’m not feeling good today, and I’m feeling tired. That thought crosses my mind. I immediately reverse that line in my mind. And I’m feeling good today. Just reverse the statement, whatever statement is going in your mind. This relationship is bad. And this relationship is good. Wow. Right. Just reverse the statement. I wish I had a million dollars. Reverse the statement, I have a million dollars. I wish I had a better job. I have a better job. My manager sucks. My managers break. Reverse every statement that’s crossing your mind. And once you reverse the statement, believing it like a fun to that statement. When you do that, you’ll be nice to yourself. You’ll also be nice to people about whom you’re thinking. Because you’re formed that belief, right? Amazing.

That’s all. That’s all I have on the podcast today. I hope today’s podcast is helpful. If it is, write a review, rate it. Leave me a comment. If you have a question for me, you know the number into this podcast, and also to my office and also to my radio show, which is 888-818-0404. Call me leave me a message. And if you want me to answer your question, as a podcast episode, in a podcast episode using your voice as a voice drop, I’ll do it. And that’s how we grow. That’s all for now. You take care, bye.

How To Overcome Low Self-Confidence

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Today on this podcast episode, I’m sharing a recent conversation I had with a longtime listener of my radio show, and also somebody who attended a seminar I did in 2011, a long time ago. Interesting conversation I had with him and I am kind of giving a gist of the conversation on today’s podcast. So he reached out to me about three weeks ago, telling me about a situation he’s having with his son, who is a teenager. And there are some issues with communication, there are some issues as a family, they are not able to kind of get their message across. And the son is doing good in school. But then overall, the confidence is low. And for the last three, four years, they have been struggling with this about six months ago. They made an attempt to consult with the therapist at school, and then eventually, through the primary care physician, a referral to some other therapists in the insurance network. And somehow, they’re not able to get hold of a good therapist or a therapist, because therapists are not available. And that has kind of lowered the confidence of the entire family. I got on a phone call with him. For about an hour we spoke. And in that one hour, I gave three guidelines.

The first guideline was, how we build confidence, or where does confidence come from. The second one was, things that we do that lower our self confidence. And the third thing was, what do confident people do. And the approach I took on that call was, not only that the kid is suffering. The kid is suffering, because the parents are suffering,. It’s a circular relationship. Parents are struggling. So collectively, as a family, in the social context, together, all of them, their confidence level is low. I also told this individual to listen to today’s podcast, and make sure that he plays this recording to his son.

Compassion.

Let’s get into the three guidelines. See, there are three things. Number one is compassion. Every time you raise your compassion for yourself, you raise your confidence. Every time you raise compassion for people around you, you raise their confidence. Raising compassion involves that you raise your understanding of the problem. So let’s say you feel low, you invest time to understand what’s happening with you. And that is why I have been on this podcast, and also my radio shows talking about self exploration.

Understand.

You raise your confidence by understanding yourself. And as a part of that self exploration process, and there are many ways to self explore yourself. So compassion comes from understanding. Whether you understand yourself, you understand others, in fact, you understand others better if you understand yourself.

Respect.

And then the third part is respect. So you when you combine compassion, understanding and respect, you raise your confidence, you also raise other people’s confidence. So these are the three things I do as a coach and as a therapist is I have compassion. I tried to probe and develop understanding of the people who are trying to reach out to me, and, obviously respect. So with these three things, I instill self confidence in them. You are having issues with your self confidence. So you become compassionate with yourself. You understand yourself and you respect yourself is it’s hard to respect ourselves. You see, it’s hard. So that’s what self confidence is made of. Those are the three things.

Now let’s talk about things that lower self confidence. When you put other people on the pedestal, in a way you are lowering your self confidence. When you put people ahead on the top, you deserve, but you put others on the top, and you kind of paint yourself to the far end of the corner of the room. I did a whole podcast on this long time ago. It’s funny, you know, I do podcast episodes, I come back and redo them in a different way. Okay, so you put people on the top and you put yourself behind, lowers your self confidence. Humility is good but improper humility is bad. It destroys self confidence. Guilt, you carry guilt within you, diminishes your self confidence. You act but you don’t live because of your circumstances because of other people you act. You’re living because somebody else is expecting you to live as per the rules that they have defined. So you don’t feel living, thought this life lowers your self confidence. If you’re constantly finding fault in other people, raising your mindset as using that as a power to raise your mindset, so you’re kind of a cynic. And you’re living in that cynicism, then that lowers your confidence. If you have wrong self talk going, when you’re alone with yourself, you tell things to yourself, that are diminishing your overall existence, in a way. Your mindset, then, that self talk has to go away, diminishes your overall confidence. If you have unrealistic expectations of yourself or others, diminishes your self confidence. There are some external stimulants that you allow to come into your life. Things that you have no control on, but you have allowed them to come into your life diminishes your self confidence. And you are angry and you’ll lead life from an anger frame diminishes your confidence. To these are things that diminish and there are many more things. But these are things that I could kind of think these are things for sure, I discussed on the call.

Confident people believe in their abilities.

Now let’s talk about what do confident people do. The first and the foremost thing is confident people believe in their abilities. You got to start believing in your abilities. Whatever abilities you have, it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to compare this with somebody else and say somebody has better and more than me, in that kind of comparison, that kind of a contrast will destroy you. So you got to believe in what you have.

Confident people solve problems.

And in this context, as a father and a son, as a parent and a child, you got to put that belief in durability. And you do that through proper communication. Confident people solve problems. That is a problem solving mindset they have. And once you have a problem solving mindset, what I’ve seen personally, is people who solve problems or has or haven’t mindset to solve problems or approach to solve problems, they worry less. Because they’re busy solving problems, then comes dealing with fears. You got to face your fears head on and you work towards eliminating those fears.

Confident people also do something else.

Then confident people also do something else, which is they calculate risk and applied themselves to situations appropriately. Not that they don’t take risks, they do take risks, but they understand risk. And the last thing, confident people love and respect themselves. And because they love and respect themselves. A majority of them end up loving and respecting others.

That’s it. This is the gist of the discussion I had with this gentleman. So if you have a situation right now, and you heard this podcast, we are already in about nine minutes into this. And you’re running through a challenge with your child with your kid or somebody or with your own self. I want you to listen to this. And I also want you to make sure that your child also listens to this. Now if you’re approaching a therapist, let’s say then I want you to look at all the different things that I listed here that lowers somebody’s self confidence and kind of explained to the therapist that yeah, you know, I have anger in me or I have guilt in me. I have negative self talk going on or I have unrealistic expectations of myself and others around me. So you start giving these things to the therapist and let them help you now, so you cut down the time with a therapist, and you guide the therapist to guide you back with their assessment of you. So you kind of helping them to help you. So that’s what I want you to do.

Okay, so I would stop here now, this has gone very deep and very long. If you like today’s podcast episode, then do me a favor, write a review, give us a rating, share it with your friends and family. And come back again tomorrow. And we’re going to take this conversation deep. Thank you.

Start A Lifestyle Business

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Welcome, or welcome back to Success with Srini. I have an interesting question that has come in, that I would like to answer on today’s podcast episode. This is from a listener of this podcast and also a longtime listener of my radio show. Srini, I listen to your radio shows and to your podcast. I had a question about business that I would like to start. And I don’t see you talking about business on your podcast, I’m not sure if you can answer this question on your podcast. And the question is, “I’m considering starting a business? And do you have any advice of somebody who hasn’t yet? Started a business late in career about to retire? And what business do you recommend?” First of all, I think there had been some questions on this podcast specific to business I think I’ve answered. And not that I make that as a main thing, at least not on my radio shows, and here, but occasionally I do talk about business and even Success 2022 that’s coming up later next month, is a significant part of that event also talks about business too. And me as an entrepreneur, and in the game. Yeah, business is always on my mind. Specifically, entrepreneurship is always on my mind.

So which business should you start? Well, I’m always a big time advocate of a lifestyle business. There are many ways to make money. And there are all kinds of products, all kinds of markets, all kinds of stuff. And with a reasonably good approach, you could make money anywhere if money making is the goal. But if freedom, lifestyle, and autonomy are the goals, then you need to consider starting a lifestyle business. When I say a lifestyle business, something which doesn’t interfere with what you have got going, you already have a job, you said you’re about to retire, or towards the end part of your career, or at least this career that you have got going. And you have not done a business before, then I suggest you start with the lifestyle business. And given all the technology we have given the Internet, mobile explosion, I mean, all that is going on within the technology space, it’s easy to start something and do something no matter where you are.

So in a lifestyle business, you have no employees, you have no office, you don’t have any physical products. You don’t have any partners, you necessarily don’t have customers also specifically me I don’t have customers, I have clients, I don’t have customers. There is a subtle difference between those two things, clients and customers. I don’t even have a phone number, honestly. I have a phone number where people call, people text. But then it’s not like anybody’s sitting there answering those those calls. We have an office, we have employees in the office. But it’s not like we are attending to the phone around the clock expecting some clients to call so that we can collect money. It’s not like that.

Back in the day, 10 years ago, I talked about lifestyle business on the radio. At the time, I was a stay at home dad literally. Today I’m a stay at home son, I take care of my father, and thanks to my lifestyle business, I’m able to do that. Now, what does it involve? And what kind of business I’m talking about? Well, if you look at the world, the world has problems, and the world is full of people. Now once you put people anywhere, there are problems. So we are people we have problems all of us have problems. Now the beauty of this world is other than the world has people and those people have problems. The world also has solutions. The gap between people who have problems changing solutions is going down by the day. It condensing technology, thanks to information it’s condensing. But then because it’s condensing people are having trouble. There’s so many solutions. You can take any problem and you can approach any problem with all kinds of solutions question becomes is which one will work for that individual who’s having a problem?

I talked about hypnosis when I came in, because it’s a proven way to make changes in people and I could make those changes and I’m good at it or reasonably good at it, whatever we want to say it and that was my message to the market. But you don’t need to be a solutionist yourself. There are enough number of people who have solutions. So if you magically can take people who have problems and connect them to the solution then, even though you are not creating the solution, still you are adding value. That’s exactly what is going on right now. In this economy. There was a research recently done.

I believe this was in the age group of 18 and 25, or something like that are 15 and 20, something like that. A question to all the young students are about to get into college or graduate from college, they were asked, what is that you want to do? Or between Instagram and all the social media sites and Tik Tok, versus you becoming a CEO of a company. Over 90%, and I don’t know the exact number because I’m just saying this from top of mind. And you got to pardon me if I’m miscoding this, but somewhere 95% or so, people, kids responded, children responded, saying that they prefer a social media presence and becoming a social media influencer than become a CEO of a multinational company, or a public limited company, or a public company. Amazing.

Nobody wants to go to a job, nobody wants to do any work. Everybody wants to become influencers. And I saw this trend 15, 16 years ago, not that I encashed on that trend. But I saw this trend, I was very vocal about it across all in all my seminars across all my radio shows. And I’m telling you the same thing. Now, I just did a quick search today, the creator economy, each $20 billion today, as of today. But in 2022, the creative economy, that means people who create content, people who videos, you know, blogs, all that content, podcast, as I’m doing it right now, this economy is going to become $104 billion economy. But much engagement is going on that much work is going on. There is an investment of over $800 million from corporate, like investments that are happening right now from investors into the space. These, you can say angel investor, you can call them institutional investors. But whatever that is that sum is about is more than 800 million into this space. It’s crazy what’s happening in this space.

So I think I answered your question. Maybe not, you tell me. But go start something that has the elements of flexibility, freedom, and lifestyle. Gives you the autonomy that you want to have. You are soul, and soul in it like your soul, your heart, your soul, your mind, and you in it. And you are not answerable to anyone, you create whatever you want to create with your ideas. Now, you want to be the solutionist, go become one. If you know solutions, then go give them to people, you know, people, by default, everybody has a problem going. That’s given, you don’t need to look for people who have problems. Just little bit of search on Facebook on Google will tell you and give you an idea or YouTube give you will give you an idea of where, what kind of problems people are having. People are having problems with their money. People are having problems with their health. People are having problems with the relationships, three categories done dusted. That’s it. So go give them some solutions. And this is where a lot of models come in, sometimes coaching, consulting, affiliate marketing, a lot of models come in dressing in the specific area. But then that’s how you should start thinking and moreover, entrepreneurship is a good thing. It’s amazing thing.

I believe everybody is an entrepreneur in Silicon Valley, I talk to people, they tell me working as an engineer and a software engineer, there’s that they give me all kinds of stuff. But I know they’re hustling. They’re the time that juggling their job, they juggling the house. So the elements of a hustle is already there. They’re not relaxing, nobody’s relaxing. Everybody is in the flow. Everybody’s working towards the outcome. At least in Silicon Valley. But I see. So you’re in the valley. I know you. So why don’t you and when I say know you, I mean, this individual who asked this question. Why not put that hustle in the right direction and make things happen? I hope I answered your question now. So appreciate this. This is wonderful.
I want to come back and do more podcast episodes. specifically focusing on things you could do a little bit more granular on kind of businesses that you could start if you want to start but you know the business. I mean, I coach, I train. I mentor, and I’m in this creative side of the economy myself. I think I feel of course, I don’t have a YouTube presence and Instagram presence and all those things but never felt a need for it. I should go back and do those which I’m planning to do this year anyway, but you get the idea.

Okay, that’s all don’t want to drag this out. Wherever you are, be safe. And I’ll be back here again tomorrow, and we will continue the podcast. Thank you all. Bye now.