Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Hump Day to you. Yesterday on the podcast, I talked about how to read more. And my idea behind yesterday’s podcast was to share some of my experiences, some of the techniques that I use to read more. But towards the end of the podcast, I talked about why to read more kind of deviated from the main point. Today, I want to extend the conversation I want to share with you. Not only it’s important that you read books, but you also have to read people. The number one skill in the world is the art of speaking within which the art of speaking to influence and persuade, that’s the number one skill, you do it, right, you become the head of the country, you could become the head of the world, or dominate the world, literally anything that you want, you could achieve if you know and you learn you, master. And you really dedicate yourself to learning, the art of speaking specifically persuasive speaking, within the art of persuasive speaking, there is this art of reading people. So people respond to you in a certain way, if you can study how they’re responding without saying anything.
They respond to you in gestures, they with the body movements if you study people’s bodies and the body language, then you could really become good at whatever you’re trying to achieve. So it’s as simple as that in my seminars and workshops. I teach an entire session on this, it’s easy to demonstrate how to study the body language, then to kind of speak like this, but I want to quickly run a few by you. So that you can, you can start appreciating it. And you take this beyond this. In other words, you start studying more and doing your own research on this. So the first time, the foremost you got to check when you’re working with people is whether they have their arms crossed. The sitting or standing, specifically sitting with their arms crossed the tuck posture, specifically, what it means is that they’re closed to your ideas and thoughts. So if somebody you are doing a one on one presentation, or one on many presentations, you see some people, their hands are crossed, that means they’re not connected with you, they’re not willing to, for you to present thoughts or your idea, or they don’t receive your idea. So they’re close to your suggestions. If their head is down, you’re presenting and their head is down, they’re looking down. That means they’re trying to hide their emotions. So then they’re hiding their emotion, which means you don’t have the rapport anymore. You haven’t built the trust yet. Maybe they could be shy. And that’s why they’re probably trying to avoid eye contact, they’re not looking directly into you. But then mostly they’re unwilling to share their emotions with you. Okay? Sometimes you’ll find people with their shoulders drooping. What it means is, they might be tired, or they might be bored with what you are primarily bored by what you’re saying. So if you’re listening to this podcast right now and your shoulders are, are drooping, that means you’re bored, you don’t want to listen to this podcast. If they are sitting in a chair, and their head is lifted, and they are looking to the screen. And this is what happens in my seminars, they’re looking into the screen, which means they have the tension, very simple. If they’re looking at you, they’re looking at the board, the whiteboard, whatever the slides that you’re presenting on the screen, that looking the chin is up, that means they’re interested.
Then, let’s talk about some actions. So let’s say somebody reaches out and on the first contact, they give you a very firm handshake. Usually, that implies confidence. And depending upon how they hold the hand, if their palm is a bow your palm, means its dominance. If the palm is below your palm, that means it is surrendered. So the minute thinks to this, but then you get the idea. But mostly, if somebody is giving you a firm handshake, it’s confidence. If somebody gives you what’s called a glove handshake, where they give you the give both their palms and they hold your palm between their palms, right, that’s a glove handshake. Usually, it means they have some political affiliation or they have some politics, or usually, politicians do this where they reach out and hold your hand with both their hands. So you got to read into whatever you want to read into that. But that’s a political handshake, mostly then hands on hips, usually, hands-on-hips mean that people are tired or they’re exhausted, they’re waiting, they’re becoming impatient. Sometimes looking around, you have eye contact with them, but then suddenly, the big the eye contact, they start looking around. That means they’re trying to hide their emotion. And primarily, what it means is they’re not interested anymore. So something you said or something that you did, that completely lost interest. This happens in sales transactions, happens with people who are in sales, in a front-end sales professional, that means that brokers are insurance agents that they know that you know, the prospects know that they’re selling. And they say something and suddenly, the whole transaction goes off, and people get turned off completely, and the prospects completely go cold, they shut the gate, they completely shut themselves down, happens. There is also one other element to this sometimes the way to bring back people mostly into a conversation and keep them in a conversation is by using a technique called mirroring, pacing, and mirroring. So you speak at their level, at their pace, and then you mirror every gesture that they are making. This works very effectively when you are in a one-on-one conversation in front of someone in person. So if you’re talking to somebody in person that you’re trying to influence, then pacing and mirroring help.
Those are some and there is actually there’s more to this. So I highly encourage you at any point in time if you are in any of my seminars, regardless of any of my seminars, and it so happens that you will remember this podcast episode, please ask me to walk through the presentation and I’ll find time to walk through the 75-minute presentation that I have on specifically teaching the body language, the skills of reading the nonverbal messages that people send out, I think that’s the right title. That’s the right title for the podcast, right? The art of learning how to read the nonverbal messages people send out and we send out a lot 70% of all communication is nonverbal. We express our values, our beliefs, our moods, our melodies, our likes, and dislikes without using words. And people read smart people to read. Take this and read yourself, what kind of gestures that you make. In different situations and different circumstances. Your quality of life will improve and you’ll succeed beyond your imagination.
Okay, that’s all for now. We’ll talk more. We’ll continue the podcast more tomorrow. Stay tuned.