Here is the complete transcript of the podcast:
Welcome, or welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Sunday morning to you, as I’m recording this podcast today, you may hear this podcast a little differently. The sound might be different. Because I’m recording this on my iPhone, my usual setup is not working. I record all my podcasts using a Blue Yeti microphone that’s connected to my laptop. And I use a software called Audacity. For some reason, the connectivity is not working today. But this podcast has to be recorded. So I moved on to my iPhone. I’m recording this. Hopefully, this sounds okay.
On the podcast today, I’m answering a question that has come to me several times in the past, but also over this weekend. And this is about dealing with negative people Srini. How do you deal with negative people? And my answer this week as there is no one way you deal with negative people. And there is no one absolute way how you can avoid negative people. Because negative people are everywhere. In other words, negativity is everywhere. And sometimes some of the negative people we have in our lives are there without our choice. And some we have created this choice. So people whom we created can change. But people for whom we were created, and they happen to be negative that we cannot change that. So some relatives, we cannot change, some friendships we can if we choose to. But then the point is, it’s not about changing anyone, it’s about changing ourselves to deal with them. That’s the point.
So usually when I’m dealing with negative people, and I deal a lot, I have a few frames through which I look at them. The first and the foremost frame is I’m very objective with them. So if somebody is making a negative comment on me, or somebody saying something that pulls me down, I love them to do it. Because there is no way I can fight them, there is no way I can win over them. I love them to do it. But the way I process it internally is, I feel sorry for them. Because they don’t know how to live collectively how to live with everybody around. And they don’t know that they’re hurting most of the time they don’t know they’re saying something that is affecting me or others in a bad way. They don’t know this. So I let them do what they are or I let them say what they’re saying. And I just forgive them in my thoughts. And I move on because I need to deal with them tomorrow.
Anyway, some are very objective when I’m dealing with them. And the objective aspect of this is, I know they’re going to say something negative. But they’re not saying that to hurt me. That’s how they are expressing their emotions. And that’s how they’re dealing with their life. So it’s okay, I move on. I also tried to keep my conversations good with negative people. Minimal, very minimal. I don’t get into deep conversations, I don’t get into debates, I don’t try to win over them with my points or with my argument, I don’t. Minimal conversation, get the point across the very light conversation and get out. And because if you get into a deeper conversation with them, that means in a way you’re rewarding their talk. And just a matter of time before they may talk a couple of positive things, but then they slip into a negative discussion very quickly.
As a student of self-improvement, your job is to keep looking at how a conversation is shifting. If it’s shifting towards negativity, you have to excuse yourself. So if you stay longer in the conversation, that means you are avoiding them. So be careful. Sometimes I see people do this, they enthusiastically support a negative conversation, hoping that, you know, it turns to turns into a positive one, but it doesn’t. So be careful how you give attention and to what you give attention to. One other thing I would also do is try not to be alone with them. If there are more people, I probably usually extend the conversation a little bit deeper. I go with them. But then if I’m alone with them, I try to detach as soon as possible. Now, as I’m saying this as I’m expressing all these stinks with you.
At no point in time, have I tried to be a negative influence on them, I’m always positive. So my frame is always positive, I’m supportive, I love them. I wish well for them. But at the same time, I don’t want to be with them for a long amount of time within which they’re pulling me down. Sometimes I also invest time to find out what is the specific reason why they are negative. But then if it takes a long time for me to solve it, or, or triage, but it’s not worth the investment. So I try to be as less engaged with them as possible. As I’m dealing with them.
Hopefully, I’m coming across this one. Sometimes some negativity goes too far. The How far is far that’s up to you to decide. And I can’t say that, but then sometimes it does go very far. Then at that point, at whatever point that is for you, you need to make a call. And you say, I want to save myself, and saving myself is the only option left. Sometimes some relationships should not be maintained, cannot be maintained. And the only thing that comes into your life is negativity because of that relationship. So sometimes you have to eliminate those individuals from your life. That’s your call. And whatever it is, it is what it is for you. This is the fact. The fact is negative people are a fact of life and this is something that we all have to learn to deal with. There are so many strategies. There are so many techniques. But the truth is, the more you spend time with them, the more chances that you need to learn how to keep yourself positive. So some good does come out of it. That means you strengthen yourself. But then there’s also a possibility that no matter how hard you try to stay positive, you may become negative. Be careful.
That’s all for now. You enjoy your Sunday. I’ll talk to you tomorrow hopefully with the fixed microphone setup, hopefully. Thank you. Bye now.