Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
How to stop the negative behavior before it stops us. That is today’s podcast discussion. Happy Saturday morning to you. Last week, I was speaking at the real estate roundtable. And during one of the breaks, one of the attendees caught me in the hallway and said, Srini, my family, my friends tell me that I’m negative. I know I’m positive. But why do they say that I’m negative? And I heard you talk about hypnosis as a solution to solving negative behaviors. What should I do? And my answer was something along these lines. In fact, I went back into the room later that evening, and in my second presentation, I talked about this.
You see our behaviors, what our behaviors are, most of the time our behavior is invisible, or habits are invisible or behavior is invisible. If we can see somehow ourselves from the font, we would find an equal amount of force in us that we find others. It is beauty, this creation, this mankind this nature, is, is such that it made us invisible to ourselves. So there has to be a tremendous amount of self-exploration, self-reflection before we can find who we are before we can see who we are. Of course, hypnosis and many other tools are there. They are all available if somebody wants to consider them as a way of life and take them in. Yes, and the audit process, there are many. But cautiously what can be done? Well, here are some things that you can do today, this is the exact thing that I shared with this individual in the hallway, the first and foremost thing is that you got to claim your inner power. And you have to tell yourself that you have to stop it. So every time action has gone incorrect, something that went wrong, you need to find that act in the middle and say I’m sorry, you say something incorrectly to somebody, you stop yourself. You say I’m sorry. I give you an example. Right before the real estate roundtable, I was getting ready for it. I was in the middle of it on Friday. So last weekend was the real estate roundtable. But this was the Friday I got a call from the doctor’s assistant for my dad for my father. And I was in a hurry. And I did not respond to her the right way. I did not respond to her the right way. And the scheduled consultation is for Monday.
So I was busy through the weekend. And Sunday was a down day. Phil said the roundtable was on Saturday, Sunday was around down day. And I went back the Monday the first thing I did on Monday took my dad to the doctor. And once everything was done once all the checklists were done, I was flipping out. And I went to the front desk and I said is Kim available? In fact, the lady who helped me to check-in, or the same lady, her name was Kim and me. And I was asking her name while I was leaving the place. And I told her I said listen, Kim, you called me on Friday, I was distracted. And I was not answering you even though you were diligent. They’re very nice to me. I was very distracted. Too many things going on. I somehow valued myself. above you. You are calling me for my dad. And I’m sorry for my behavior. I shouldn’t have done it. It’s against my character. I shouldn’t have done this way. I’m sorry for this. I said that. And my doctor, my father’s doctor was right behind the counter listening to this. And she said, Oh, that’s so nice of you. You don’t need to say that. I said I’m sorry. No, no, no. I know how hard you work here. And if at any point in time, even if you call me in the middle of the night, I need to be aware that you are calling and who you are and what you do and how much you work hard here and your contribution is way beyond than what you’re paid for. And whatever you do, so I kind of conveyed that in those words. So I need to be aware that I need to be respectful. I need to be humble, and I was not and I do need to somehow be answerable to myself. So even though I’m saying sorry to you, that doesn’t mean You’re gracious, you may not accept that. But then I’m answerable to myself, I knew I was wrong. And thank you for giving me an opportunity to express myself. And that’s all I said, I walked out, catch the action in the middle, catch the action as it’s happening. That’s how you claim the power.
One other thing I would do is, I would take a paper sit down, and write, if there is one thing I can stop about myself, what is it? There’s one thing I can stop about myself, what is it? And there are many things we can stop within ourselves. But we choose not to. And these things, eventually become our character. I’ll tell you one thing that I would like to stop, I would like to stop thinking, while I’m listening to somebody. As I’m listening to people, for example, people call me on my radio shows, they asked me questions, I’m in a hurry. Because I’m in a time situation, I’m a time block. The very limited time I have I need to push myself, I have so many other things to do on my show. So I want to close it out as soon as possible. Someone calling in that expressing themselves, I sometimes talk over them. I shouldn’t be, but I do. And that behavior has. Initially, it was like that about 1012 years ago, then I started to feel that when people come in into consultations to talk to me, I talk over them. That is something I was told. And when somebody told me this, that’s when I became aware. And I started to monitor myself. When I’m listening, my mind starts racing. When my mind starts racing, my actions have to come into play. So every time the mind gets activated, it has to act. A racing mind wants to intensify the action. So if your mind races incorrectly, then the action itself becomes much more negative, or could become very violent, or could become uncontrollable. So when actions become uncontrollable, then the effects the results of those actions could be negative. So every time the mind races, every time you feel that you need to do something, you need to say something you need to get on and stop. Step back. Breathe. And think allows you to refocus. When you refocus.
Now, you’re taking a stance, which is positive, because now you’re in control. Something I would like to change. I worked on this for many, many years. There are also certain people, certain situations, certain circumstances, that could trigger negative behavior in you some sorts of situations where you don’t want to be maybe some people interact you from expressing yourself, or from saying something. Some time ago, I talked about conversation, conversational narcissists, they’re everywhere. They want to hijack a conversation, they want to highlight themselves, they want to override your thoughts. But your job is to have an honest look within yourself. And say, if I participate in this, then I’m going to become annoying to others and to myself. So I don’t want to be in situations where I can become annoying.
There are many different ways you can put some monitors on you, of course, you have to monitor yourself. But it’s always nice to have your spouse your partner your friend to monitor you in social situations. Sometimes when I’m with my friends or with my colleagues or for example, let’s say this presentation, every time I speak from the stage I come down and say did I say that right? Did you can connect it and make the point. And if I did not, then I have people who are monitoring will tell me even on my radio shows, I when I do my shows I have Several people listening to my show my admins, my, my mentors, my children, you know, everybody listens to the show, everybody has a different input. But every input matters. Every time there is an engagement going on, like some conversation going on, at any point in time you feel that you said something that is not being taken right? Or you misunderstood something, and maybe your spouse to say something. But what you heard is a little different in your mind, and you’re not sure, but somehow you had to respond to it. I stopped by a pause, I say, Listen, let me understand this. Is this what you said? And then I say, I’m sorry, I’m interrupting you. Please, can you explain what you just said? This does two things.
One, it helps me to understand what they’re saying. But also shows that not bracing to conclusions, or I’m not rushing. And then there’s also an element of humility in this, it’s important that you convey a sense of humility in every conversation you’re having. In fact, I did multiple podcasts on conversations. If you go back to January of this year, February of this year, on this podcast directory, you will see multiple different podcast episodes specifically talking about how our words create the success that we desire and deserve. See, when it comes down to behaviors, it’s up to you to avoid them. Your job is not to cause difficulties or disgrace people who want to spend time with you. I see people doing that all the time. And people are wanting and willing to talk to you and want to spend time with your Why do you want to turn them off with your negative behavior? Doesn’t make any sense. Try these things. What I just said. I’m not saying these are the absolute best ways to deal with it. But these are some ideas, some thoughts, but do your research on this. But I can tell you one thing for sure. No matter how good we become, there is something about us that’s negative. There’s something about us that’s negative. So a lifelong pursuit is to keep identifying the negatives. When I said negatives, I mean behaviors and keep on eliminating them as much as possible. Now when they enter us, they don’t tell us but when they will leave. We know they left us.
Okay, that’s all for this podcast. I’m sorry for if I go any further from this point, then I think it’s going to become very heavy. So enjoy your Saturday and we will talk tomorrow. Thank you. Bye
now.