Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
On the podcast today, I’m sharing a very fundamental principle of success, which was told to me many, many years ago, I wish I would have known this the minute I was born, which I did not obviously, but along the way, and I started to understand the world. And I started discovering people, I started exploring myself. And during the time I found this insight, this insight is going to change your game, regardless of whatever game you’re playing. And this has to do with how to get whatever you want. Anything that you set your mind to, you can get. And we’re not talking about the law of attraction, the law of attraction plays its own role. It has a time and space for a different day, we’ll discuss that. But there is fundamentally something today that you can do. And you can get whatever you want. And dispensable was, was a hard-learned principle. But today, I use this principle in a principled way. And I’ll tell you how I do this. So if you ever wanted something, and you worked very, very hard for it, you really poured your heart blood, sweat, and tears, and it’s not happening for you. It’s not happening, you tried everything, every strategy, every technique, every concept idea, you took all kinds of help, but still, it’s not happening, then there’s something that you’re not doing, which is you should give that away that which you are seeking. Whatever that is that you want, you first should give it away. Now, this principle, philosophically, is a very, very powerful principle.
Say, let’s say you want love, but you have been getting a lot of rejection. You want people to love you, or people around you, to appreciate you and acknowledge you. The first thing you have to do is to love them, acknowledge them, and give them whatever they want, if you want something in return, now, why should you give something? And what’s the guarantee that you’ll get back something in return? Well, it turns out that reciprocity is one of the core innate traits of humans. We want to reciprocate the gifts we receive, we reciprocate the love we receive, we reciprocate the invitations, we receive it just an innate thing with us, humans. This fundamental thing has been exploited in marketing and sales, diplomacy, politics, everywhere, relationships everywhere, and this has been exploited. And now social psychologists have a lot of research on this. And now this is documented proof. It’s now with this new understanding of how this works with this Information Age internet playing its role and social media playing its role, this technique is being used and used and used and everybody knows this. And if you do not know what this says, what the power of reciprocity is, and how this works, then I think you really need to catch up, honestly, you need to catch up.
Now, in sales and marketing, we already know the use of reciprocity. And this has been done by the first book that I ever read that really talked about this principle was the book by Robert Cialdini, Dr. Robert Cialdini, wrote the book Influence The Psychology of Persuasion, he gave multiple examples, of the Law of Reciprocity playing out, for example, the lexicon, the Krishna consciousness, people used to show up on the airports and used to give flowers to people and in exchange, they would end up people who would end up giving money because they don’t have a flower to give them back. And the glue that organization using this technique, and he talks about, you know, getting dollars in mail, or stamps in the mail, for that matter stamps, you might have received name labels or address labels in mail. And in exchange, they want you to pay some money and you keep on getting these Address Labels, eventually, you’ll end up giving something under them. And this will not only be in sales and marketing everywhere, wherever so you randomly give a gift to people. That is a possibility that you will some of them will refund give back gifts to you. I tried this for a long time. I used to give away books on my radio shows in my seminars, and workshops. Not that I was expecting anything a bit dumb, but just that my way of really getting into the houses of people. I would randomly buy books, read books, and then I give books away to people and when I give the books away to them.
My goal is every time they look at anybody, you know, you get a book from me and you have the book in your house. Usually, you will never really trash the book away or give it away, you know, because the book is it has an element of knowledge, and wisdom to it. And this is not my book, I bought this book from outside, but then you will keep you will retain the book. And every time you read the book or your eyes Hall on the book, you feel okay. Srini gave this book to me. That was my only goal was to just get that mind space in your brain. That’s it. That’s it that one moment you say, oh, Srini give that book to me. I never had it actually, I only had maybe one or two incidents where somebody at my seminar walked up to me, and gifted me a book, or two times it has happened to me. But I know that whoever has received a book from me or something from me, they have somewhere within that art, I got this, I have to give something back. Now if that has not happened, that means have not done the job, right? So I should be sending more doing more like books and all that. I’ll tell you one amazing thing of reciprocity that plays out with this podcast, which is people listen to the podcast every day like some people do.
Not everyone, eventually there comes a point. They say oh, I want to go meet Srini happen. numerous emails have gotten through, I want to meet you, whoever you are, I want to meet you. Some people who I do not know never met I got a message the other day from Singapore, saying Sydney, I look forward to meeting you one day because I listen to you all the time. So there is they just want to feel that way. It’s not that need that or they need that. But somehow that is the thing. And there’s also one more element of reciprocity, which is the listen to it. So many times happened with a few that like, I want to talk to you can I pay you? And I’m like, now you don’t need to just ask me a question. I’ll just respond back to you now, I want to talk to you, you know, can I pay you tomorrow they want to pay. So even though this is not that way, this podcast is not there is no way on this podcast, I say hey, go schedule a consultation, talk to me none. Certainly, I don’t have time for that. But now to a point where I don’t even see the value in it. I think if podcasts like this one way, getting questions from you, and communicating back to you is probably the best use of your time and my time you get the result. And this is the intent, that’s the core intent. So coming back to the point you’ve got to give before you expect to receive and when you do that, you literally can explode your success back in the day in sales, specifically in sales, that is a technique this technique has been used where give once and receive receive receive, right, you want revenues in business, you give once to give something away for free, and you keep on receiving, receive, receive. And then in the current times, as technology has evolved, understanding has evolved.
And now the way people buy has evolved. Back in the day, people would be scared, to give their email addresses away to someone. And today people are literally, you know, doing everything online. Literally. It’s just funny how, and in a good way.
It’s interesting how we have all evolved. And now with this newfound incredible technology and awareness. Now it’s all about giving and receiving, give, give, give and receive. And when you do give, give, give and receive that one received you get is going to makeup, it’s exponential. So back in the day, it was just given once and receive, receives, receives. And now it just gives give, receive only once but that one thing that you receive is going to make up for years and years and years of you know profits. It’s amazing. This principle is used now extensively in sales. But let’s talk about philosophically where this applies or practically where this applies in real life. Let’s talk about that. In my personal life. You see when you express kindness when you help people like you show kindness you show you give you provide help. That is genuinely appreciated. There is just how we humans are. And I’ve seen this also being done the wrong way. Let me talk about that. See, when you do something for someone with an expectation. You’re doing something with an expectation. Then the chances are maybe your expectations will be met. Who knows they may be better than what if they’re not met. You’re an expert expectation. You’re doing something for someone and that expectation is not met. Then you will feel the resentment rejection some anger, frustration, I see that happen, happening with many people that I interact with, you know, doing something, they’re not getting a response, that not getting the acknowledgment that not getting something in return, they get angry, they get frustrated. Now, you do the same thing. But you do not expect anything in return.
Now, anything beyond that point is a bonus. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake, or whatever that is. Right. So the question is, what’s the difference between somebody who is doing something, expecting something from people, and somebody doing something? without expecting anything from people? What’s the difference? Well, turns out that there’s only one thing that you need that is called empathy. I talked about this just a few days ago, when you are working people, and I’ve said this here multiple times, which is, you know, your success, whatever field you’re in, right now, whatever profession you’re in, your success is always with through and for people. That’s all there is, you can’t do this single-handedly singularly. If you think that your self made, you’re made by yourself alone. Now, so many people have contributed towards your success. You haven’t gotten here, just by your own virtues, of course, you know, their hard work that’s given, but then a lot of people have put in a lot of stuff that you did not have into you, for you to become whoever you are today. That’s the truth. Given that it’s true, there has to be an element of empathy. So you do something for someone, something for someone for free, and you have an expectation that they will do something back for you, then they do not, then you now have the pain. But you do something for someone without expecting, and they do something for you and reckon at their, on their own timeline with their own intent, then it’s a bonus, you say, when you are in need of something, and you go and help someone, that is kindness, you are in need. But if you are nice to someone at the time you are going and helping someone which means it is seen as kindness. They do not know they think you’re helping them but you know deep within you that you need something within and you need that precision you need that act you need, you know, some completeness to some of your feelings. So you exhibit kindness. But when they need something, and you don’t have time, you don’t have you’re busy or doing whatever, but they need something, then you step in, but you take some time out and do it for them. That is that is help. You’re helping somebody in need. You don’t need to do it, but you’re doing it because you have recognized that the other person has a need for it, and you’re helping. But when you go out and help, and because you will need to do it. If they really don’t, then that’s also good. But that is seen as kindness. I want to create, I want to illustrate these nuances to you so that you can see, you know, where your mind is when you are engaging in these acts. Regardless, a long time ago, I heard this somebody say I think I read it somewhere. I don’t know who said this. I knew but I forgot. You know, when you do not have to give in your heart, then you have the worst kind of heart trouble. People have heart troubles. But the kind of trouble that you do not want to have is a lack of giving in your heart. That’s the worst kind of horrible to have. So here’s the message. Just give whatever you are expecting. But don’t expect it if you get it great. If we don’t get keep on giving to a point where they are now compelled to give something back. And when they do give, then it’s going to be so big that it’s going to completely undo all your years and months or decades of waiting. Not that you’re doing for that. But that’s the bonus.
Okay, I’ll stop here. Hopefully, this is helpful. Hopefully, this gives a perspective to you. If it is, let me know. And before you know it, I’ll be here with you as early as tomorrow. Keep listening.