Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Thursday morning to you. Today on the podcast, we are talking about pain, and how to deal with pain. When I say pain, I mean emotional and mental pain, something that has been on my mind for a long time I was looking for a window, I was looking for some space, because every day I come here, I take up some questions from you, which is very important to me, your question is important to me. And your questions are also in my inbox which is messages, and text messages, I need to catch up with all of that. But I was not finding a proper window, I think today’s the day. And maybe it’s going to take a couple of days to really get this out of me from within me. But lately, in the last few months, I have been part of many discussions, you know, friends, family, and all that. And this discussion of pain has been a part of many conversations.
So I thought I should spend some time on the podcast today. So if I have to give a question to my thought, if I have to make up a question, here is how I would phrase the question I’m suffering a lot of pain, When will I get rid of this pain? What can I do to get rid of this pain without going into any specifics? You have a life which means you have an activity that means you have existence, it means you are coexisting with someone, we are coexisting with someone it means that you have emotions, you have feelings, you have feelings, it means you have thoughts in your mind that can go from one to the other thought at any point in time you go, you can go forward in time, you can go backward in time, oftentimes when you go backward, it means you already are feeling things that already happened to in the past, and you exist there.
That means you’re living the pain that you experienced in the past. So many discussions that have been a part of I’m telling you, it’s crazy. So what pain does do to us emotional and mental pain, emotional pain, and what can we do to overcome this? That’s how I would phrase the question. Okay. When pain enters the system, that means some expectations were not met, somebody stepped on your soul, or something that you were expecting or something that you thought you had control over, did not happen. And you are now accommodating others whom you love and care for. But whatever you’re accommodating, they themselves are not stepping up and causing more disturbance for you. We can define it in any which way. And all those definitions hold true. There is truth to them. So here’s what happens. I’m going to go into the formula and I’m going to go into the psychology behind this. Usually, pain means three things. Sustained pain, makes you incoherent. Pain removes clarity and makes you unclear.
That’s the first damage. I’m not saying that’s one of the damages. I’m not saying that that is anything in order. But that’s one of the damages. Three things it does. That is one that will make you incoherent and makes you unclear about what’s happening. And when that happens, and it happens for a long amount of time, there is a high possibility that you will become intolerant, intolerant to things happening around you intolerant to other people’s emotions, and you start to feel as if you are losing control. That leads to the third one which is it will make you inept. That means you’re not suitable to deal with your circumstances anymore. That’s what inept means.
So you become incoherent, intolerant, and inept. As that’s happening, this continues for a long time. You start to dull of self-doubt. Maybe I don’t have it in me. Maybe I can’t do this anymore. Maybe this is not right. And you start losing trust in yourself. That continues for some time. The next thing that happens, is sabotage. See, in one area, you experience self-doubt because there is pain You slowly now transfer that to other areas of life. And you start messing up things that are happening to you. You start seeing everything with a haze with a filter. And that is where sabotage happens. So self doubt.
Now, slowly, taking over other areas of life. This continues for a long time, you’re feeling incoherent, you’re intolerant, you’re inept. Now you have self-doubt you have self-sabotage, and eventually, you surrender. That’s it, you’re surrender. It’s what happens. It breaks you. It breaks you. That’s what they do in prisons. That’s what they do with criminals. They will torture you emotionally, and mentally if I don’t know all that. I’ve seen this. Things happen because I’m born to a policeman. And I’ve seen how prisons operate, they will break you till you surrender. Life does the same thing to you, you have a lot of money, a lot of fame, you have a lot of names, you have a lot of lot. But then you feel isolated. You feel you are not in touch with the truth. You don’t have happiness, you don’t have joy. You break. That is why people who have it all are not happy. And people who do not have it all, obviously are not happy. And they look up to these people and say, Oh, they have everything that I want, how come they are unhappy? No, no, no, the rules of life apply to everything, everyone. Rich people are unhappy, and poor people are happy. And everything in between is also true. This is what we call suffering.
Collectively, all this is called suffering, you got to break the cycle, and you got to come out of it. You see, when people go through some pain, they’re looking for a cure. Why? Because they’re experiencing the thing they think in their mind that pain is harmful. See, somebody has gone through a lot of emotional pain. And let’s say they somehow came out of it. You agree that they are strong. I want you to look into your own life, when was the last time you came out of a painful situation emotionally painful situation, you stayed there for a long time you felt you went through all this the entire cycle of self-sabotage self-doubt, all that you came out of it. What happened? You became stronger.
So there is obviously a desire to cure the pain because you logically you’re thinking that pain is harming me, and I need a cure for this. And this is where people run to therapists and, and all kinds of medication, all that stuff, which I’m not disqualifying at all, I think all that has a place. And that should be approached that way I get it. Because I play that role myself. If I’m in pain I look for and go to experts. And when people are in pain, they do reach out to me. So I respect and understand that. But we are having a philosophical discussion on pain. And I don’t want to go into the deep specifics. And this is not about that. So as we go into this, there is one thing that I want to leave you with and this is going to shift your understanding of going through a situation right now. The pain we go for a cure because we think it’s harmful to us. But I want you to shift your frame and your understanding a bit and I want you to look at it. That pain is teaching a lesson.
Pain is here because I want I did not learn that lesson before. And it’s teaching me a lesson let me learn that lesson. Let me get to it. Let me understand this. And pain eventually leaves. When it is done teaching us a lesson. It will stay there and make us suffer as long as we deny them Listen, I want to leave that notion. I want to leave the clause of the podcast today with that notion. And I want you to understand that some experts, some psychologists, and some great philosophers have said this, you know, pain is mandatory. Suffering is optional. Yes, there is truth to it. The sooner you understand, the sooner you make an effort to learn that lesson that pain is trying to teach you. At that moment, your suffering is going to go away. Okay, I want to stop you at any time. If I say anything more, more, from this point on, I think I’m going over extending the thought. That’s all for now. Have an incredible Thursday. Tomorrow’s the weekend. And tomorrow’s a Friday, and I’m going to catch you with a very small little podcast episode. Okay. Stay tuned. Keep listening. Bye for now.