Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
Today’s podcast episode is an answer to a question that I have attempted multiple times on this podcast, which is on how to deal with negative people and how to deal with toxicity. I’ve shared techniques, I’ve shared different mindsets, all back multiple times on this podcast. And all of the techniques work. And I’m not saying that one is better than the other. Some people say it’s better to deflect what is coming at you. Some people say it’s better to process it, but quickly process it and don’t give enough brain space mind space to the criticism, move on, allow people to say what they have to say, eventually, they will stop saying some people say block them off different suggestions, different techniques, they all work. But here’s the truth. The truth is, there are people who will demand who will criticize, demand attention, criticize you, and will tell you that they are better than what you are doing. And whatever you’re doing is incorrect, I get that, I understand that. Some people expect me to pay homage to them, I get that understanding. So in a way, it’s good, it’s good to get that kind of, you know, attention from people. Because if you are a student of self-improvement, you want to become better at this, you will, you will become stronger. Our parents don’t make us stronger. Our siblings don’t in some way, make us stronger, but our surroundings do not make us stronger. And if you’re looking for a strong life, it’s okay to get some criticism.
Now, how much space and time you should give two criticism is completely up to you many, many years ago, I suddenly happened to remember this, I came across a story of a tree that grows in Indonesia. This is called a street called Upas tree. And the Upas tree grows big. And it secretes a poison. It’s a poisonous tree, the poison grows so thick, that it kills all kinds of vegetation around it. So nothing can grow. Under the shelter of this tree. It destroys the surroundings, it poisons everything. So wherever there is life, there is poison. And the job of the poison is to kill. So if you are good-minded and sincere, and you have well-being in your heart people expect some level of negativity and criticism coming at you. And as I said, it’s natural. See, some people do not know how to love others. And they needed love, or they love others to love them. And this has a lot to do with the way they have raised their upbringing and all that sometimes people deliberately shut the door on them. Because who knows if they love them, they open themselves up, then maybe they will be hurt again. Because they were hurt in the past. So their emotions, they don’t want to open up that open themselves up. And they don’t want to deal with all the emotions that otherwise will be challenged and or will be stepped upon. So whatever the case may be, some people are you know, they just don’t know how to love and how to be loved. So here is the general message. When you see someone who is angry, who is criticizing is throwing negativity at you the position that I suggest you take because this question has a long description, you’re asking me what, what I suggest you do is that do not intercept and do not attach it’ll sense to them. When you attach it’ll sense, then you can’t process what they’re saying you will resent and you will react when you do then they may come back even harder. You’ll have to show some compassion towards them at some level of compassion, not a lot but some levels. That means you allocate a part of your heart to this stuff. And in a way, you also have to bear the burden.
If you’re in social life on social media, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a celebrity or not a celebrity doesn’t matter those so if you’re if people have liked your photos, they have written good comments about you Then there is a possibility that they will also say some things that you may not like, and you’re open to that, you should be open to that. And as many people praise me for this podcast, I do get I do hear things people message me, I don’t talk about that because that doesn’t really help my cause here. But then people say, oh, you know, you contradicted yourself, you didn’t say this, right? You never got to the point you were on and on for 20 minutes, you never really said what you were supposed to say. So your net, your illustration is incorrect, your key points are off, and your voice was low. So I get that, I understand that you see how they mostly get charged up. What I’m saying is that it’s there in me, you know, but I excuse those weaknesses and an innovator also tries to make up for their defects. So as much as they hate my imperfections, I create some space in my heart to love their imperfections. And the purpose is to have a true spirit of charity. In whatever you do, when the true spirit of charity is missing, all kinds of things come in, you see, there is no amount of money that can compensate for your hard work. For example, if you go to a doctor, a doctor will save your life, how much money will you pay the doctor? No matter how much money you pay, then I don’t think it’s sufficient to save your life. Whatever that is, I’m not seeing a doctor, anybody who saves your life, what money will you pay? Because we can’t value that how can you value your life is invaluable? So you not only pay a doctor but also you pay with your good wishes you pay with your blessings you pay, you know, all different levels of payments come in. When you deal with somebody who is angry, who is negative about charging you saying things to you that pull you down, and that hurt you.
The problem is not with you, you know that. And your job is to see the defect in them, you see how they’re broken, and, and see if you can help them. But if you cannot help them, understand the situation so that you can, and you will not be overwhelmed. You don’t take it into your heart and you start breaking apart. I hope I answered your question. And anything else I say and I’m stretching it, but you see you have to take a position you have to take as you have to just open yourself up and position yourself with the with a mind where you’re doing charity. Anything else you’ve tried to fix, you will be hurt, you try to overpower them, you will be hurt. And there are more expenses that you will incur as a result of using a wrong strategy or putting yourself in any other situation. This is my observation and I could be wrong though. I could be wrong. So but either way.
Hopefully, this is helpful. If it is let me know. Have a wonderful Saturday and I’ll catch up with you tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your questions, and I appreciate everything. Thank you