Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
Welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Sunday morning to you. Today on the podcast, I want to extend a discussion I was having this weekend with a friend of mine, asking me some tips about inner peace, the discussion not necessarily asking me but the conversation when did inner peace. And I made a point I said, you can get rid of all the dysfunctions of life, whatever dysfunctions you have got going your inner negative attitudes you can get them, you can take them out, there are so many ways to get them out. I talk about hypnosis. But regardless, whichever one you believe in, you can get rid of or minimize or diminish the majority of the inner attitudes if you can spot them. And one of the pursuits of life is to spot those inner attitudes. The one that is very hard to get rid of, is easy, but most people have difficulty getting rid of his grudges. And I was, the discussion went into grudges.
So I made a few points in the conversation, I want to highlight that on today’s podcast. And because I’m sure at some point, you did get angry at someone, somebody did something to you, maybe something inappropriate, maybe you had been holding on to it for a long amount of time. And maybe you made an attempt to get rid of it. It’s impossible that a good thought never crossed your mind. Now, why am I angry at this individual? Why can’t I make peace with this individual, maybe that thought did come across your mind? But then somehow you held on to that grudge, it happens across the board. So how do you not get consumed by bad feelings for another individual or another person and eliminate those feelings out of your mind so that you have a happy life? Otherwise, this is a game of happiness and fulfillment. So if you get consumed by other people’s negative emotions, or consumed by the negative emotions you have for other people, then it’s a counterproductive exercise, you can never achieve peace. So what kind of things are what are some techniques or what are some ways within which we can get rid of grudges from our system?
The first and foremost in all this is we as humans, are capable of doing one thing, which others do not do or cannot do. And that is making a choice. So you can make a choice, I can make a choice, all of us can make a choice, we have that mind we have been gifted. So the question becomes is this if you have a choice to make a choice, if you haven’t, that’s interesting, you have the choice to make a choice. In fact, that is true, you have a choice to make a choice. If you’re capable of making a choice, why not use that capability to make a positive choice. So positive choices, I make the choice of not getting angry at an individual not holding on to the emotion that I had been holding on to for the last 30 years or 20 years, I make the choice now. See, it’s a choice, I make that consciously. It’s a conscious effort, but I make the choice. So when I do that, effectively, I’ve shut down all the negative things from that point on. So in a way, it gets diminished, that feeling diminished. So I’m taking a much bigger and a higher approach to dealing with a problem that happened 30 years ago and keeps bothering me forever and interferes into the piece that I’m I’ve got going on that I’m trying to create for myself. That’s the first approach I would do. That’s the first approach I would take.
Now, there’s also one more awareness here, which is every time you think ill or negative about someone, you may think you have a higher power, which creates a higher power in you at that moment. It does feel it gives a good feeling. Yeah, you know, you know, shouldn’t have done that to me, and what does he think about this, you think that I am? So it gives you power at the moment. But again, that power is when you are alone with yourself. Right? So it does give you the power at the moment. But then there’s also a domino effect. You do that every day in every moment you think about somebody and you kind of build up this feeling within you. And slowly you will start seeing that this negative feeling for somebody is now going to spread across all aspects of your life and has a domino effect. If you don’t deal with it. It does trust me. It spreads into your complete existence. And if not checked properly, it could even spill into other areas of life. This is where people pull you their kith and kin against somebody.
The pollute dangerous when it happens that way. Now one other way to deal with this problem is if you haven’t negative feelings for someone. And you know, it’s not the right thing for you, and you understand the effects of it. One other way to deal with this is kind of putting yourself in that person’s shoes. That individual shoe. Oh, by the way, technically, at this point, I would stop this recording because there’s a lot of noise. And from outside coming in, my dad is in the other room, and He’s coughing, sneezing, and all that. So he’s going through a bad, cold, all good. I could stop the recording, but I’m not because I got a lot of focus and intensity on this recording. So don’t stop this. So this is real, this is real, you say this is real. Okay. Coming back to the point. So I take what is called a position on that individual, I put myself in their shoes. And see why did this individual do this way. Maybe they lack information, maybe that influenced by somebody else, maybe they lack the know-how maybe they are consumed by some other things that are happening in their life, maybe they don’t have enough mental quotient to make a good choice, good decision, maybe. And when I put myself in their shoes, now, suddenly, you know, my position is bigger and bigger than the problem that I’m consumed with.
Now, once I see from their side, I can probably make up some observations, even though they may not be real. But it does help me because it allows me to forgive them. And by the way, they could be completely crooked. It does. That’s not that may not be the reality. But that means that as a conscious thinker, I’m looking for a way to resolve this within myself. And by saying by speculating or kind of creating this false perception of what they might be going through, allows me to resolve the problem within myself. There is another way of doing this also, sometimes we see when I deal with situations where two relatives are fighting, and one relative did something. And the other relative is now sad and has been sad for 2030 years, how do you resolve a situation like that? So we do what is called a third person, in a position third person, so you know your position because you’re affected, and you know that maybe your cousin or your brother or sister might have said something to you and you’re not in talking terms for like, whatever, 2030 years, you know them. But you take a third person position on them, which is you think about maybe parents, your parents, maybe your teachers? How would my dad deal with this? How would my mom deal with this? What would my mom tell my cousin? Or what would my cousin’s Mom, tell me something like that, so you start putting yourself in their shoes.
Now, what you’re doing is you’re mimicking the values of elders, more experienced people, then you are somebody who has a different view of the situation and those values, the parents and your father or mother or your aunt, uncle, their values are in you. So, when you take their position mentally, you now are drawing from their energy from their power. So, what would they tell? How do you deal with the situation and once you listen from them, by putting yourself in their shoes, you will operate very differently on the ground is one other way to resolve this issue. Now, at the core of all this is this you got to reason everything with your thoughts, then with your emotions, you cannot reason out anything with emotions. This is the core because your mind allows you to think and reason and creating your emotions only allows you to react. Your mind allows you to act your emotions allow you to react the separation is very, very important if you have completely ignored everything in this podcast episode, you probably got distracted listening to it. There were some distractions here in the room also. This is the point mind creates emotions are to react. So use the mind to create reason and think wherein use your emotions to react. To apply the mind don’t apply the emotions is the case in the point.
That’s pretty much it for today’s podcast. I hope today’s one is helpful. I was in such a flow. I didn’t want to stop this. So I went on recording this. Excuse the sound, excuse the traffic. I’m in an open space recording this, but I’m hoping that today’s podcast is valuable. Thank you,