Moving States, New Job and Caregiving: How To Make It All Work?

Moving States, New Job and Caregiving: How To Make It All Work?

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Today’s podcast is again, an answer to a question that came in life on my radio show this past Tuesday. welcome, or welcome back to success for Srini. Happy Saturday morning to you. So my radio show success with Srini airs on Bali 92.3 FM. This Tuesday, this past Tuesday, five minutes into the show. Nilesh calls me with a question which I sincerely appreciated because it sounded like the way he started the question. I did not check with him. But the way he started the question, it sounded as if he was listening to the show for the very first time, he probably did not have any idea who I am. I do not know that. So I’m just making it up. This is what I feel about the way he asked the question. So if you are juggling your time between your parents, and your children, you have parents who are demanding more of your time. If you have parents for whom you are the caregiver, then this question and today’s podcast episode is for you. And before I go any further, let’s go to the question that we play the question. And I’ll come back, and I’m going to add a few more things to the answer that I already gave on air. So let’s go to that. Appreciate the call. Thank you. What’s your name? And how can I help you?

Nilesh, Srini.

Nilesh? How can I help you Nilesh?

Yeah, I have a question. Basically, I used to work in Virginia, for 10 years, and just recently got a new job in Burlingame, California. And I have like my family, my mom stays with me and I have to move here. But my mom has Parkinson’s. So needs some help, you know, during the work day. So I’m really looking for some guidance or tips on how to do this move. Because of the big move for the family. I just joined the job in like six days. And slowly and slowly. I want to settle down and bring the family here. Find help for my mom for any suggestions or guidance.

Okay, Nilesh, first of all, I’m sorry. How old is your mom?

My mom is only 77 years old.

Do you have any other help? Like you have any family here?
And no help here.
Okay. Yeah. So, you know, the reason why I’m pausing on this question is that this is something that I deal with. And, you know, I’m a caregiver to my dad, who is 89 years old with dementia, stroke, all that so I can relate to this. I live with this problem every day. So and you have a new job. And I understand it’s very difficult to, you know, balance the outside activities with an inside activity, things you can hire caregivers. If you’re new to California, I’ll suggest something. Do you have insurance and all those things sorted out?


So I suggest that you talk to a social worker in the county, in which county you’re going to live in.

My job is Burlingame. But then my mom is only … So I don’t know.

Okay. do me a favor, text me. And what I’ll do is I will connect you to my social worker at the Santa Clara County, and let them help them to find a social worker who can speak Gujarati and then they can, you know, I can help you with all the support that that that you can get, including, you know, enrolling into HSS. I don’t know if you did that or not. But there are many programs that you can enroll in and things like that. And the reason why is because there are certain benefits that kick in, in my understanding, I could be totally wrong, but certain benefits kick in beyond the age of 70. So that’s why I was asking the age. Okay, text me. And let me get all the details.

Thank you so much.

Thank you appreciate the call. Thank you. Nilesh. Okay, welcome back to Saturday. So we are inserted in now. Okay, so I played that question because I felt somewhere within that I did not answer the question at a level that I should have answered when Nilesh called in. So my office reached out to Nilesh and said, there will be a detailed podcast with an answer to this question one more time. Srini is going to record it, and we’re going to send it to you. So the question was, I’m moving How do I do this move, but the way I heard it, I heard as if he’s looking for some resources. Now, I don’t think answered the question at its core, which is how do I do this move?

Now, here is how I can tell you What you should do, but if I wake up in your shoes tomorrow, then how would I do this move? First, I will either establish the family or the parent. So I’ll move the family first. And make them comfortable here. And then I’m going to bring the parent because moving a parent with a challenge like that is hard. It’s difficult. And it involves a special focus, not saying effort, but focus. So I would do that. That’s fine. My question was, is that help? Available? I did go there. But I didn’t get the time to really complete, my processing so I could answer it. And glad I have this podcast so I can answer. If there is a family in Virginia, in this case, then I would have the mother stay with the family or find some caregivers locally there. If not, then I’ll move the mom here first, and then get caregivers to come in and take care of her while I go back and move the family something like that I would structure this I wouldn’t do it at once. Because clearly there is work involved here there is a new state involved and all that. So that is there is more to this. Now, where do you find caregivers a question I get all the time. So is one such website that gives you the flexibility to find caregivers on an hourly basis. If you want to go a little bit more elaborate, then you have homecare, which homecare desk, which gives you a little bit more detailed, you know, options, such as somebody sleeping in the night in the house and daytime care, hourly care, all that.

So you know, hands-on care, hands off, get all that stuff. So there are all these resources that are available. There are two other things that I talked about, as you heard as I was responding to Nilesh, which is California State also does what’s called the SS in-home support services. That means you can have somebody come in and take care of the bear and for which the state will pay. That option is there. And then there are some other options also, that are available, depending upon the need and the kind of insurance. So it’s very difficult for me to say this because I’m not qualified to talk about it. But then because I go through it, hence, I’m just collecting everything that I have experienced myself to put this forward. And then there are depending on insurance, things like more specialized services, come in skilled nursing facilities, and all those things can be added. If needed. I’m saying if needed, looks like this may need some skilled nursing also, all that is available depending on the age, the program, and the insurance. So it’s a combination of these three. But California is amazing. Those benefits are there here. So welcome to California Nilesh. And welcome to the Bay area. So you’re in a great place, you will provide great care to your mother. And at the same time, you will also create an incredible career for yourself.

I have said multiple times on this podcast, that one of the disadvantages of growing old as we are growing old is that you see your loved ones suffer as they even age further. So not a good thing to go through. And specifically not a good thing for a child to go through this process of taking care of a parent and juggling professional situations and the next-gen and everything is very hard. It’s very difficult. And I expressed that emotion very early as Nilesh called him into the show. It’s hard, it’s difficult, but it has to be done. And very few people have this blessing of their parents with them in America. So that blessing is there for you. Nilay Shah, I also forgot to mention this on the show when you call them. So it’s a different thing to say that hey, my, my parents were with me in the past away, but says my parents worse in a different country. And I could not go. I mean I couldn’t see them for years. And I have a friend of mine who expert who is going through this agony right now where he couldn’t see his father pass away due to COVID and all those things happen. And then recently mother passed away I see I can really really feel the pain that he goes through. He can’t express it in words. So all the power to you know less and everybody else. Anybody who’s listened to this podcast today, all the party caregiving is not easy, but it’s also cosmically very rewarding.

That’s all for now. Hopefully, today’s podcast is helpful. And if it is, let me know and I will come back tomorrow with, in fact, I’m going to record tomorrow’s podcast today. That’s the beauty of it and make it available for you tomorrow. And I’m going to take the second question from Guarav who called in on my show, and I’m going to share a few more thoughts about the answer that I got up. Okay. So that’s all for now, wherever you are, be safe, and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye now.

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