Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
Welcome back. On the podcast today I’m answering a question. That is a long one big one. And I’ll make an attempt. Now, this gentleman first heard me talk about my being an introvert. And later on trying to become an extrovert, and then along the way, new through numerous different tests, I found out that I’m an ambivert. So I did a podcast on this some time ago. So this gentleman listened to this podcast episode and ever since, became a regular listener, and ended up sending an email to me, telling me about how he has difficulty in speaking up and expressing himself in meetings, eventually ends up pleasing everyone, and not going through his own feelings, so leaves unhappy, and he leaves a very authentic life. According to me, if somebody does that, not an authentic way of living life, I did a podcast on this, I talked about this, you know, all that. So if you are listening to this for the very first time, then I suggest that you check out the earlier podcast, I’m gonna drop a link for the earlier podcast if you’re watching this on YouTube. So let’s get into this.
See, when you speak about others all the time, and you end up not speaking about yourself, you don’t get a chance to express your feelings, you don’t put your values forward, then the chances are that in a way, you are erasing your self worth, you keep on doing this for a long amount of time, you will no more be yourself, you will be somebody completely different. And this is another form of cognitive dissonance, you have multiple thoughts, you have multiple feelings, and you have multiple values, you really do not know which side you are playing. So depending upon a given situation, wherever you are, you try to go with one value. And again, when that value gets challenged, you go to the other value, the opposite value, and you don’t know where you stand. So this is essentially an act where you will never really lead a full life if you stay in that mode. And by leading a full life, what I mean is taking on difficult things, you’re simply living an average life, even though you may be making a lot of money, even though you might be financially well off all that is there. But then there is going to be some lingering you know, sense of unhappiness that gives you an example.
Hopefully, this conveys the point. I’ve seen, you might have seen to where some celebrities, they take on some topics. And they keep going very hard with their views. We call them activists, they don’t see themselves as an activist, they think that they need to speak on those topics. I have done that too, in the past. And my experience was I got good praise for what I said. And I also got some pushback for some of my views. I don’t do it as much I don’t use Twitter and all that. But the point is, people, do some celebrities do they have a huge following have a huge presence have big names. They are big names and all that. But then a question comes up why do they do this, some people do this because the media is a part of the media says that they do because they want fame, a part of media says that they do this because they want to have a political, you know, whatever their ambitions. What it comes down to truly is people who speak up, express their feelings, or those who want to lead a full life.
This is my observation, personal observation, they want to lead a full life. They think this is a way of doing it. They think by doing this, they are authentic, which is the truth. When you speak your feelings, you are authentic, then they also think that they are fearless. And whatever fears they have, this is a way to attack those fears. So if somebody comes and says something about a world situation going on, they themselves are attacking the fears that they have within themselves. It has nothing to do with the world issue. Maybe Maybe not, but they also have an element of that within them. That’s why they’re speaking now. This takes us to a whole different observation, which is these people are aware of other people’s feelings. So they somehow put themselves in other people’s shoes and they see life from wherever, whichever way the other people are seeing and in the process. They connect themselves with those feelings, the feelings of those people. And now once feeling smart Ah, you have to take on the identity at some level. And you do that for a long amount of time you take on the identity of other people. So an individual who is a celebrity and coming out and speaking, and, you know, going out all the way and saying things in the process, making others angry, the boss is making some people happy, but they’re speaking their mind. All it means is that they are trying to lead an authentic life, they’re trying to lead a full life, and they’re trying to banish some of the fears. And the doing this because they have built awareness in dial in into the feelings of people who do not have a voice.
Now, a lot of people do not have a voice. And this question is coming from there. And if you start going deeper into this question, and you, you know, when was the last time you had a feeling that you wanted to express but you couldn’t, or something stopped me from doing and if you start taking that, and you start digging down, going deep into yourself, you’ll start to see that this is programming, the way you were raised the way you were, maybe the social structure on maybe the brought up that what we say, the social structure, and you probably weren’t programmed to surrender, you’re programmed to not to speak up all that. So you never really experienced freedom. And that has continued. Even today, you’re successful, you’re making money, whatever, you have a great career profession, whatever you have got going for yourself. But somehow you’re not able to express what you have on your mind, then you’re still caged by the values and feelings and thoughts from your childhood. This is what programming comes in. This is where the unconscious retention I talk about all the time here comes in. And your brain has been heavily hijacked by those people, many, many years ago. And now you’re not able to get it back even though you have everything going for you.
How do you break through this? Well, there are so many ways you can start. And again, this has nothing to do with your speaking abilities or your English or whatever language you speak none. And this has to do with you, your convictions, your values, your thoughts, and your feelings all together stacked in one line. I say this all the time you hold your ground if this is a mirror, let’s say these four things, constitute a mirror. Then when you look into that mirror, you see yourself you don’t see any other distortions of your image that come with some deep conviction that comes with positioning you to position yourself in your mind. Now, here’s what I suggest you do next time in a conversation deliberately take the opposite side. If everybody’s agreeing to something, stand up and say I don’t want to do this.
Okay, I don’t want to do this and see what happens. Let’s say you want to go somewhere, and you decide not to go, I’m just giving an example, stand up and say, Hey, I decided not to go. And I’m not going to see what happens. Because that is your authentic self, you express your authentic self. If somebody is pushing, or making you do something, which you think is not the right thing to do in the greater interest, but you’re still doing it because by not doing you are going to make somebody unhappy for whom you care for whom, who is important to you in a later context, then startup, you know, at that moment, you just say that I will not go with this, I can’t do this, and you start small, just don’t do it. In larger contexts, start small, see what happens and then build that nerve and build that muscle that is going to create that identity for you. And from there, it all goes. I’ve also said this here, the most flexible individual is successful in any context, any situation. But swing extreme flexibility also back, you know, breaks your backbone. So you got to be careful how you do this. But I know for sure that if you can’t express your feelings, you can’t live a full life this is the truth. And yes, as far as solutions, this email from this gentleman was about can I try hypnosis, and all yes, you can. I would rather have you try some conscious techniques before you go into the unconscious techniques to consciously try to see if you can overcome this. Then if you’re not, if you need a little bit deeper intervention, you could try hypnosis to essentially all hypnosis will do is have you focus on the right thoughts will bring in the right beliefs and those are the right values so that the thoughts are pure and the feelings are correct. So in a way, you are redrawing Your entire subconscious mind specific to the way you want your identity to show up. I think I said it right? Maybe not. Well, I did.
Okay. That’s all there is to this. Hopefully, this podcast will help you to find and express your authentic self. That was my goal. That’s all for now, wherever you are, be safe. And I’ll be talking to you as early as tomorrow. And do send me your questions. Okay. 888-818-0404 You can call them you can text me and all that. Okay, that’s it. Bye now.