Here is the complete transcript of the podcast
Let’s start today’s podcast with a question. And the question is, how many times have you heard the saying, success is revenge? I have no idea who said it for the first time, but I’ve heard this multiple times as a kid. And then, later on, you know, as I started doing seminars, workshops, I’ve seen speakers say this. And that was my understanding for a long time. And knowing what I know, which is not a lot, by the way. But my today’s understanding is, that success is not revenge, forgiveness is revenge. And who said forgiveness is revenge. In fact, forgiveness is the best revenge for the client, an incredible software developer, musician, and later on an American, Buddhist himself. amazing, incredible. He lived a short life but an incredible life. He said, forgiveness, his best revenge. Last week, I did a podcast episode I said, that focuses on what matters the most. And prior to that, on a radio show, I talked about this, I said, in order to have a happy life, you need to forget, forgive, and forward yourself. And that was last week. And the podcast also talked about this. Forgiveness is the best revenge.
Now let’s understand what revenge is and how it works. See, somebody does something incorrect to us, by default, the human system wants to balance it out. And most of the time, we balance it out by seeking some kind of similar kind of impact. So if somebody hurts my responses, and my uninformed responses, I need to balance it out. So I want to hurt them. So once I heard them, it’s going to become equal, it balances itself out. Now, in any situation, you have two people, a victim, and a transgressor. Now, the victim upon getting the pain, or the suffering, wants to balance this, because the victim has been inflicted with the damage. And at that point, the victim does seek out or search for similar kinds of damage that they want to inflict on the transgressor. Well, instead of seeking to inflict, the suggestion here is we find forgiveness. You see, searching for something means or seeking something means that you’re not sure if it’s there or not, but you have to look for it. But when you are trying to find something, that means you know, it’s there. You know, when you go into a new city, you know, that whatever place you want to go is there in the city, but you really, you don’t know how to get there, but you’re not finding where it is. So that means forgiveness is a findable thing. And there’s no word called findable, but you get the point. So it’s there everywhere forgiveness is there. You don’t need to search for it, it’s within you. All you have to do is find it, it’s easy to find forgiveness than to search for similar or higher damage that you want to inflict.
The best definition of forgiveness that I read many, many years ago, was Forgiveness means to erase, to erase something to forego what is to to give up resentment to wipe the slate clean, to release from debt to cancel punishment, to personally accept the price of reconciliation to give up all claims on one who has hurt you and let go the emotional consequences of the tort. De Batiste said, one of the most lasting pleasures you can experience is the feeling that comes over you when you genuinely forgive an enemy. Whether he knows it or not. I have been put in numerous situations as a part of my hypnotherapy practice where people have come to me and said, You know, I’ve experienced some pain very early on in my life. And the transgressor who did inflict this pain on me is not around anymore. That happened to me 30, 40 years ago, but I still live with that pain. And I don’t know how to come out of this pain. And I tell them that I have to take them through at that point, I have to take them through a forgiveness sequence. And we do that in a state of hypnosis very effectively hypnosis is again, you can do it in any different, whatever way you want to approach it. And I’m not saying hypnosis is the only way to do it. But in hypnosis, we try to erase or diminish it a is an extreme word. But then we want to diminish the facts of that emotion as much as possible, and kind of give the brain a new way to look at the same event. You kind of desensitized that event in their mind. And all the things come into play, all this forgive, forgiveness does come into play. And we can’t do that because somebody is coming in and saying, I have this pain that means I want to inflict somehow, I want to take some revenge. I don’t know what, how. And as a therapist, now that they are not there, that individual who inflicted the pain is not there, then listen, they’re not there. Why not? We go through a forgiveness sequence. And forgive this enemy completely. They don’t know you did, they may never know. But you, your mind your heart, your soul know that you’re forgiven. And by doing that you now from this point on, will start living a happier life. Somewhat a fulfilled life.
Tomorrow, in part of tomorrow’s podcast, I’m going to take up the same topic. And I’m going to expand a little bit on why people have difficulty in removing themselves away from these parts. We call them ruminative thoughts where they have the thought they have this thought and the thought keeps on looping itself. And we’ll talk about that tomorrow because I don’t want to extend this to this podcast. But my message on today’s podcast for you is that I want you to start developing your own forgiveness sequence. Wherever as much as you can. Try applying forgiveness and see what it does to you. Do it for a short time, just as an experiment and see how amazing life becomes. That’s all for now. I’ll talk to you soon.