How to become a better observer of people (in 6 steps) and help them improve

How to Become a Better Observer of People (in 6 steps) and Help Them Improve

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

This podcast is a self-improvement podcast. Every day I come here, I take your questions. Sometimes I have some thoughts, and ideas that I want to share from my side. Some observations I’m making, as I am dealing with my day-to-day life, as I’m progressing. Now, specifically yesterday and the day before yesterday, I talked about focus, there was a listener question that triggered the topic, the discussion on focus. I answered the question, then yesterday came back kind of extended that a bit more. And today, I want to innovate and also extend the discussion.

Now, the majority of the time when we want to make a change, we go inside, because we are self-improvement enthusiasts, we are committed to self-improvement. As a listener you are, as somebody who does this from this side, I’m also myself. So we take accountability, we take responsibility, and we put ourselves as the cause for the effects that are not in our favor. So we go back and modify the cause. Yesterday, it was about self-talk, I said, that talk is important for any level of peace, and energy focus that you’re seeking. And self-talk is a way to bring in any inner positive change. And I’ve said that numerous, numerous times, on all my shows, across everything that I have done. A part of self-improvement is also that you listen, and observe. I listen. In fact, I listen a lot, a lot, a lot. And then I speak, I speak very less, I observe. Because I have to learn before I say any things and learning is a significant part of what I do, I suggest that you also do and that’s why I give up the books and things like that on my shows. So listening and observing, not because I want to find problems in people, or I want to prove that my life is better than theirs, which I see most people doing. I listened observe, helped people in the professional men, and have a different mindset to look into people observe people learn what’s happening with them, and listen to what they were saying. So what I want to do on today’s podcast is I want to share with you a formula or a framework through which you start listening and observing people. And there are about six things that you have to see. And I think at some point, I did talk about this too, sometimes I do this podcast, literally on a daily basis, that I forget what I said, I might have said this already before. So if you have already listened to this before, or something similar to this, I want you to pardon me, for taking you for granted, and you are a first-time listener or you’re listening to this concept or the very first time then you will love this. I’m hoping you love this.

So what is that I observe in people, I get questions about the problems about the challenges, what is that I look for? And how I position my thinking was I’m working with them. And not necessarily that you will be doing the same thing that I’m doing. But in my understanding, each one of you doesn’t matter. Your five-year-old listen to this podcast. I don’t think any five-year-old listens. But I’m just saying it. Maybe you are a father, mother, stay home mom, or professional student, It doesn’t matter who you are or what you do, you are in a way in something about you, that does coaching, either you’re coaching yourself, or you’re coaching somebody else. And you’re helping somebody else. And you know, part of our existence is such that there is no singular success. You can’t just be successful on your own. You need to carry people along with you. And you don’t want to see them failing people whom you love, and whom you care for you don’t want them to fail. So you need to carry them along with you. There are a few things that you have to observe. If they’re failing, they’re not making it then you need to observe you need to listen to what they’re saying. And here’s the framework, how I listen to questions. And more. I read people’s problems when they email me.

The goal is simple, but I want to make them better. And I also want to learn through the process myself as I’m making them better. That’s my goal. The first and foremost I see I want to see is where are they focused now at this moment. And what are they doing? What is the current goal that they are trying to accomplish? What is the project that they’re trying to complete? Are they worried about something maybe a test, maybe travel, maybe something that doesn’t matter? What are they worried about? And are nervous. So I want I try to read inconsistencies in their actions. That’s my first data point. And as I collect that, my goal is simple I want to keep them focused, get help them get back the focus, I want to make them stay on track to achieve whatever their goals are. The second part of this is I want to see what is the body posture telling are slumped over, or that’s standing tall and confident if you fall and confident, tall means you’re confident you’re standing tall means confident, it’s the right way to say that. Posture tells us a lot of things. Sometimes posture also tells us how somebody’s feeling in the moment.

Somebody’s feeling defeated feeling low posture, Delta, everything. Then I look into the way that attaches meaning to things around me. So how are they reacting to people around them at the scene good and people are they focused on the negatives of people around them? Personally, do they see obstacles, challenges, or opportunities in things that they are trying to do? Meaning is important. And once it’s amazing how you simply shift somebody’s meaning about things, and you see a magical individual evolve right in front of your eyes and moment, like in seconds. That’s why I say, change is instantaneous, you can see the change in people if you do it right. And to do it, right, you got to get the data. And once you really get the data, it’s easy to reframe someone, their thoughts, and their reactions, it’s so easy to do from people.

Then I focus on language and the words that they’re using. And as I said multiple times here on this podcast, languaging is everything yesterday was on the podcast, also, we talked about self-talk, and I said the words that eventually the words that we say will define our feelings. And we can’t say the right words, unless our thoughts are, right. And we need to think about others the right way before we can say anything. And then the strengths, the strengths, what are the strengths, what are the natural about seeing people who are natural at something, and doing completely something opposite. And I want to fix that. And as a coach, I never tried to change somebody’s natural approach to things, there is no way it’s expensive to change somebody’s natural approach to things shouldn’t modify the natural stuff, and strengths, and I’m looking for some positive qualities in them. So that I can take random advantage if I need them as I’m structuring them or restructuring them. If they’re struggling with something, I try to find a way to help them so that they can play into their strengths. And there’s more to this, but you get the idea. And then the last one is I want to study their everyday life. What do they do on a daily basis? How do they spend their time? What are their daily routines? Can we improve those daily routines? Are they always feeling rushed? If they’re feeling rushed, that means they’re stressed, and if rush and stress cannot be eliminated or addressed then what is the right way to make them relax so that they can take time for themselves?

Now, focus on physiology meaning language strengths and their day-to-day life or everyday life This gives a complete understanding of an individual, and now I have the data to go and apply and find a solution. And this is not a one-time read you keep reading every day. Now this framework is applicable to me too. I studied myself, I woke up this morning not feeling good. So my physiology is off. Hence there is a risk that I may end up attaching the wrong meaning to things. And as a result of that my languaging will go for a toss. And I will not play my strengths today. And as a result of my day will not produce the results that I’m seeking. I’d be careful Okay, try this. You know, apply this and let me know how this approach. Try this for A few days and let me know how this approach helped you and if you could make the changes that you are seeking okay that’s all for now and I’ll be back here again tomorrow and we’ll talk more. Stay tuned.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.