How to Deal with Teenage Stress (Social Pressures, ADHD, Grades etc.)

How to Deal with Teenage Stress (Social Pressures, ADHD, Grades etc.)

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome, and welcome back to Success with Srini. Happy Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I don’t know which day it is, but whichever date is, happy morning, or happy evening to you, I have been getting a lot of questions lately. In fact, for the last couple of months, a lot of questions about penis parenting teenagers, their challenges, their issues, their struggles, their individual dynamics, and their interpersonal dynamics, specifically when parents are involved. So there are so many questions within that category, that if I keep producing one podcast a day, then I probably need about 18 to 20 days. So instead of doing that, I thought, I want to get a guest on the show, which by the way, I don’t do this podcast is not a guest-driven podcast. But I thought I’m going to do that as an exception. Or maybe we’ll see how this goes from here. The first time this year, in 2022, ever since this podcast became a daily podcast, as a coaching podcast, it launched on the first of January 2022. There’s the first time I’m getting a guest on my podcast, who happens to be my daughter. And she happens to be in the studio. And I said you need to get on because I have too many questions. And we need to record a podcast and I caught her totally by surprise. He’s not prepared for this. And she’s in the studio. And I said, Let’s record this podcast, Louis. Welcome to success with Srini how’re you doing?

I’m good. How are you?

I just see. I’m doing great. The minute I press the record button, I’m great. You’re great. Once I switch it off, you know, I’m not that good.

Yeah. You’re just faking it.

I’m faking it. Correct. Okay, so you just graduated high school? Yes. And you’re going to college? And which call is it is?

UC Santa Cruz.

Awesome. Okay. So you have recently in the last three, four months, for sure, last four years, but in the last six months, they have been very stressful for you. Yes. Okay. Now, there was a question about college prep, and all that. But I don’t know if we have time to talk about that. But let me start out by asking the first question, which is, you know, what are the things that you think? Or what? What are the things that you gave? If somebody gives you a clock back? Yeah. And reminds you of the beginning of the ninth grade, like what I would do differently? What would you do differently?

I think about this a lot, actually, I think about like, how I would do high school differently. If I was 14, again, for reference, I’m 18. Now. And for one, I think each of my challenges varies depending on the year, I like freshman year, I struggled a lot with like fitting in being at a big public high school, having people that were not necessarily the nicest to me, and trying to fit in socially, because freshman year, your classes don’t tend to be that hard. But I think it’s more about adapting to a new environment and just finding your place there. But the biggest lesson I took away from that, like freshman year, I would say, is just not caring about what people think about you. Like, if you know what you’re there to do. And if you know who you are, then outside opinions really shouldn’t affect you. And as you get older, you will realize like what people think of you truly doesn’t matter. And the more that you internalize it, the more you suffer, because you’re giving so much weight to opinions that have no true impact on your life and your body and put them second, did you not get the advice when you were 14?

Yes. But it didn’t really matter to me at the time. Because I was like, yeah, that’s just a whole bunch of mumbo jumbo, I just want to like, I just want to fit in, I want to be popular, I want it to be popular, so badly. And the more you chase after things that have no true value for you, the more you suffer, it was just like a whole pointless, external validation game for me.

But don’t think now. But somebody told you not to think too much about it, but you still got into it. And now four years later, you’re telling yourself you shouldn’t have done it. But don’t you think by doing it, you’re better and going through that pain, that suffering, or whatever that is, I don’t know if that is the case, but But going through it now you have that experience, and now you’re stronger as a result of that.

Yeah, I think at the end of the day, people are going to do what they’re going to do. You can’t stop someone from doing what they want to do. So I’m glad I went through the process and I took those lessons. But honestly, if I could go back in time, and just avoid wasting time on things that truly didn’t benefit me and just like drain my energy I just wouldn’t have done it. It’s just a waste of time. That like make like making friends that are cooler or trying to seem cooler just to fit in was like completely pointless for me. But that was like my freshman to like sophomore year experience basically, but then a junior and senior year. My priorities and my struggles shifted completely well. I always heavily prioritize my academics. I never really I’ve like never, I never went to a high school party, I would always like put grades first. And I think that was good, in a sense, because I did prioritize my education. And I like setting that boundary very clearly for those around me. But also, it can become very obsessive. And I know a lot of high schoolers, like their relationships with their, like, their parents suffer a lot because of grades. And they’re not meeting an expectation. And it becomes like a toxic vicious cycle with themselves to expectations, yes, and expectations invisible.

Like, say you get a C on a test, even if you know your parents are going to be upset with you. I think at that moment, what happens is worse, we internalize it so much that were more upset with ourselves than our parents would even be with us. That’s, that was my experience, I have any expectations of you. Like definitely tacit, tacit expectations, even if it was not spoken, it was understood. Like just I think growing up in an Asian household, you know, you have to like hit the mark somewhere, or you’re just like, you internalize it like or your self-esteem like it is lowered by grades. Like I noticed, like my junior year, especially, which is often the hardest year in high school for many, for many teenagers. I started basing my worth on the grades I would get. So if my grades were great, like, my self-esteem would be so high, I’d be so happy. But if I got a bad grade, it could completely throw me off. And I know, like, so many high schoolers deal with that, where our perception of ourselves.

So you’re saying that, for the people who are listening? Yeah, you’re saying that other kids who are listening, you’re saying that if you get a bad grade don’t take you to take it too much into your heart? Yeah, and you get a good grade don’t get excited about it. Is that the message? What’s the message?

No, it’s natural to feel human emotion to be sad if you get a bad grade. And to be happy if you get a good grade. The issue comes with a dwelling when you dwell on a bad grade, especially if dwell on a bad grade, it completely ruins your mood, and it completely ruins your attitude. So say I got a bad grade on my calculus exam. And I’m upset about it for like a minute. But then I’m like, You know what, like, I’m going to study harder for the next test. And I’m going to do well on the next test. That’s a completely healthy and normal attitude. But what often happens is we internalize that bad test grade so much, that it affects our mood, it affects how we perceive ourselves, and it affects how we perceive the subject itself. And if you have low self-esteem in a subject, like for example, math, if your self-esteem is low in the subject, that can translate to how your self-esteem is in general. And we overlook it so much. Because teenagers spend most of their time in high school like you’re there eight hours a day, five days a week. If you have poor self-esteem in one subject, that can significantly affect how you view yourself. But we often overlook that because like it’s amplified Yeah, you just, you’re just trying to get through your day. You’re just trying to like, okay, wake up at 7 am I come home at 3 pm Like I’m done with my day. I have to do this tomorrow. So how much of your struggle was satisfying? Like if you have to take a circle of all the struggles and specifically in terms of grades, how much of that you add effort went into satisfying parents and how much the teachers or how much the social pressures and how much to yourself personally, like how would you distribute your stress?

I will do yeah, my stress. Okay, so I would say I need to get this good because my mom wants it or this is what my dad expects of me. Or is it like I want this grade that’s why I should do this or my teachers they’re not really supporting me because I’m getting bad grades on the subject I need to
know? I think it’s more nuanced than that. Like you can’t just say it’s this one pressure it’s this one stress like it all kind of works together. So like for me personally as I got older, my parents were like are you guys you guys stopped being so like, specific and critical of my grades. It was just kind of implied not that we became anything we just we became clueless because you’re handling everything Yeah, I become I’ve known when I was but when I subject what topics I can’t even demand when I was when I know that not all parents are like that mine like you guys definitely were not as specifically involved right? In my like whole academic process. Especially in high school. I just like took the reins like I just did everything on my own. But I know I was kind of lucky in a sense where it’s like most of my pressure on academics I placed on myself, like I would pull all-nighters and like do stuff that like go the extra mile just for myself like to get a good grade because when I got a bad grade and like your Alma would ask about it. I would just be like, Yeah, I didn’t get a good grade on that test. But I wouldn’t get yelled at or anything. Because you guys saw how hard I was working. I was also dealing with like, a lot of health issues. So like, I think I got lucky in that sense. But nonetheless, since I was like, when I was very young, there was a lot of pressure on me academically..

your hard work, you’re Lopes hiding it, you are lopsided in the sense that you are, you were dealing with too many things. And then eventually waiting till the last minute to get things done. But think about today’s podcast if this podcast is supposed to be airing today, let’s say right, I’ll be under tremendous pressure. But this is a podcast, I’m recording for a future date. And I don’t know when it’s going to be going live. So I’m a little bit relaxed. I don’t have that sense of urgency, right? But what I’ve seen, that’s just an example. But what I’ve seen is you were dealing with, like last minute stuff a lot. Is that a fair assessment? Or am I wrong?

Yeah. Because I have ADHD. And with that, time management is very hard because of time blindness. Like you don’t have a good perception of time, like, you don’t know how long it’ll take for you to get stuff done. But like, while it hit me hard in terms of time management, doing everything last minute, it also likes it kind of is like a superpower sometimes, because sometimes I would like in the last minute that I would do stuff, I would get it done. So well, like quality was amazing. And like time was like incredible, because I had to feel like the fear of like the deadline being done. Like if I hadn’t an essay, and it was given to like I had two weeks to complete it, I would really only be able to do it at 9 pm that night because I had to feel the urgency that was motivating me to meet to get it done. And it really caused me it was so much self-inflicted stress throughout the years because I didn’t manage my time properly. When if had done if I had managed my time properly, then I wouldn’t feel the high adrenaline-like rush of doing it within those past few hours. And like as I’m going into college, and gaining access to more resources, I’m actively like working towards changing that.

So you’ll see an idea today, let’s get into that. Because I get a lot of questions on the topic. Maybe we should come back and do a few more podcast episodes on that. But what’s your message to kids and this is something in your case, you became proactive? And you found out but most kids don’t. And I get a lot of parents who reach out to me. And I tell them to go get an evaluation and several of my friends like my work friends, my college friends, I insisted upon they take their kids and get them a proper diagnosis. They thought hypnosis is going to fix it and all which I say you know, it’s hit and miss. But yeah, what’s your suggestion on this whole ADHD stuff? There’s a lot of information on it. Yeah, but there isn’t. Yeah, a lot either. Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. It’s like, there’s a lot out there. But there’s also not a lot, I got diagnosed what like what we would consider in the American system very late. I got, I got diagnosed literally this year at 17. So I had gone through literally 12, 11, and a half, like basically 12 years, through the American education system, struggling in specifical math, not knowing why it was so hard for me to grasp. And I vividly like remember so many experiences as a kid that was just so bizarre to me, like, I would not be able to stop talking like every report card. excellent student, excellent student, but just like cannot stop talking. And I would like to be able to finish essays that we were given one hour to do in 15 minutes. But to understand one math question, would take me forever.

So naturally, one area is some Yes, yes.

The other area is it tends to be like that for a lot of kids with ADHD, whether it be like math or reading, they tend to be so good at one of them, but often not both. What do you think
if I if I go to for an ADHD, see a lot of sees, I know anybody who’s listening to this podcast, you know me better than anybody. So if knowing what you know, if I go through an ADHD test myself, do you think I’ll get I’ll be diagnosed positive or at some point?

Even if, like I know you well, I don’t think I can accurately say that because I’m, but I do not see. I’ll preface it by saying, I’m not a psychiatrist, so I wouldn’t exactly know. But I do notice we have a lot of similar mannerisms. Yeah, so I would think so. I don’t think so. I would think so. Yeah, because there’s a lot of like KY indicate I wish I got diagnosed when I was younger. So I could be given like, a lot more like resources help like medication, all that because it would have made the process so much easier. The longer, you don’t know, or the longer you, that’s just how much more you struggle and like the real world. So because ADHD falls under neurodiversity, so your brain naturally functions differently, the way you the way I perceive the world is completely different than how a neurotypical person would, which makes it very hard in certain aspects to navigate. And like, I remember like, once, when I was in fourth grade, a teacher told Amma that like she just doesn’t like she went to the teacher, like had a conference with her and told her like, she just doesn’t care. For a time, she has no fear of consequences or time, she just takes her sweet time doing things. And I’ve never seen a student that just is so like carefree in that regard, like in a negative way, concerned way. And, um, I told me this years later, and she was like, yeah, in that moment, I, I remember, my fifth-grade teacher would like, it felt like she’d always pick on me for talking even though everyone else was. And I got sent out like three times and I would just cry because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. I didn’t know how to fix it. So what’s your message to the parents? My message to parents with ADHD especially in like the Desi community is there’s like a lot of stigma around, mental illnesses, and being like perceived differently, or weird. I’d say just go get your kid evaluated, and help them get a formal diagnosis because it can help them so much. It can help them so much like this. The education system itself is flawed here. Because it is like it’s just a scale of like rote metal just watching a video last night. Yeah, by somebody who made a point. He said the education system is the only education system the one that the world follows today. Yeah, has not been touched in the last 1000 years.

So Oxford, Harvard, Oxford, Oxford, started, what 1100 Something called 100 something and the year and they used to come to the white to the board and write things. Yeah. And even today, people walk up to the board and right. So nothing had changed a lot this. And the incredible point he also made, is the second biggest expense beyond a house is education. Yeah. And so multitrillion-dollar industry said that can be revamped and learning, even new approaches the way college admissions and everything works. It’s just a money game, honestly. But I was going to talk about how the education system I think fails students in that it is so geared in a certain way, you have to get this certain grade to like pass or to be good. And it’s like, even that grade is just based on like your memorization skills. A lot of it is like not understanding after you take a test, you really remember everything that was on it. You forget it when you’re studying for the next unit. Like, I think we’ve really lost the essence of learning and processing information, especially in like, recent generations. It’s like we’re, every single one of us is doing it for a grade. And if you say you’re not, you’re lying, we’re doing this to get the grades. We’re doing this so that we can get that career we’re doing this so we can make money. Like it’s very unfortunate. But that’s the reality of it. Because that’s how this country is set up. That’s how the whole world is. So that’s how the whole world is set up. And basically, academic ladders get you the money.

Academic ladders, yeah, how you do it on the ladder. But what are you losing to make that money? Exactly? That’s the question. Right? Yeah. Isn’t that the question? Yeah. Okay. So you’re telling the parents not to go after grids are telling parents not to tell the kids to go off after dates?
No, I’m not telling I’m not telling like parents what they should do, I just think that we need to be more mindful, and how we approach it, because yelling at your kid for getting a bad grade like we can get into the neuroscience of it, if you like, really want to, if you’re constantly reinforcing for them. Let’s say your kid gets a bad grade on their tests. If you’re screaming at them saying you suck, like how could you do this? What’s wrong with you? You’re like hitting them. God knows what you’re doing, right? You’re just enforcing a negative cycle. It’s a negative reinforcement cycle. Like, the more you tell them that that’s why ages zero, ages zero to seven are very important because that’s when kids are developing consciousness and their cognitive abilities. So whatever information is fed to them during those initial seven years can stick with them for a lifetime. Forget whatever. Yeah, it’s programming. Yeah. And unfortunately, so many adults programs such negative things to their children. And then those children have to deal with these like subconscious limiting beliefs and struggles that aren’t even their own. So let’s say seventh that’s first or second grade, they get a bad grade on a test and they’re being yelled at. And they’re being told, like, you suck. You’re horrible. Like, how could you do this? You’re just reinforcing for the kid that they suck at that. So what are they going to do, they’re going to have poor self-esteem in the subject, they’re going to go take their next test with zero confidence, zero belief in their abilities, zero belief that they can do well in this subject, get a bad grade, you’re gonna yell at them again. And then they’re just going to continue that cycle. And you’re just reinforcing the bad grades, and you don’t realize you’re causing them. That’s, it’s so interesting. That’s why if you reverse engineer it, and you’re more positive towards your children, and you’re encouraging them, and if they get a bad grade, you acknowledge how much they’re already putting their selves themselves down. And you encourage them and tell them, No, how can I help you? How can I give you assistance here so that you can do well next time? And even if you don’t, you tried your best? The more you enforce a positive reinforcement cycle, the better they’ll do.

Let’s see, the struggle with parents is they have their own stressors, right? Yeah, there’s too much going on in their life, they have the carrier, they have the money situation, on parents, there’s so much going on in their life. So it’s difficult for them to regulate all the challenges that we are facing, it doesn’t matter how big they are, and how grown up they are,

I think, and also what happens is, that I know parents are worried about and care a lot about their kids. But because they deal with like so much in their personal lives. Grades are the one area where they can project all their anger and frustrations, and work onto their kids. visible, tangible. I’m worried like, my boss might fire me like my job is on the rocks. Like I have to take care of my parent, like, I don’t know, as my finances pay, I have to pay the bills, like, I don’t know, like our social circles, whatever falling apart, like my marriage, it’s like, it’s Rocky-like I’m dealing with all these struggles. Oh, you got to see it on your chemistry test. What is wrong is wrong with you, I hate this is why you’re worthless. Like that’s, that’s how it goes. That’s how it goes. And unfortunately, children are so young and innocent. And even if a child is rebellious and claims to hate their parent, they on a biological level, seek comfort from them. Hmm. Especially like, especially with your parents, like you seek comfort from your parents. Because like, even like on a mammalian level, like they are meant to nurture you, they’re meant to raise you and your child, your brain is not fully developed yet. So you rely on your parents, whether it’s not emotionally, it’s financially, and even that financial level feeds into the emotional level. You rely on your parents, and when you lose that support structure at home, it completely breaks your foundation for how you view yourself and how you view the obstacles in front of you.

Yes. You know, that there was an author who wrote a book on this, and I forgot the name, maybe I’ll look it up and post it as a part of the podcast in the podcast notes. You know, when your shelter hurts you, yeah, something along those lines. Yeah. So what do you suggest in the earlier podcasts, I have said this, I said every teenage parent should take training on how to raise their children. Did you? I did not. Do you think you should? I thought I should not only now you have once you rate once you become I say that, but I didn’t do that. And I didn’t do that. Because I can say that. I can tell others what they should do. And I did. But in all fairness, in all fairness, I have taken direct guidance from people who are experts in this field on how how to approach this whole area and could have done better. So this by the way, even though I say that take a seminar on parenting, teenage parenting, I don’t think seminars will help. And there are many schools. They give you the training. Some schools have programs that I think the San Ramon school system or the public school system has some classes. I don’t know if Cupertino Union School District has it. What do they say Fremont Union School District for Cupertino? Yeah, I don’t think they have it. Maybe they do now, but back in the day, they didn’t need it the most. The most. Okay, I let them know. Okay. But its bottom line is this bottom line is competitive. Yeah. Not only for the kids but also for the parents, right? So so it’s hard. It’s difficult. That’s why it’s very hard to live in Silicon Valley, it’s very hard to create a carrier in Silicon Valley. It’s difficult if you don’t follow a template. And by the way, the template is not constant either. But there has to be a template that you have to follow that is proven, and you got to modify the template to work for you. And most people modify it but doesn’t work for them at the level they expect it to work, but that’s okay. But there has to be a structure that has to be an approach and there has to be thinking behind how to lead an all-inclusive life. And I keep repeating myself on this podcast, driving that message. But yes, to your point, I should have done more of that. But I think no matter how many classes you take, how to raise children how to raise their, you know, teenage children, it doesn’t matter, I think you really have to keep on learning. And keep on learning, regardless of where, how far you live, and how far you go, once you understructure, you can’t escape the learning. Yeah.

Because, like no uniform, mold, or model is going to apply. They didn’t give me the instruction manual I was looking for once when we were born, both I and my mom were looking for an instruction manual. We couldn’t find it.

Yeah, because everyone’s situation is different. Every kid is different. Every parent is different. So if you try to like, generalize, and you like, make it this, like, completely universal experience, I just think it’s counterproductive in that sense. Because let’s say you take something from a seminar, and you try to apply it and it just doesn’t work with your kid. Are you gonna go yell at the person who threw the seminar? Or are you gonna yell at your kid? Like, oh, you’re not following the instruction manual. It’s very nuanced. And you have to learn how to navigate. And it’s a consistent learning process. Like even though I’m 18. Now, aren’t you? And I’m constantly learning more about parenting. Aren’t their things you want to do differently with us?

Yes, totally. Yeah, totally. So let’s see, we are quite a bit into this question for you. You clearly said that. There were expectations you had to meet. And you also made a point that kids in high school, they come they deal with many expectations coming from different directions, right? We talked about that. How about homework? Did it bother you?

Yeah, homework was crazy for me, because I went to a very, very competitive high school for my first two years. And my last two years, I did the IB diploma. So I was always packed with what’s yours? What’s your suggestion on how to deal with homework? What are the shortcuts? Shortcuts with homework? No shortcuts. But yeah, I would always do my homework, I was that kid that always did my homework, because, like, the repetition really imprints it into your brain, what you’re learning, and it’s really helpful. But with homework, I would say, it would take me like, six, or seven hours sometimes. And that’s because like, a central part of ADHD is not being able to focus. But I recommend the Pomodoro method, which is like where you do a task for like 15 minutes, take five-minute breaks, like reward yourself somehow. And like that way, you can get it done so much quicker. And even if you think oh, my god, 50 minutes, you’re gonna get so much more done in that time than you would normally do. If you just were like, if you just like, went with the mentality that like, Oh, I’m just gonna sit here and try to do this. Like, it’s gonna take forever. Like, no, like, there are ways to stay on track. And the more focused you are, the faster you can get it done.

Okay, so, yeah, I talked about the Pomodoro technique on the podcast many, many months ago. Okay, how about grades? I think we talked about grades, no need to worry about them. Yeah. Oh, do you need to worry about them? Do you worry about them positively? Don’t worry about them negatively, say do your best, your best realize that you are human. And you will naturally feel disappointed if anyone that’s telling you don’t be upset about your F like they’re delusional. It’s a human reaction to feel upset over something that’s distressing, something you worked hard to it, but just learn to live in the present moment.

What do you think we’ll get a grade for this podcast? A, B, C, D, E, or F? What do you think? I don’t know. I don’t know. We’ll let our listeners rank us rate us grade us.

Okay. Well, yeah. I’ll get lots of emails. I’ll tell you. Okay. Did you as you’re going through this, there is another question. As you are going through this ninth 10th 11th 12th grade? Were you understanding the classes you are taking? Or you’re doing it just because you are supposed to do it? Or do they?

I think okay, I definitely struggled a lot in math. But I think that motivated me more to build my understanding of the subject. So I think especially in like middle school, and earlier in high school, it’s easy to be like okay, let me just like get by. But then there comes a point I think in everyone like learning process where you’re like, No, if I’m struggling in this, like, I actually want to get a grasp of it because you feel so good when you understand it. Like math is so fun when you get it I always say that. Math is so fun when you understand what’s happening when it’s when you struggle, where you build resentment towards the class and you build more resistance towards learning the content and learning the material.

Okay, let me phrase this question differently. Okay. Are you suggesting that whoever is going through high school or middle school graduates to high school or whatever school, wherever they are? Are you suggesting they understand their classes?

Yeah. Because if you don’t understand, you’re just going to be completely clueless in that. Okay. So and that is the worst feeling.

Right? So question is, how would they understand this? Because they’re doing it as you did? Yeah. And they’re doing it because that’s what they’re asked that’s for they’re expected to do so to go through every class, right? But should they stand up and say, This is not what I want to do? Because this doesn’t align with what I want to do? Or they will still do it. But then they have to have a different approach. Because understanding as a subject becomes more advanced, yeah, you know, you can’t keep up it becomes harder. I just said the segment, right comes in. I’ve seen classes when I was growing up, seeing classes that were very difficult, and eventually became easier as I worked them. And there are some topics within for example, in math. Yeah. So when I was growing up in sixth grade, I did a podcast on this to sixth grade, or seventh grade, there was a problem that goes like this. So a train crosses a pole. You know, those problems? Did you have those problems? At a certain speed? Yeah. And there was something about the calculation of the distance of something I never got the core principle behind it. Nice to always avoid that question. Got it. And I also had one more question as a kid, which was when you open the tap water fills the bucket at a certain rate. And then there is water is coming out of the bucket at a certain rate or something like that. And after three hours, how much water is left or something like that? Yeah, like displacement, something like that. Right? I never got it. Hence, I always avoided it. And eventually, much, many, many years is up to you. I did. I wrote GMAT. And a similar question came up. And my attitude was weak on that. And I lost it that also years later, I made a podcast on this, but okay, I think I think that’s all there is to this. Yeah. So we are pretty well, okay, so we are over 30 minutes into the podcast, you suggest professional help all along? Or is people are overdoing it? I’ve seen parents who are college admissions counselors, they start in sixth grade. What’s your take on that? You never took a counselor? Do you know what to do? I didn’t do counseling. I think that if you really want to, you can like do it if you have the financials for it and if you really think that’s your best option. I don’t think it’s necessary. And I do think that especially in the Bay Area, parents are overdoing it because they’re just trying to keep up. So they’re like pushing their kids so so hard.

You will never do counseling. You never took any help with your essays? No. You never took any help with understanding the college landscape? No, all you did on your own. Yeah. So just on record, I did not do anything. I just paid 5570 55 $70 for all the colleges that you applied to. And you wrote essays for all the colleges on your own? Yeah. Wow. Okay. So that’s not a good thing. But it should help. Well, it’s not necessary.

No, well, I think everyone’s situation is different. If you have you have support, and if you have resources, that’s great. Good for you. I do think that, again, it is a money thing, where the higher you go up, like the more access you have to admission counselors and the more access you have to pay to get in and it’s a whole game in and of itself. But I would say like, in my situation. I am my parents, like the first kid. And my parents are immigrants. And they’re new in this country like, right? So I didn’t want to put that stress on them. And I wasn’t going to blame them for not
revealing everything. Everybody thinks that I’m born and raised here.

No, no one thinks no one thinks so. Why? Yeah,

I’m so good at this. No, no, no. Okay. Okay, maybe not. Maybe I think too much about myself.

Okay. Anything. I should have asked, you know, I don’t think so.

Because I need to rush I need to close this podcast because this can go on and on and on. Good Speaker You and Me.

Me. Really? I’ve lost filler words.

I have a lot of filler words on the lie.

But also I can’t get so this is your like third language. Oh, okay. No, it’s your fourth. It goes.

We don’t use a lot of filler words.

Telugu, Hindi English. It’s your fourth language. It’s my first language.

Oh, really? Yeah, you have I know two more other languages too. I can speak Tamil, but those are okay. They can call me. Listen, listen.

Those are not your languages. English is your fourth best language. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right.

Thanks. So you’re a good speaker, a better speaker than me. Yeah, cuz How come you don’t have your own podcast? Why do you have to come to my podcast and talk about these things? Is Better have you do your own podcast and do your things? I set expectations. I’m setting. I did invite you. You just came out of the microphone. No, you went, Oh, there was a formal invitation. Okay, maybe beg me to be here. I begged you to be here. Okay. Got it. Got it. Okay, I’ll leave it to our dear listeners to tell me. They’ll figure out the truth. I promise you. Okay. Okay. Any closing comments here?

No, thank you for having me. Yeah, you’re not done yet. It’ll be back. There’s gonna be more good when you check into college. Friday was recorded on 13. So you’re checking in, and three days, three days. Awesome. Brilliant. Hey, all the best to you. And to me, and to us. Okay. That’s all for now. This was completely unscripted, as you see, and there are so many things. And you clearly see that this could have gone even deeper and wider and in different directions also, but thank you for staying with us. Thank you for listening. Thank you for subscribing. And if you have a comment for me, by all means, you can text me at 888-818-0404. You can also write a comment on the podcasting app itself, whichever one you’re using. If you’re watching this on YouTube, there should be a place for you to make a comment also. That’s all for now. Wherever you are, be safe. And I’ll be with you as early as tomorrow. I just realized I’m not good. You can just finish me off. I just realized that. I just realized how much I have to do to catch up with you. Yeah, yeah.

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