Suffering From Glossophobia, aka Public Speaking? Do This..

Suffering From Glossophobia, aka Public Speaking? Do This..

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome back, happy Sunday morning to you. Today on the podcast, I am again answering a question, which has come in from a serious, dedicated, and continuous listener of this podcast. I had something else on my mind that I wanted to present today. But I kind of bothered that I’ll stop that. And I’m addressing this question because this question is very timely. And this has to be addressed right away. So here’s the question. Let me read the question first, and then we’ll come back to the to be answer. Hi, Srini. Hope you’re doing well. I have another question for you, as a previously conveyed to you that I started my current job during COVID time and also recently have been given the leadership role. I’m scheduled to give a departmental presentation in front of around 150 plus people in two weeks. And it will be an in-person meeting. I’m so stressed out not because of the content, but due to the environment setting, and seeking your advice to calm it down. I’m just worried that the stress or fear will affect my communication and active thinking during the presentation. I really want to succeed in this presentation delivery, as this would be my first impression in front of the department. And it would also count a lot to build on my confidence and also for my performance evaluation. I understand from your recent podcasts that there are so many questions coming your way. So I understand that my question won’t be answered very quickly. Thanks for your input as always. Okay, so let’s get into the answer now.

So first of all, I want to thank you for this question. Public speaking is a very difficult thing. And the fear of public speaking is in the top three like it’s, it ranks about the fear of death or something like that long time ago, the statistic has since changed ever since the social media has come in. But still, it’s a very dominant fear in over 75% of the people around the world, some in the world, feel the fear of public speaking, at some level, so this is a real problem. Okay. So let’s get into the question for a second. So some of the facts I want to state in this. First and foremost you are a leader, you are in a leadership role. You are not supposed to prove anything to anyone. So you are in that role, you’re in that role, you define yourself to be in that role. You worked to get that role. So you are a leader. And leaders are not rewarded for speaking, leaders are not judged through their communication style. And that’s not the primary judgment criteria. There are other things through which you are judged, and you are given that role. So you yourself, trying to impress people using just one criterion, which is your weight and the way you present. I think you are overthinking this. I do this podcast I present here every day. But I don’t judge myself through public speaking. And I don’t think that I’m a good public speaker either. And I don’t think anybody listens to this podcast because I’m a good speaker. Just I’m telling my story. I think people listen to this. Because maybe some of my ideas, maybe some the way I connect maybe the way I relate, whatever. I don’t think it’s because I’m a good speaker, because I know I’m not. So I’m not worried about anybody judging me the way I speak. In fact, this podcast today is just a one-take podcast. So I just press the record button I’m recording, so I don’t have time to rehearse. If I’m getting in front of 150 people.

There is a whole podcast episode I talked about you need to prepare the seas. If this is the kind of importance you’re giving to this presentation. First of all, I will not give this kind of importance. But if somehow I’m giving that kind of importance, then I will rehearse I will practice. I will get my content, right. I will get my vocabulary, right. I’ll get my tonality, right. I get my intent, right? I’m going to rehearse and rehearse and rehearse and the reason example, a long time ago I talked about here on this podcast, which is to get in front of the mirror and just practice as much as you can. Don’t look for perfection while you’re practicing. But then keep on practicing because rehearsals, you know, spectacular preparation precedes spectacular. Perfect oddments now in let me break this question line by line, I talked about leadership role already, you are already a leader, you are a leader, it doesn’t matter how well this presentation goes and how well it will not go. I’m stressed out not because of the content, but due to the environment setting and, and seeking good advice to calm it down. Okay. So you are stressed out, so are agreeing that you are stressed out, okay? And as a leader, you need to have some stress, but you cannot be stressed out. Leaders have stress. But they’re leaders because they know how to handle stress. So you cannot be stressed out. The reason why you’re worried about the environment is that you’re already stressed out. Otherwise, the environment is very friendly. They want you to present they want you to speak, they understand that you are the leader. And even if you pause, even if you stop in the middle, even if you just like lose yourself in the middle, that in itself, that simplicity, in itself will tell your people to trust more, to believe more in you. Because you are real.

So sometimes I when I don’t get my ideas, right, sometimes when I lose my thought in this podcast, my mind does go and say okay, I’m going to edit this out, I’m going to take it out, or I’m going to redo this, I don’t I let it go. Because I want people to see my imperfections. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Nobody’s perfect. I really want to succeed in this presentation. Okay, before that, the other line, the previous slide, I’m just worried about whether the stress or fear will affect my communication, no fear and stress will not affect your communication. What effective communication is is that you become overly critical of yourself. So don’t be critical. It’s okay to make mistakes. I really want to succeed in this presentation delivery as this would be my first impression in front of the department. No, it’s not true. Your first impression was the moment you met these people. And that’s the impression they carry just because you’re on the stage and you’re talking now. So I do this podcast. And let’s say I do a seminar, people come to seminars, and they already the people listen to my radio shows, they already have an impression that mental image in their mind did not have the may not have met me. And they’re seeing me for the very first time. But they have an impression, that they expect me to talk to them the same way. So this is not the first impression. The first impression was when you met them individually, the time you met them. So just because you’re meeting them collectively doesn’t change the dynamic. It would also count a lot to build on my confidence. Your job as a leader is to give confidence, your job is not to build your own confidence. Your confidence is not built in front of the people who report to you. Your confidence is built when you report to something that is higher than you. So I would seek higher sources to build my confidence. My confidence is not how I talk to my clients, or I spoke to clients, I really feel good, I don’t. My confidence comes when I go I try to speak to someone who is helping me understand my problems. And when I talk to them, and I take, for example, I was a student yesterday on a coaching call. I have multiple coaches with whom I work who work on me for my development, I derive my confidence from them.

I don’t feel confident because I solve three or four issues my clients have, or somebody is reaching out to me, I don’t feel confident because you asked me this question I recorded this podcast, doesn’t raise my confidence or doesn’t raise my ego. So this is not the way to build your confidence. That’s the point I’m trying to make. And also from my performance evaluation. Now, this is not your performance evaluation. This is a presentation, a presentation of facts, a presentation of realities presentation of some truth that is happening. So this is not a performance evaluation. You’re overthinking this. So where do you go from here? It’s very simple. You speak to an audience, whereas you are speaking to an individual. I’m speaking to you, that might be hundreds of people listening to this podcast, but I’m speaking to you. I have you in my mind as I’m recording the answer. I’m always speaking to one individual, whether I’m in front of 100 200,000 Python wasn’t, doesn’t matter. I don’t care if I lose out, most people reject me, in my mind, I don’t like I care, but I don’t care. What I care about is that one individual is will benefit from what I’m sharing. If one individual benefits, then I lived my day, it made my, my day it made my life, I feel relevant. So you walk in there, I walk on, I get on a stage. And I do my presentation to speak to one individual when you talk to one individual. In fact, everyone will see their success in you. So if I talk, if I talk to everybody on this podcast, then I will end up talking to no one, I’ll miss that connection, Miss creating that energy. My mindset is, somebody is having a problem, I need to do this podcast, I come here. And I want to rescue them from the situation. I don’t know who that is. So I want to talk to that individual who’s having a problem. So get on the stage, and talk to that individual, who you know, for sure will benefit from what you’re presenting. You go there to satisfy everyone, then you’re not going to get anybody on your side. And the first individual who should benefit from what you are sharing, or what you’ll be sharing at the stage is you start with yourself.

So I come here I do this podcast has to benefit me first. I need to feel goodwill and step away from the mic. I need to feel good. I’m not feeling good. Why do I expect you to feel good? Or you to get any value from this expense to elongate it thinking doesn’t work that way? I hope I answered your question. There are so many other things in my mind. But I wanted to quickly record this, make it timely make it available to you so that you can prepare and you can position yourself you rehearsed you get your mindset, right. This is a mindset issue. This has nothing to do with what’s happening on the ground. That’s my read based on the question, but appreciate your trust in me. And for everybody else who is listening to this. Hopefully, this is also helpful to you. If it is let me know. And you can always write a comment, write a review, and all that.

That’s all for now. Wherever you are, all of you have a wonderful Sunday or early Monday as you’re listening to this. And I’ll be back here again talking and continuing this podcast as early as tomorrow. New day, new week, talk soon, bye now.

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