People, Paths & Potholes

People, Pathways & Potholes

Here is the complete transcript of the podcast

Welcome to Success with Srini, today the January 25. Year 2022. A happy Tuesday morning to you. Yesterday on the podcast, I talked about how our thoughts, design or destiny. And I said or thoughts, or words or words of create or actions or actions create our habits or habits create our character and our character designs, our destiny. So thought to design of the destiny are interlinked incredible code. Unbelievable when I first heard it, I was young, I couldn’t make any sense of it. But today as I progress through life stages, this code profound.

Now, let’s take this code and just zoom in into your situation, my situation. You see, we all are saying, I may have a business, you may have a job, maybe you’re retired, maybe you’re a student still trying to figure out your career path. And we are in different timelines. But we are humans, we are the same. We all deal with the same issues. I deal with community issues, I deal with weather, I deal with politics, taxes, all kinds of stuff. You also deal with the same, maybe you are not dealing with all of them. But depending upon the stage you are in right now in life, you could end up dealing with all this. At the same time, we are bound by the rules of this universe by which we all are. But there is something about you that distinct. Something about me that is very different, which is my set of beliefs and values are different than your set of beliefs and values.

Life is neutral

With the set of beliefs and values, we happen to life. Life’s not happening to us, we are happening to life, life is neutral. It’s not positive or negative, it’s neutral. It’s what we make of it. So we thought beliefs and values, we create problems with the same beliefs and values, of course, different beliefs and values, we find solutions to our problems.

So if a set of beliefs and values are creating problems for you, you know, you realize and then you look for a solution. As a part of the solution, you need to now change some beliefs, change some values. So the problem goes away. And as you continue to live, you continue to create more problems. As they say, life is a problem. A baby, just born three seconds ago has a problem. Somebody who is about to leave this earth, in next three seconds, still has a problem. Wherever there is life, there is a problem. But the beauty of this life is it’s a privilege to be in this position.

Being humans like this, having this intelligence, having this set of emotions and ability to analyze our own actions, our own behavior, it’s a privilege only given towards humans. And we also carry the privilege of finding solutions to our problems. Amazing.

Okay, let’s stop there for a second. Let’s zoom in into your situation. See today, depending upon what you are trying to do, you have a job, you have a business, you will meet clients, you’ll meet your partners, you’ll meet your suppliers, different situations that we all are in today, you want to meet people. Remember yesterday podcast, I talked about having the mindset of pure intent, like a pure thought you will meet people who are trying to achieve something today. Big or small goals doesn’t matter. They’re also they have some outcomes that they have in their mind. And you also have some outcomes in your mind that you want to accomplish today. Now, every time somebody wants to do something, somebody has a job to do. Somebody has a business to do. They are on a pact. They are on a path. Now this path every time somebody is on a path, there are hurdles, some are visible, some are invisible. Your job with your intent with a pure thought is to help these people overcome these hurdles. That’s it. That’s your job. That’s the job that you do. You do not know this. That’s the job y’all do. Somebody asked me long time ago, this is my story. Somebody asked me what do you do? Srini. You’re a coach. You’re a trainer. You’re a speaker? I said, Yeah, I do many more things. I do a radio show. I do seminars, I do workshops. But really, as I started thinking more, because I was getting this question more frequently. What do I do?

As it becoming obvious to me that it was less than less than what I do. But as a result of what I’m doing what happens to people that matters. So after about 10, 15 years, I simplified this, the statement instead of writing a whole big bio, I said I turn around people. I turn on people so some people have challenges along the way. I turn them around. And I do that through coaching, through training, through mentoring, all that stuff. But even then, even though I got that one line answer. But still, it was not something that I could connect to. I cannot do but I don’t connect to because depending upon where I’m philosophically, sometimes I need to have a better answer or a bigger, deeper answer meaningful answer.

I sell you to you

So, here’s what I found out over these years in recent times that I sell you to you. So I’m in a sales job I sell you to you. So when somebody comes to me, and they say, I’m going to struggle, I’m going to this pain, I’m going to the suffering, what do I need to do? Uninformed coach or less experienced coach or somebody who has not gone through life themselves. Their suggestion would be, let me find a solution to this client’s problem. They have this problem, let me find the solution. So coaches and therapists and mentors, they’re driven to just find the solution. Not all, but a lot of them that I’ve seen. That’s not what the client is looking. That’s not what anybody who you are encountering today, they are not looking for that. See, your job is not to provide the solution to somebody who is on a path to a goal where they are facing an hurdle. Because you don’t know that hurdle. But you want to fill a passenger yourself on the same path. Maybe your job is to lend a helping hand.
When you flip the narrative in that way, in your mind, suddenly your role in the company doesn’t matter. The title you carry doesn’t matter. The significance that you demand doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you’re a participant in the proceedings, and can you lead the participation? Can you lead the proceedings? That’s what matters. I hope I’m coming across.

Once people started calling me and I was going through this and doing consultations and all. The core question was this. They were not calling for a solution. They were going through suffering and they wanted a way, if I could take the suffering of the obviously, but then there was something else they were seeking. And that is that, can I instill confidence in them? Can I instill possibility in them? That’s it.

Now whether we get to the solution or not, it’s a whole different story. But they’re seeking the confidence that yes, I can deal with it. Yes, possible. I can do it. Srini, can you provide a little bit of help? Can you instill this in me, ever since I shifted my narrative, in my mind, they’re looking for confidence, they’re looking for possibility. My whole thing changed. I have several of my coaching clients, I keep telling them, ask them what you do. And I know I’m a broker, I sell houses. And that’s why people reach out to me. They don’t, they’re not reaching out to you, because you sell houses, they’re reaching out to you because they want their house that day, or going through pain living in apartments and losing their money, and just not building an asset. So they’re coming to solve a problem. As a good broker, or, as an agent, your job is to understand the underlying pain.
When you understand the underlying pain, suddenly the conflict goes away, the friction goes away. Boss is yelling at you at work, or your spouse is yelling at you, your partner is yelling at you. It’s a cry for help, seriously Sakai for help. And you come across a new start back again with a higher, much bigger volume bigger aperture with your voice and getting back at them much more louder than they are guess what happens? They even short more. Every approach ends with a slam door. When the motion dissipates, you go into different rooms, the rooms close. That’s it. Every uproar ends with a slam door. So what is that? That you as a dentist, chiropractor, broker, software engineer, homemaker, what is it that you need to do? So that these people who are on the path to success, this could be your son, this could be a daughter, this could be your husband, your wife, they are on the path to that goal?

What is that you can do to remove the hurdles that facing because you don’t know the solution. And the way you do that is buying, instilling confident possibility. But before that, and you do that, by using certain words, you see that this is where the words come in. This is why I believe in you, I trust you. I support you, I am with you. When you use these words in any conversation, it empowers people.

People are seeking certainty from you

So what people are seeking is not solutions to the problems. They are seeking certainty from you. If you can instill the feeling of certainty into them, then they become unstoppable. Then they succeed you succeed. I’m perplexed by how people run to solve the problems without understanding this very core principle. Of course when people come to you, and they ask you for solutions to the problems, you need to gather intelligence, you need to understand them who they are what they do, you have to build rapport. That’s true.

But then the most important part they’re seeking is not a solution to the problem. But the certainty, which comes when you instill confidence and belief and possibility in them. So when you affirm their beliefs, that’s when success happens.
So today, my challenge to you is, when you meet people, wherever they are going. At work, in your business, wherever they are, I want you to create certainty for them. Don’t have confusing discussions, don’t participate in negative conversations, don’t create chaos to that which they already are having. I have been a consultant to many corporations, I’ve been in many hallways, during tea break or whatever. I overheard conversations and people have engaged in conversations in the break room during having coffee in the lunch room. And I have negated any conversation within which I was not contributing towards instilling their some kind of confidence or possibly into them.

They dragged me into politics, they dragged me into some kind of war between countries, any conversation, I completely detach myself. And I said, No, I’m here, Because you are on a path. You want to get to a goal. I want to help you get there. I will remove any kinds of kind of indecision from you. And I’m going to instill possibility into you. That’s my mindset. So I want you to do that. And I want you to see how suddenly now you’re controlling the environments. Amazing when you do this. I’m gonna stop here. This is a logical point to take a break. I’ll be back here again tomorrow. We continue this conversation.

Hopefully this is helping. If it is, let me know. Just text me, my number is 888-818-0404. You have a question for me, let me know. But then, this is how we design outcomes. This is how we design our destiny, by design the destiny of others, so easy to use words and influence positive changes in people. It’s very powerful. That’s all for now. You take care.

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